Firesong
by Ameliamoore
Summary: The 76th Hunger Games are here featuring Snow's Granddaughter Melodie. Now that Coin is in control Panem is in a state of unease as the final games begin. Having Katniss and Peeta as her mentors began as a punishment but things don't always go to plan. There's something bigger bubbling beneath the surface - a spark that could reignite the flames. Melodie Snow is about to burn.
1. Reaping

I choose a place towards the front of the crowd, already knowing my fate. Coin stands on the balcony above the stage where my grandfather once stood, looking down on her newest puppets. I know that the cards inside that bowl are blank, that the Effie woman has memorised a predetermined list.

"Isaura Finch!" She calls. "Landon Cartier" is next. "Fleur Delaurentis" follows, then "Byron Kendall". By the time "Melodie Snow" is called they finally catch on, and I see the girl's face twist unpleasantly. Katniss watches me as I take my place in the tribute's line.

My grandfather and I were never close and I never forgave him for the things he did, but I still felt that tug as her arrow pierced his chest. I didn't think I would mind losing him after everything he put us through but in truth it just felt wrong. As awful as he was, he was family.

The crowd deteriorates quickly until almost a tenth of us become tributes. The capitol citizens aren't big on kids, most spend too much of their time at social events to care for children. Most women don't want to ruin their tiny bodies so most will be the children of older residents. The reaping will seriously damage the gene pool, not that Coin cares; soon she will replace us with others from thirteen.

After the final names are called Peeta and Katniss leave the stage, and I can feel both their eyes on me. I try to look unemotional, even blank, although the others around me weep openly. I feel exposed with all the cameras aimed at us, like an ant under a magnifying glass.

After Coin gives a speech to the districts we are taken to the remake centre. I'm told that I'm representing twelve just as I expected. Peacekeepers escort us down the long corridors, pushing one into each room. Eventually only I remain, he leads me to the final room. "Stay there until your team gets here." He says, slamming the door as he backs out again.

The room is not so bad, but the faint smell of bleach and the cold white walls and floor remind me of the medical centre. I stand leaning against the metal table in the centre of the room just so I can no longer see it, until eventually three people whom I recognise appear at the door.

"I can't believe they let us work with you!" The one with the green skin screeches, taking me by surprise. "We're the only prep team who have done this before, but we all wanted to work with you. We were Katniss's team." She says.

"I'm Flavius" says the man with the orange hair, putting his hand on my shoulder. I'm not used to being touched by strangers, up until a few hours ago I had rarely talked to anybody but my carers in years.

"Hello Melodie, my name is Venia and this is my friend Octavia. We're here to prepare you for your stylist."

"Not that there will be too much to do" says Octavia. "You should have seen Katniss when she got here, she was filthy!"

"Well, this should not be too bad for you all this year, just a little touch-up. There's nothing too drastic to do, just lie down and relax." Flavius says.

The next hour or so is draining, there seems to be more work to be done than they expected. I may live in the capitol, but I have never understood why I would need to make so much effort just to stay locked in my little tower like the characters in the books my mother used to read me.

After being scrubbed, waxed and trimmed in every way possible, Venia and Octavia finally leave me with Flavius. I'm given a flimsy bath robe and placed in a chair to have my hair washed and styled. Even after the pile of hair around the chair seems to be enough for another person, much of it still hangs in thick, dark blonde curls around my face.

"I have an idea. Let's just leave it alone and dye it instead." He says, and I nod my head in agreement. I don't care too much as long as he finishes soon; my stomach has begun to growl loudly. I'm not used to waiting for food, but I guess it's about time to learn. I close my eyes and allow him to do whatever he wishes, exhausted already.

"Finally!" He shouts after a while, making me jump violently. He turns me around so that I can see myself in the mirror, and I'm pleased to see that I still look like myself. My hair is palest blonde, and dotted with tiny flecks of glitter. "You're ready for Cillian now." He says.

I'm lead through a door to a small, comfortable looking room. Flavius leaves me finally, so I stand waiting for my stylist not quite sure what to do. Luckily the man appears after only a few minutes, smiling softly so that I feel at ease almost instantly.

"Hello I'm Cillian. I'll be your stylist this year." He says. He is dressed simply, with none of the signs of living in the capitol. He reminds me of somebody I know, but it takes me a moment to get it.

"You look just like Cinna." I say, but once the words leave my mouth I begin to wonder if they should have stayed in my head. Luckily, though, he speaks softly and does not seem offended.

"I thought you might be familiar with my brother, he did such a good job with your mentor." He says. "Not many of us are left now, and although this is my first time it is also my last so I intend to do my best." He says.

"Please, sit down. You must be hungry by now." He says. We sit on the plush sofa and he pushes the button for our food to arrive. We eat without talking, and I appreciate the silence as for the first time today I can think clearly.

"So, as you may have guessed things will be a little different this year. Tributes usually meet their mentors and fellow tribute on the train, but you were already here. We're going to do the parade first; you will meet Elias and your mentors there. Now, let me show you the plans. We're not doing district themes this year, as you're all from the capitol. Anything goes." he says. I don't know if I should be afraid or relieved, but if he is anything like Cinna I know I should trust him.

The carriages await us at the bottom on the remake centre; I'm one of the first to arrive. I spot Katniss and Peeta instantly, but hesitate for a few moments. I had rooted for them during both games, but the girl killed my grandfather and the boy was tortured by his people. The more I stand the more apprehension builds up, so I put on a brave face and walk slowly in their direction.

I'm surprised to find that I know my fellow tribute that waits with them; he was in my defence class when we were younger. He looks so different now of course, but those pure green eyes still pierce out against his dark skin as he looks up and notices me so I know it could never be anyone else.

I remember hating those classes at first, everyone there was the child of my grandfather's employees so stayed well away from me as if I was an angry viper. Elias, on the other hand, was the only child to come and talk to me without being forced by a parent. Although the gestures were small, I appreciated them so much that I remember them all clearly.

Three months in I broke his nose with a clumsy kick and I was sure he would hate me, but after treatment he came and told me that he knew it was an accident and I shouldn't feel bad. Things that seem so insignificant now made me feel so much better. I just hope that somebody else kills him because if it comes down to the two of us, I know I could never hurt him.

"Mel!" calls Elias when I get close enough, beckoning me closer. I'm relieved to see his outfit is similar to mine but not identical, I hated the twin act that my mentors were made to do. Peeta greets me first which calms me, his handshake is firm and steady. "Nervous?" he asks.

"Only a lot" I say, letting out a short, awkward laugh.

"Keep your head up, stand tall and proud. Most of the crowd are from the districts, and all they want is a show. Cillian and Ana have designed these costumes to make you two stand out. There's no point in trying to blend in, you're already the main target just like Peeta and I last year." says Katniss.

"Just try to stay calm and you'll be fine. Go with whatever feels natural. Each district has been given an allowance to spend on sponsorship to make it as much like all the other years as possible. We want you to do well; although some of these people are angry enough to enjoy this most are just normal people being forced to participate. You two go out there and show them why you're worth supporting." He says.

I feel a little better, I had never thought that perhaps not everyone is the districts was purely out for my blood. Some will be, but the comfort comes from the small percentages that are not.

The opening ceremony is about to begin, so Katniss helps me into the rest of my costume. Over the pure white gown she fastens a thin mesh covered in tiny stars, glowing subtly but bright enough to draw the eye. The materials are so light that they dance in the slightest breeze, floating around my legs as if there was no gravity. She places the crystal headdress over my hair and smiles, but her eyes stay sad. "I'm sorry." She says, but I don't have time to question the gesture because the carriages are about to move.

"Ready?" says Elias.

The opening music begins, blasted around the capitol as the doors slide open.

"As ready as I'll ever be." I say, as the carriages begin their journey to the city circle. I notice the other pairs represent various capitol images; some dyed strange colours or wearing large wigs. They don't look too dissimilar to other capitol residents at a ball.

Most of the crowd seems to be made up of people from the districts, for most it must be their first time in the capitol. The capitol residents don't line the streets this time, we are there children and they can finally understand that this is sad. This is not a celebration; we are being shown off like the dishes on a table before the banquet is served.

I catch glimpses of Elias and I in the screens as we pass, and know that we're different to everyone else. His suit is tasteful and plain, just the hemlines have a gentle glow. The pure lily pinned to his jacket matches me, and I'm so happy that I am not dressed like the others whose colours seem so harsh against the half-light. By the time we get to the end of our journey it is dark and our glistening still seems to have everyone looking at us.

When we get to the city circle I realise that Elias' hand is in mine, that he is the only reason I felt so brave. He smiles at me and I feel just like that day so many years ago, the last time he saved me from being alone. I'm glad that at least one person I like will be around for the next few days, but I try to remind myself that we can't both survive. Katniss and Peeta may have been lucky, but there's no way Coin will allow it this time.

Coin gives the official welcome on the balcony, her hair still in an unbroken sheet of grey although the wind is getting stronger. We, like Katniss and Peeta, seem to grow harder to look away from as it gets darker. I blank out her voice booming over our city and concentrate on the gentle waving of the Panem flag behind her. It seems so peaceful out here, but I'm more than aware that this is our calm before the storm.

When it is over the doors shut behind us back at the remake centre and I climb down from the carriage to greet my mentors once again.

"You looked amazing, both of you. This is exactly what Cillian and I were going for – gentle and pure." Says a woman I assume to be Elias' stylist Ana.

"That isn't going to do them any favours in the arena." Says a voice from behind Katniss, and I recognise him immediately as her mentor in both games, Haymitch.

"Ignore him, you'll be fine. We want them to see you as yourself, not as your grandfather." says Peeta, giving me a reassuring smile.

Haymitch mutters something which sounds like it may have been offensive, before giving us one last look and disappearing back into the crowd of tributes and mentors. Finally, we are allowed to leave and travel to the center which will become our home for the next few weeks.

The tribute tower is nothing new to me; it is basically a larger version of the place in which I have lived for the last five years. We take the elevator up to the top floor and Katniss tells us to go rest.

The first thing I do is programme the interactive wall to a view of the city because it's so similar to the view from my bedroom window that it provides a little comfort. I look in the drawers and find a bottle of makeup remover and some cotton buds. As much as I like my costume, I'm ready to be me again.

The shower is overcomplicated compared to mine at home; so many buttons do the same thing. The entire building is designed to show the grandeur of the capitol to district kids, but we know all of their tricks. When the last fleck of glitter has left my body I step out and place my hand on the panel to dry my hair. Even after killing all that time nobody has called for dinner, so I take a simple dress from the drawer then go back to the sitting room. Katniss sits alone on the sofa, her head resting in her palms.

"Hey." I say quietly.

"Hey" She replies. I sit next to her for a little while until suddenly she stands up and smiles.

"I've got something to show you" She says, and I follow her up a flight of stairs onto the roof. There's a small dome-shaped room with a door to the outside. We step outside into the cool night air and I gasp. The city lights look so beautiful, even better than from my room at home.

"This is where I came the first night, up here with Peeta" she says. We stand at the railings on the edge of the roof and look down on the empty streets.

"It's so much nicer from up here than down there, I suppose that's why my mother chose my home. See that stone tower just behind the mansion?" I ask her. "That was my home until today. My grandfather seemed to like the out of sight out of mind approach after my mother was killed."

"I guess I never imagined that you would be like this. I suppose I brought you up here to say I'm sorry. I know it doesn't help, but Coin wanted us to choose while I was still angry. She has us trapped, we simply have to do what she says for the next few weeks and then maybe she'll leave us alone." she says.

"I understand, Katniss. She would have done this whether you agreed or not, she's just like my grandfather. I'm sorry for what he did to you and your friends, but I want you to know that he hurt us too. It's his fault that my mother is dead, and it's his fault that I'm a tribute now. Please Katniss, don't blame yourself." I say.

She finally smiles, then breaks from her trance and turns away from the balcony. "Come on, you still need to meet Effie and Haymitch. It's almost time for dinner. Try not to get too offended, he's rude to everybody."

When Katniss and I get to the dining room everyone is already there. The woman stands to greet me, but Haymitch doesn't even acknowledge us. We load our plates up at last; it seems that Effie had made them wait for us before starting. I sit opposite Elias and take note of who is here. I count seven, somebody is missing. "Isn't Peeta joining us?" I ask, but Katniss and Haymitch just glance briefly at each other and then back down at their plates leaving me without an answer.

The stylists discuss the parade with Effie and she tells them about all of the people who mentioned that they couldn't look away from us. She seems a little strange, her wig sits at an awkward angle and she keeps stopping mid sentence every now and again or losing track of what she was saying. I wonder if she was always like this, or what could have been done to her to make her seem so unhinged.

We're offered glasses of golden liquid by an Avox; I take one and sip it slowly. The bubbles tickle my tongue and after a while my head becomes foggy. We're served all kinds of dishes, but I notice Katniss eats nothing but lamb stew. Eventually Elias stands to leave and I follow him, hoping that for the first time today I could talk to him alone. He's a little ahead of me so I follow him into the sitting room.

"You know Mel, you used to just call me Eli." He says.

"Okay then Eli, mind if I join you?" I ask.

He pats the cushion next to him and gestures for me to sit. He tucks his legs up under him and I mirror him. I can't believe how comfortable he still is with me even after all this time.

"I never thought for a moment that the next time we met would be like this. You and I, thrown together again." He says.

"Do you really think either of us has a chance?" I ask him quietly.

"I think we've got a better chance than some of the others. After all, we have the best mentors. Coin thinks she is punishing you by giving you to Katniss, but she's doing us a favour. Barely any real mentors survived, some of the tributes have mentors who were never even in the games. Don't give up before you've even started." He says, resting his hand on my knee.

"I've missed you all these years. Where have you been hiding?" I ask

"I've been right here, Mel. I tried plenty of times to come see you whenever I could escape the minder, but every time I pressed the intercom a woman on the other end told me you were out. After a while I assumed that you didn't want to see me and came less often. I was there last night, but there was no answer at all." He says.

"Eli, I barely left that tower for five years. My grandfather didn't want anyone near me after my mother was killed, and here I am again in the same situation. I'm sorry that I kept you waiting." I say.

I notice Katniss in the doorway and wonder how long she has been listening. "I always imagined capitol children as kind of... free." She says.

"They don't have much time for us until we're eighteen, old enough to take to their parties and show off like prizes." I tell her.

"Come on girls, that's enough doom and gloom. At least one of us will be dead in a few weeks; I think we need a little cheering up." says Elias.

Although we have just finished eating and none of us are hungry we order cake and watch the recap of the opening ceremony. Most of the costumes seem like they were thrown together clumsily, I've heard that not many stylists survived the rebellion. We stand out from the crowd, Elias and I glowing softly in the darkness. The fear that I felt doesn't show on my face, Elias's hand must have stopped my shaking well enough that it was not picked up by the cameras.

This year, however, we are not the only ones to stand linked together. Most of the capitol children will already know each other, most are friends. I suppose I'm lucky that I only know Eli closely; although I recognise many of the others I have no attachments to them. The others are not so lucky; those who were not privately tutored like Elias and I will have gone to school together.

Once the recap is over I go back to my room and crawl underneath the soft sheets and don't even bother to remove my clothes. Training starts tomorrow, and if I'm this exhausted after my first day I know that the next will be even harder. I drift off easily, almost as soon as my head hits the pillow.


	2. Training

My mother used to say that every dream has an important meaning, but mine last night were muddled and clumsy. The president's mansion has a collection of ancient books that have been preserved in special sheets; I used to love going there with her and deciphering our dreams together. I would carefully turn each page and absorb the adventures of the characters within. It made me feel safe whenever things got a little too much. I begin to wish that I had one of them with me so that I could escape the reality that is yet to come, to follow the girl named Alice down her rabbit hole where even her bizarre world is less frightening than my own.

The interactive wall slowly lights up the room so that I wake gently, but it still takes a while to prise myself from the warm sheets. I take a shower in the hopes that it will kick-start the day, but find myself feeling nauseous as I accidently push a button which covers me in a strong rose-scented foam. I turn the shower up as high as it will allow, trying to remove the smell as quickly as possible but it refuses to leave my skin. In a panic, I start to press random buttons diving out of the way of the spray until I find one strong enough to mask the roses. Eventually I find one which makes me smell like mint and decide that it is probably the best I will get. I make a mental note to remember where the rose button is and avoid it carefully next time.

Once I'm dried I go to the closet and find an outfit picked out for me. Tight black pants, a long-sleeved burgundy tunic and leather shoes. The colour highlights the pink patches on my face brought on by nerves, but I know that today this will be the least of my worries. I tie my hair up in a tight bun, although it is so thick that three bands break before I finally manage to contain it. Perhaps I should as Flavius if he could do anything to make it easier to manage in the arena.

I head down to the dining room and I'm pleased to see that Peeta is already at the table. His breakfast sits untouched in front of him; although I can tell by the murky sheet that has formed over his coffee that he has been here a while. I load my plate up with salmon and eggs, then sit across the table from him. "I thought you would be hungry by now, I didn't see you at dinner last night." I say.

He looks up at me as if he wants to say something important, but drops his head back down after a few moments. "I'm fine, thank you." He says quietly. I know not to press the issue, so make small talk while I eat. I get little response, so eventually I decide to say something I know he has to react to.

"I saw the picture you painted last year, the one of the little girl. Of Rue." I say. He finally gives me a real reaction, some expression floods back into his face.

"How could you have seen that?" He asks suspiciously.

"I was curious about what Katniss would do, so I forced myself to visit my grandfather in the hopes that he would allow me to watch her. He said no, of course, but I couldn't resist. I used my mother's old access card and snuck into the building. One of my mother's old friends caught me trying to sneak into the vent like I had seen done in one of my books, but let me watch via the security cameras in his office instead. It was amazing, what you did. She was my favourite, Rue, the hardest death to watch. My father was from her district, you know." I tell him.

"He wasn't from the capitol?" He asks.

"No, why do you think my surname is Snow? My grandfather had him killed when he found out my mother was pregnant, he couldn't bear the thought of his only daughter being with the farmer from eleven. I suppose that's why he had so little interest in me, because I'm a reminder of my mother's betrayal." I say. I'm not sure what it is about Peeta, but something makes me want to tell him all my secrets.

"Nice story, sweetheart." says a rough voice from behind me. I'm annoyed that he has interrupted us, although I feel better telling Peeta about myself I don't feel like I should extend the courtesy to Haymitch.

"Please, don't stop just for me." He says.

"I was finished, actually." I say, and try to keep my voice even. He narrows his eyes at me, but then continues loading up his plate. Katniss appears next, then Elias and Effie. Our stylists are the last to arrive, but seem to be in the best spirits after their apparent victory with our costumes last night.

We finish eating, and Cillian and Ana say goodbye. Today is the first day of training, so they won't we needed yet. "So, let's get down to business. Would you like to be coached separately, or together?" She asks.

I hesitate and look to Elias for an answer. I have no problem working with him, but I wonder if he feels the same way.

"What do you think, Mel? I mean, I'd like to work together but it's up to you." He says. I'm sure that he thinks he is doing me a favour by offering, but I would rather have no say. I hate being put on the spot; decision making isn't exactly my strong point.

"Yeah, we'll train together then." I decide.

"Not again, it's you two all over again. You need to realise that we can't all play happy families this year, at least one of you is going to die." says Haymitch.

Peeta gives him an angry look. "They're already friends, what good will it do keeping them apart? If they want to train together, let them" he says.

"Are you sure?" Katniss asks us. "If you have any skills that you wish to hide from the other, then they will be exposed today."

"Really Katniss, we're sure." says Eli.

"Speaking of skills, we're going to need to know yours." Peeta says.

"Mel and I took defence classes when we were younger; we're both pretty good at hand to hand combat. I'm not too bad at spear fishing, so I suppose that helps if there's a river." says Elias.

I struggle to think of any stills I possess which would be of any real value in the arena. Birdcalls and playing the piano are not going to save me now. "A few of the other tributes were in that class too, so I don't think we'll have too much of an advantage over them. I can swim, but after last year I doubt they will use a lot of water again. I've read books on animal tracking, but I've never actually tried it." I say.

"Well, that's a start. The skills needed for the arena are not easy to come by in the capitol. You don't need to hunt or gather or climb here so the others are not likely to have the upper hand. Perhaps you will even have a small advantage." says Katniss.

Elias lists a few other things that we learned, knife throwing and that type of thing. It seems that we're pretty evenly matched.

"I don't think that there's too much more to say just yet. We're all up pretty late, training starts soon. We might as well go now, if you're ready." says Peeta.

I begin to wish that I had not eaten so much, as I can't tell if it's the food or the nerves which are making my stomach flip. I decide that it must be the latter as I notice the slight shake in my hands.

Effie meets us in the lift and we travel down to the training rooms. We're a little early, only a few other pairs are here. I don't recognise many of their mentors as being from previous games, so I guess the rumours were true.

I find that I recognise more of the female tributes that I initially thought, without all their makeup I find it easier to imagine how they looked when we were younger. More wander in as it gets closer to ten o'clock, most look exhausted. I'm usually one of the only people in the capitol awake at this time, even mid-week.

As soon as the last pair joins the circle, the head trainer introduces herself as Atala and gives us the basics. Experts in each skill will stay at their station; we will be free to travel between them as we wish. Some teach survival skills, some teach combat. We are forbidden to engage in any combative exercise with other tributes. There are assistants on hand if we want to practice with a partner. She lists all the stations and then we are left to train.

I'm confused when Elias does not follow me towards the fire making station, so I feel a little lost standing alone. I know from previous years that there is hardly ever a year when fire is not a crucial part of survival, so I stick with my choice.

The other tributes seem to favour the combat area, although not one of them is competent with a weapon. Those who chose other stations are the only ones I recognise, so I guess that they must have been the ones in our defence classes. They probably regard it as their secret skill, so will save it for the private sessions.

The expert shows me how to start a simple fire with a few sticks and a piece of string, making a small bow so that the stick is spun quickly without damaging my hands. Pleased with my achievement, I move on to the knot-tying station which Katniss reminded me not to miss out.

Over the next three days Eli joins me now and again, going to every station except combat. Together we make a decent shelter and do pretty well with identifying plants; it seems that whichever task one of us lacks knowledge in the other excels at. I had not wanted to stick with him in the games in case it came down to the two of us, but it becomes apparent that we're nowhere as good at anything separated.

At lunch Elias and I sit alone, and decide that although we know some of these people we should avoid them whenever possible. Making friends was never my strong point, I could never even pretend to care about new wigs or that party that they wanted to go to so badly while stuck at home with minders. Elias was always the only person interesting enough to talk to without having to smile politely and excuse myself after just a few moments of shallow babble. Anyway, every extra friend is just one more that I will eventually have to lose.

By the second day I find that tributes whose parents worked for my grandfather actively avoid me, leaving the station each time I get there. They've grown up being told by their parents to be careful around me, to try not to offend me and make polite conversation. I'm not the one they should be scared of right now, but I suppose old habits die hard and I haven't exactly been making my case for proving their parents wrong. Although there is no longer a risk of them or their families being punished by him, I have ignored them long enough for them to give up trying to talk to me.

Back on floor twelve Peeta and Katniss don't seem too worried when we tell them about the day. We did well, but not so much to draw attention to ourselves. There doesn't seem to be any real strategy, we're free to do as we wish. Haymitch, on the other hand, seems to have other ideas. He constantly tries to grill us about what we did, who saw us, how the others reacted. When Peeta tells him to stop he seems genuinely disappointed.

"Have you really given up on them already?" he mutters.

"We haven't given up; we just don't see the point in giving them any more pressure than they already have. I've watched the others, they're not careers. They're scared kids." says Peeta.

"I'm sure that's what they want you to think, too. If you don't know that they're all going to have some kind of strategy to pick of our two little friends here then you're insane." Haymitch says.

This seems to hit a nerve with Peeta, he stands up and excuses himself calmly but I can tell by his eyes that he is furious. "Well, that was low. Even for you." Katniss spits. She throws an apple at his head which he somehow manages to duck out of the way from and follows Peeta out of the room.

Only Haymitch, Elias and I remain at the table. We have never been alone with Haymitch, and I don't know what to expect. Elias grabs my hand under the table to comfort me.

"Now that they're out of the way we can get to business." He says.

"And what business would that be? Our mentors just left, thanks to you." Elias says.

"They have some kind of deluded idea that you're going to magically find your own way around the arena without their help. The truth is that all they want to do is get this over with. They're under the impression that Coin will leave them alone as long as they don't pull any tricks. Yes, there's a pretty high chance that you'll be dead before you even leave the cornucopia. Still, something tells me that you're better than you let on." Haymitch says.

"I'm not hiding anything, if that's what you're suggesting." I say.

"Well, you really are like Katniss." Haymitch says.

"What is that supposed to mean?" I ask. I'm pretty sure that the comment was meant as an insult, but I'd be happy to be anything like Katniss. She won the games, after all.

"Distrustful and completely oblivious to the feelings of... others." He says. I'm not sure what he was suggesting with the hesitation, but I'm pretty sure that he had glanced briefly at Elias when he said it. Perhaps Elias is the one who is hiding something, maybe he secretly hates me. Then I realise. I'm proving him right, Haymitch. It only took the slightest suggestion for me to jump to conclusions. Maybe I am distrustful, but it's better than trusting blindly. That is the kind of thing gets you killed in the arena.

We allow Haymitch to grill us about training; Elias says that he's right about us needing more guidance. Although all I want is to be alone, we allow him to lecture us about the importance of observing our opponents for a full half hour. I excuse myself eventually, telling them that I'm going to the bathroom. I can apologise to Eli for abandoning him later, I can't stand listening to any more advice. The more I get, the more real this becomes.

Our last day of training is tomorrow; our private sessions will be held after lunch. I need to talk to Katniss; she's the only person who I can bear to talk to right now.

I find her on the alone on the roof, looking over the city.

"Hey." I say.

"Hey" She replies.

We don't talk at first; we just listen as the people below go about their day. It doesn't seem to have taken them long to get over the reaping, there's a party going on a few streets away.

"How old are you, Melodie?" Katniss asks softly after a while.

"I'll be fifteen next month, if I make it that far" I say.

"Almost the same age as Prim would have been, if she was here." She says. "She was going to be a doctor, you know, before they killed her."

"I was in the mansion when you were brought there, just after my grandfather was captured. They let me in to see him, just for a few moments. I asked him why he sent the parachutes, why he killed all of those children. He said he didn't. The last thing he ever said to me was a lie. He looked me straight in the eyes and told me that he didn't send them." I say.

Katniss looks away from the point in the distance which she had been staring at for the last ten minutes. "He wasn't lying." Katniss says. "It was Coin." Something seems to snap inside her head; all of her distance is gone. She's alert, eyes wide and angry.

"You know what she told me just before we came to the reaping? She said 'No more tricks, just do your job.' Can you imagine that? Coin, telling me to send you straight into the slaughterhouse without a fight after what she did."

"Katniss, I don't know what you're talking about." I say.

"What I'm talking about, Melodie, is payback. If you win, then what will she do? She's counting on us letting you die. But that's not what Peeta and I stand for. She wanted a rebellion, so that's what we're going to give her. You're going to win this, I'm sure of it." She says.

I appreciate Katniss's sudden enthusiasm, but she has forgotten that there are two of us. "Even if I can beat the others, what about Elias? You're his mentor too."

"I've seen the way he looks at you, he'll do anything to keep you alive."

"Yeah? And how do you know that?" I say.

"Because it's the way Peeta looks at me." She replies.


	3. Secrets

I wake up and stretch, but instantly regret it. The last two days of training were a shock to my muscles which are not used to being subjected to lifting anything heavier than a book; they ache continually when moved even a little.

After Katniss's revelation about Coin yesterday evening, she spoke to Peeta and Haymitch and convinced them to train us properly. I insisted it was a little too late, but they seemed to be motivated by something important although they would not explain.

We stayed up late last night, and finally we were given some real tips. Katniss taught us about some plants which the expert had not mentioned from a little handwritten book with beautiful illustrations of what each looks like. Peeta described how to make a decent camouflage out of dirt, and how to find water. Haymitch joined us, and then fell asleep after the first hour. I managed to take his knife without waking him, although I'm sure by that point he was so drunk that I could have taken his entire arm and he would never have noticed.

I finally manage to drag myself out of bed and to the shower, allowing the warmth to sooth my aching muscles. Today is the last morning of training, at lunch we will be called out for our private sessions.

Last night they kept us so busy that I barely had time to think, to consider what Katniss has told me. Even if she is right about Elias, surely I can't let him go into the games with the intention of protecting me rather than himself. It may have worked out for Peeta, but Elias can protect himself alone. He has a real chance of winning, as long as he concentrates on protecting himself instead of me. I decide to push the thoughts to the back of my mind and deal with them later.

We spend the morning brushing up on the last few things that could help us, revisiting stations until we're sure that we know the important points off by heart. Then they begin to call us out of lunch for our private sessions, first the boy then the girl. They don't come back afterwards, so soon only Eli and I are left. Eventually Elias is called, and I am left alone.

"Remember what Katniss said. Try to look average." I say.

"That won't be too hard." he says, then leaves me sitting alone. For about fifteen minutes I sit and try to remember everything our mentors said over the last few days. Thanks to Coin I know that I'm either going to be given a score so low that nobody in their right mind would sponsor me, or one so high that I will become a bigger target than I already am. Elias's tactic will not work for me, so I have decided to aim for the latter.

Eventually my name is called. I try to smooth down the stray hairs and wipe any remaining crumbs from my tunic. I enter the gymnasium and announce myself politely. I request a partner, and simply ask them to attack me. The woman seems confused at first, but at least I have the attention of a few of the Gamemakers. I wait patiently, and when she figures out that this is not a joke she takes her stance and attempts a kick. I block it easily. She tries a few more moves, but I manage to duck out of the way before she has even fully completed the move. I can tell by the redness in her face that she is truly trying, but I've barely broke a sweat and none of her swings have so much as scraped me. On her final attempt she almost catches my left ear, but the momentum leaves flat out on the padded mat. She signals to me that she is done. I help her up and smile sweetly.

The Gamemakers look mildly impressed, but I still have a little time remaining. I choose the throwing knives and manage to hit the centre of almost all ten targets. I turn to the Gamemakers and bow. At last, I am dismissed. I take the elevator up to floor twelve, relatively pleased with myself. Those extra nights practicing with Elias when we were younger must have paid off.

When I get to our floor, it seems at first that nobody is there. I knock on bedroom doors searching for a reply but receive none. I decide to go to my own room to see if the interactive wall here plays music like mine at home. It seems so long since the last time I heard the soothing sound of my favourite tracks. I open the door and walk in half in a day-dream, and Jump as I hear a sniff from underneath the covers. I pull the sheet from over the person's head cautiously. It's Katniss.

"Hey." I say.

"Hey." she replies.

"Um... Are you alright?" I ask.

"I'm sorry if I scared you. I just didn't know who else to talk to. I'm not good at talking to people about this kind of thing, even with Prim. But you're different somehow. You're like me." She says. Her words come out in a rush, tripping over each other as they escape.

I go to the panel on the wall and ask for two cups of tea which appear almost instantly, as always. If there's one good thing about the capitol, it's consistency. "My mother always used to say that tea fixes everything that could possibly break." I tell her.

"I think I'm broken beyond the reaches of hot beverages." She says, with the same sad smile as always.

"What's going on, Katniss?" I ask gently.

"We're getting married. If you win, that is." She whispers.

"Weren't you already married in your district?" I ask.

"No, we weren't. Coin said that if we let you win, then she's going to make us have the public wedding which was planned for us before the 75th games and there's nothing we can do." She seems so sad, most couples would love a wedding paid for and held by the capitol. "It's not real, Melodie. None of it is real." She says. And that's when she explains it all to me. About my grandfather's threats, about the part that she played in the act which tricked the nation. By the time she tells me that there was never any baby, she begins to cry. The girl who seemed unbreakable falls apart right beside me, and I just sit there gawping like an idiot.

Once the tears stop once again, she tells me about the events which lead up to her coming here. She tells me how she locked herself away when she came back to district twelve after she killed my grandfather, barely eating anything until she was saved again by the boy with the bread. She describes how Peeta turned up at last and planted the Primrose bushes around her house. He took care of her for the months leading up to my reaping, until the phone call came and she remembered the choice she had made. The choice to allow the 76th hunger games to go ahead. The choice that ultimately lead up to me being here. But not really. Because they choice was always Coin's.

Katniss looks so fragile and young, and I finally see what the capitol has done to her. I've always seen her as the girl on fire, the Mockingjay who lead a rebellion. Yet here in this room, she's an eighteen year old girl who has lost everything she cares about. Her home, her family, and now her free will.

I reach across and lift her chin up so that she is looking at me once again. "The chances that I will win are slim at best. Even if by some miracle I do win, we're not going to let her do this. We'll figure something out, I promise." I say.

"You don't have to promise me anything, except that you won't tell Peeta. Please, Melodie, you can't tell him." She begs.

I act out zipping my mouth and throwing away the key. "Thank you." she mouths. We lie back on the bed and stare at the ceiling for a while, the quiet is nice. Eventually Katniss falls asleep, and I tuck the blanket around her. She looks so peaceful in sleep, as if the world is no longer resting on her shoulders. Elias knocks on the door soon after, so I leave her and go to dinner.

Peeta asks about her absence as we eat, so I lie and say that she has a bad headache and doesn't want to be disturbed. Luckily he does not enquire further, so the issue is laid to rest. We decide not to discuss the private sessions without Katniss against Haymitch's protestations, which allows me a short reprieve. We finish our meal quickly; I know that everyone is eager to see our scores this evening. I'm nervous; although I'm pretty sure Coin will have ensured that my score draws attention to me. I felt that I did well, but what I did in the gymnasium will probably mean nothing. We arrange ourselves on the sofas ready for the broadcast to start, and Katniss rejoins us looking like her normal self. What happened earlier is a secret that only she and I will keep.

The announcements begin. First they flash up a picture of each tribute and which district they represent, then their score. Most score around six, with the girl who was reaped first pulling the lowest score of just two. Isaura, I think her name was. Elias gets the result he was hoping for, a nice average seven. I know he is actually much better; it must have taken real effort to achieve a score so much lower than he could have. Still, it will keep him from being seen as too much of a target.

Although I am expecting a high score being given, I'm still shocked when the number comes up on the screen. I get a twelve.

"Well, they really must want you dead." says Haymitch. They all look at him angrily but I know that it is what they're all thinking. The likelihood of Katniss getting that wedding is even slimmer now, so I guess at least my imminent death won't be a total waste.

I crawl into bed with my head filled with a million thoughts, and decide after an hour that I'm never going to get to sleep. Tomorrow we will be coached for the interviews, then the day after we will appear on the live interviews with Ceaser Flickerman. Then the next, the games begin. After tonight, I can see that the odds are most certainly not in my favour.

I creep down the corridor and to Elias's door. I push it gently, and see that he too is awake. I sit cross-legged at the end of his bed.

"Couldn't sleep either?" he asks.

"Not knowing that by Wednesday evening I could be dead." I say.

"I'm not going to let that happen." He replies.

"Eli, you're not going to put yourself in danger for me. You still have your mother and father to come home to, they need you safe. If I die, then there's nobody left to miss me." I say.

"I'll miss you." He mumbles.

"You've done well enough without me for the last few years. And besides, you have the best chance of actually winning this thing." I tell him.

He brushes a group of loose curls away from my eyes. "Let's agree to disagree." He smiles.

We stay up and talk about all the things we did when we were younger. While our parents were at parties used to sneak out and make our own entertainment. We were so proud when we figured out how to trick the minder into thinking we were still at home. It was pretty easy back then, all it took was a few bottles of warm water hidden under the sheets to create a heat signature roughly my size and a cold shower to disguise mine long enough to escape. That was before they were all upgraded, of course, and before I was moved from our apartment a few streets from Elias to my tower.

We used to go to the small park a few streets away and have picnics made from mismatched items stolen from the cupboards. Crackers dipped in honey and chocolate pudding were always our favourite, although the flavours never quite worked it was the excitement that made it special. The more we talk the more I remember, until it seems absurd that the first thing I thought of when I saw him on the first day was of defence classes. Those days were only a tiny fraction of the ones we spent together, which seemed to have pushed themselves to the back of my mind.

Eventually we do fall asleep, and I wake up nestled against him. It is still only early, so I sneak back to my own room and go back to sleep as if I had never been gone. My last thought before I drift off is that I really hope I die first, because I couldn't bear to lose him again.


	4. Coaching

Some days it's the little things that keep me going, like the bluebird outside the window which used to call to me each morning back at home. I'm sure it's the same bird, the only one I've ever seen without the capitol tag on its mismatched legs. He has found me, and for a moment I wonder if it could possibly be a coincidence. The birds here don't talk and nor do they wear clothing like in my books, but there's something knowing in his eyes. 'Keep going' he says without speaking. Perhaps the stress is making me crazy, because the one thing the capitol lacks the most these days is magic.

I fall back into the same routine. Drag myself from my bed, go to the shower. Try to wake myself up with blasts of icy water, try to avoid the buttons which leave me smelling like a candle. One I'm dried I go back to my room and find the outfit already picked out for me. And on the bedside table somebody - presumably and avox - has placed a bouquet of flowers.

My first instinct is to remove all the roses and throw them straight out of the window. But I can't bear to do it, because only I know what those roses represent. They were my grandfather's way of punishing himself for my mother's death. Pinned to his jacket every day, the sickly smell screaming 'I let my Rosaline die'. It was a symbol that only he and I could understand, and it was probably the most misinterpreted message he ever sent.

At breakfast, Elias and I decide that we're going to be coached for the interviews separately so that we both have their full attention. I know that in truth it's just so we don't waste the whole session laughing at each other's failures. Katniss will stay with me for both sessions with Haymitch and Effie, and Peeta will stay with Eli. Neither of us wants to be alone with them, so I feel more than a little relieved. I will have my first four hour session with Effie, starting at 10.

"Well, this should be nice and easy this time. It's so nice having tributes from the capitol, you already know how not to act like savages." says Effie. I'm not sure I like this Effie woman, the way she acts so superior to the rest of us. I wonder if she has always been so rude, or if it is a recent development. Something makes me thing that the first is probably true.

We finish our breakfast of thick wedges of bread, bowls of fruit on ice and steaming mugs of hot chocolate. Katniss recommends dipping the bread in the hot chocolate, and I do. It's delicious. Another one of my happy little things to remember in the arena.

Luckily, Effie's training mainly includes wearing a dress and walking in heels which I've done plenty of times before. This is one of the things we learn when we are younger, how to walk gracefully and other silly social rules. It is considered part of the curriculum at school, although Elias and I were taught privately as with everything else. Effie seems impressed, but keeps making remarks to Katniss. "See, now _that_ is how a lady walks." She says. Eventually Katniss leaves, slamming the door behind her. "I wish the two of you would stop making my mentors leave. It simply isn't _polite_." I say, mimicking the voice my tutor used to use whenever I made the tiniest mistake. This seems to throw Effie, and beneath all of her makeup I see her blush. That should show her.

We finish earlier than expected; Effie doesn't have much left to say to me. I smile politely; sit up straight, us my hands to convey my point. The whole thing is one big act, something I have been doing my entire life.

I used to dream about leaving the capitol and living in the districts, long before I knew about the starvation and poverty and suffering. I always thought that I would like it so much better, to never have to dress up or be somebody I'm not. I'd fantasise about looking after all the animals with my father, the sun warm and gentle on my arms without being covered by those silly puffy gowns.

Once I am released kick of my heels and leave my dress on the floor behind me. I pull on a t-shirt and pants, and then go up to the roof as I know that it is the place I'll find Katniss. I'm right; she stands in her usual place overlooking the city.

"You're good at this." She says.

"I've had plenty of practice dealing with people like Effie" I say. "She means well, just like the others. They've just forgotten than real people have feelings."

"You still have to get through your session with Haymitch after lunch. Still, if you do this well with him perhaps it won't be so bad."

"I can deal with self-absorbed capitol residents, but I've never tried dealing with an alcoholic from twelve." I say.

"Don't worry. As long as you completely ignore everything he says and does, he's not so bad." says Katniss.

My stomach growls loudly, and Katniss laughs. "Come on, it's almost time for lunch anyway." She says.

We eat together, but as Elias and Haymitch still have an hour remaining of their session so they leave us and Peeta follows closely behind. Katniss and I are left with Cillian and Ana.

"We've been working non-stop on your look for tomorrow night. We're sure the two of you are going to love it!" says Ana. She seems so excited, so I give my broadest smile.

"I'm sure it will be amazing, I can't wait." I say. It's not exactly as if I'm lying, I'm sure it truly will be amazing. The problem is faking enthusiasm knowing that the day after the interviews is the day that we will be thrown into the arena and none of this will matter anymore.

There's a little time left to kill, so we go back to the sitting room. I remember seeing a checkers set in the cupboard earlier, so I go to retrieve it.

"Want to play?" I ask.

"I don't know how. I haven't exactly had time for games lately. You know, with the almost-dying thing."

"That's okay. Elias and I used to play all the time, but he would always beat me. You've got a pretty good chance." I say as I set up. It turns out I'm right. By the time the boys return to swap over, she has beaten me seven times out of ten. My only three victories were while I was still teaching her the rules.

"I told you that you're awful. Really, really awful. I mean, you literally just taught her how to play and she's beaten you seven-three." Elias laughs. I narrow my eyes and push out my bottom lip, attempting to look offended. It seems to have the opposite effect because it only increases the laughter, so I stick out my tongue and pull a face. I take a snapshot of this moment in my mind in order to save it for darker times to come.

"I'm glad you're all such good friends, why don't we have a nice little party and we can braid each other's hair." Haymitch snaps. "Now if you don't mind, I'd like to get our session started before I die of old age." He says.

"Spoilsport." Mutters Eli. Peeta tries to hide a laugh with a cough. Haymitch sighs and then shoes the boys out of the sitting room to meet Effie.

I sit in the chair opposite from them both, as they argue about what to do with me as if I wasn't in the room. After a few minutes, I clear my throat to get their attention. Eventually then begin by taking turns to ask me simple questions. I seem to do well enough at first, until Haymitch asks about my family.

"I can't tell him about my family, it's complicated." I say.

"You're going to have to, if you want them to feel like they know you. That's how you get them to care; you make them feel like you're more than just a face on a screen."

"Oh yeah? So what should I say? 'Well, Ceaser, when I was nine years old rebels broke into our apartment and murdered my mother. My father was from district eleven, until he was killed on my grandfather's orders for loving my mother. You met Coriolanus, didn't you? Lovely man. Kept me locked up in a tower for five years like bloody Rapunzel with nobody for company but the carers who were only there to make sure I didn't forget to eat or manage to escape.' The audience would just love that." I say. I realise that Katniss only knew part of this story; it was just Peeta who I had trusted.

"What's Rapunzel? It sounds like some kind of disease." says Haymitch. It's getting pretty late; he's probably already too drunk to care. We're not technically his responsibility, he can afford to do whatever he wants.

"Never mind, you're missing the point. What I'm saying is that I can't tell them anything about my life before the reaping."

"Melodie, you don't have to do anything you don't want to. I've seen you pretend plenty of times before, you can do it for me just this one last time and then it'll be over. You can be whoever you want, but I think you should be yourself. You're likable enough as you are." says Katniss. "Be sure to mention your father, but leave out what happened to him. Make something up, if you have to. Perhaps you'll get a little more support from eleven."

"What if they don't like me?" I ask.

"I'm sure they'll like you just fine. But if you find it hard to pretend, find somebody in the crowd who you truly like. That's what I did; I pretended that I was talking to Cinna. It makes it easier, I promise." she says.

At dinner Elias shows everyone his magic trick, making a coin disappear and then reappear out of nowhere. I play along pretending to be surprised, but in truth I've had it figured out for years. He seems so happy that I almost feel bad when he tries to show me how to do it and I manage perfectly the first time.

It takes all of my strength to stay in my own bed tonight, when I want nothing more than the warmth and security of him beside me. I know that it's going to be so much harder to lose each other in the arena the closer we become, I don't even know how I'll be able to say goodbye to my mentors in the launch room. Perhaps I should have stuck with the plan I had considered for weeks before the reaping, to blame everything on Katniss and refuse to interact with her. She did kill my last remaining family remember, after all. But I forgot all about that the day I saw her standing up on that stage, the genuine regret in her eyes as my name was called.

She's right; she and I are the same. We've both lost almost everybody we love. But the difference is that she gets to keep Peeta. But I have to lose Elias, or he has to lose me. I can only hope I have the strength to make the right choice when the time finally comes.


	5. Faking

I'm woken in the morning by the prep team, their excited faces and wild colours are painful to my eyes this early. I grab a handful of grapes from the bowl and eat them in the elevator, they're wonderfully sweet. I realise that I'm putting my final chance to gain sponsors in the hands of almost complete strangers, but then remember that they were once Katniss's team and she looked amazing during her interview. Once again, I have to blindly trust them and hope for the best.

They work on me for most of the day, my only reprieve being one short hour for lunch. I'm bathed in a pearly liquid which smells like lavender, and then the 'fun' finally begins.

I'm coated from head to toe in a powder which lightens me already pale skin to almost pure white. My lips are dyed blood red, Octavia glues on individual eyelashes until my own are full and tickle my cheek if I blink hard enough. She scolds me for doing so. My nails, too, are painted the same bright colour.

When I'm finished being painted and sprayed and dyed, they begin work on my hair. It is lightened even further to the same shade as my skin, which makes my features even more prominent. My already dark eyes appear as deep pools of brown against all the white. They somehow manage to straighten out my wild curls so that my hair hangs tamely around my shoulders. It is pinned and cut a few more times before the team finally seem pleased with their work. I thank them as they leave, and compliment them on their job. Not that I mean it of course, I look nothing like myself. But, as Katniss said, I must play my part convincingly. At least they gave me a little extra practice with seeming sweet even when all I want to do is run away and never look back. They've stolen all of my energy, and the worst is still yet to come tonight.

At last Cillian enters with the bag which contains my dress. I close my eyes while he unzips it, and allow him to slide it over my body. I gasp as the image is complete and I finally realise what they were aiming for, and what they most certainly have hit.

The dress is made almost entirely out of tiny crystals embedded into the silk; they refract the white glow from my skin which creates the illusion of pure white snow falling continually. I am the exact opposite of Katniss, she is fire and I am ice. I hold out my lace-clad arms and turn around slowly, admiring the way the snowfall moves with my body. It's truly beautiful; I can barely tear my eyes away from the glistening to thank him. The material is so light that I don't have to lift it up as I take the few steps I require to pull him into a hug. He's caught of guard and stumbles a little with the momentum, but regains his balance and returns the gesture.

"You really like it? I wasn't sure, after my brother's work over the last few years, I didn't know if..." he starts.

"I love it. It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen." I say, cutting him off. I know it isn't polite, but he doesn't seem to care.

"Oh, I almost forgot!" He says, and disappears back out of the room. He comes back a few moments later holding a box. He asks me to sit down and close my eyes. I comply.

I feel him help me into my shoes; I hadn't even noticed that I was barefoot. He asks me to open my eyes, and I barely know what to say. "Glass slippers!" I exclaim. Every part of my life seems to remind me of a fairytale these days, although mine is likely to end with a death that cannot be reversed by something as simple as a kiss.

"No, they're just a good imitation. We wouldn't want real glass, otherwise they could shatter and then I'd be in a heap of trouble. It'd be pretty hard to replace you at this point, and you wouldn't get very far in the arena without feet." he says.

"Close enough. They're wonderful, Cillian, they really are." I say.

We meet the others in the elevator and Effie is full of praise for our stylists. Some aspects of my outfit are present in Eli's outfit, but we are not dressed alike. We decided this morning that although we have been seen eating together at lunch during training, we have retained enough distance in public to not appear as decided allies. We want them to think that we're only sometimes together because we're representing the same district, so that they do not suspect that we will be acting as a team for at least a portion of the games. We're safer that way; we can look out for each other.

"You look beautiful." says Katniss.

"And nothing like myself." I reply. This seems to throw her, but I don't have time to wonder why. The elevator opens, and the other tributes are already being lined up to take to the stage. All twenty-four of us with sit in a big arc throughout the show, I'll be called second to last as the girl tribute always precedes the boy tribute representing each district.

I begin my act again as I step onto the stage and take my seat beside Elias. I try to remember all of my lessons. I sit up straight, cross my ankles not my legs. Evening is falling, but it would still be bright if it wasn't for that single cloud blocking most of the light. There is almost completely still, it will take a while for it to drift fully out of the way.

The interviews begin, each one lasting for three minutes before the buzzer sounds. The audience is filled with both capitol and district residents. Perhaps they were chosen by some kind of lottery or at random, although they are still instantly distinguishable from the capitol residents the people from the districts seem to have been cleaned up and dressed especially for today.

Ceaser Flickerman enters the stage, his hair, eyes and lips painted dark purple so that to me he just looks like a bruise. His suit remains unchanged, as does his entire appearance. It's not so uncommon here; if you're rich enough they can do pretty much anything.

I zone out after the first few interviews, concentrating on a spot in the distance just behind the crowd's heads. The tributes from before me all have an angle as always. The boy representing one is hungry for blood. The girl representing two is mysterious. And so on. When it gets to my turn I fail to notice the buzzer sound, and Elias has to nudge my leg before I realise what's going on. Luckily I recover quickly and rise with the intended grace.

I take Caesar's outstretched hand shake it, and the cloud finally moves out of the way of the sun. The light catches my dress, and the thousands of tiny gems throw snowflake-sized flecks of light across the stage. The audience gasp and I make a point of finding Cillian in the crowd and enjoy on his face at the crowd's reaction.

"Ladies and gentlemen, we've had plenty of fire on this show thanks to our friend Miss Everdeen, and now we have Melodie Snow herself! Aren't we lucky." He says, and the audience can't help but be caught up in his enthusiasm. This man could charm pretty much anyone, even some of the district residents join in with the cheering.

"Now Melodie, you must have been through a lot over the past few months. Tell us how you felt meeting your mentors for the first time. It must have been hard, considering the past events." He says.

"I couldn't possibly been taught by anyone better, after all they've done this twice before. They've been such an inspiration; they truly are an amazing couple." I say. "I don't blame them for anything which happened in the past, we all know that they did what had to be done. Something had to change, and we're all better for it." I answer dreamily, and pretend I'm somewhere far away.

"That's a very mature attitude to have, Melodie, especially in a situation like this. Tell us, were you and your grandfather close?" he asks gently.

"No we weren't close; in fact I didn't know him very well at all. My mother liked to stay out of the public eye, so we stayed out of the way most of the time. It was nice, just the two of us." At least that wasn't a complete lie, it was nice at first. I keep my features soft, relaxed.

"And your father?" he asks.

"He was from district eleven. My mother was going to move there so that they could be together, but there was an accident soon after she found out that she was pregnant. We never got to meet, unfortunately, but I know they both watch over me from wherever they are now." I say. That one is almost completely made up, but it seems to have the crowd's attention. Especially a small group towards the back, perhaps they are from eleven too.

He leads the crowd in a sympathetic noise. "So, what will you miss most in the arena?" he asks.

"My kitten, Dinah. I could hardly bear to leave her, but they don't allow pets in the arena." I say. Again total lie, taken from the book about Alice. I hate cats, but they're fashionable in the capitol this year. It's relatable.

"Well, isn't that sweet?" the audience agrees. That's my angle, then. Sweet, harmless Melodie Snow who likes kittens and sparkly dresses. I suppose that should quell their fears about me being like my Grandfather for a little while. The fact that he has not mentioned my score in training confirms my thoughts; he can't ask me to explain if it was not truly earned.

He runs through a few more questions and I make up answers until lying becomes fluidly. They're not exactly going to check my answers for the sake of disproving them. Eventually the buzzer sounds and I smile and thank him and then drift away back to my seat.

Elias's interview goes perfectly; he counters every joke and comment quickly and has the audience's attention from the start. He's naturally good at this kind of thing, putting people at ease. Just like Peeta. He tells Ceaser about how much he's going to miss the capitol, and to everyone else it sounds as if he means just while in the arena. But I know by the sad edge in his voice that he doesn't intend to return.

The anthem plays and we're allowed to leave. It's a huge relief to get back to our floor once the interviews are over; I take of my clothing carefully and fold them carefully on the bed. They're so pretty that I couldn't bear to let them break. I allow the shower to wash away all of my makeup, I'm pleased to find that the white hair dye was only temporary and it soon returns back to pale blonde. I pull of my fake eyelashes although it makes my eyes water painfully, and stay there until the ghost of the girl on that stage is removed. She is not me; she's simply a character I'm playing. Tomorrow we will enter the arena, and the curtains will be closed on my final performance.

When I come back to my bedroom the clothing is gone, so I throw myself down on the bed and sigh. I'm never going to be able to sleep tonight. I dress for dinner, eager to get back to what has become normality one last time.

I find Elias in the sitting room. I sit down next to him and he pulls me closer to him and I rest my head on his chest. He's barely even one year older than me, but has always been so much larger. All arms and legs yet with none of the clumsiness which usually accompanies them. It's a shame I'll never get to see how to turns out, how the slight awkwardness of his teenage years even out into something even more beautiful. I'd rather stay here all night, but Katniss is calling for dinner and the smell is so enticing that we instantly untangle ourselves and head for the dining room.

We're congratulated on our performances, although they know it was only me who was acting. It's a good job that Eli is naturally charming, because he never was very good at pretending when we were younger. I'd try to get him to play games with me, but he could never imagine anything that wasn't there. I'd pour him imaginary tea from my pot and he would simply look at it and laugh 'But Mel, its empty!'

That was the point at which our picnics started; he always said he liked real juice much more than air. It took me a while to figure out he wasn't just trying to ruin my game; he genuinely couldn't perceive anything which was not in front of him. He was strange like that, full of little quirks. Just like that magic trick with the coin, he spent most of his birthday party trying to convince the entertainer to show him how it worked because he couldn't enjoy the mystery. As always, he talked the man into giving away his secrets. He did the same with me over the years which followed.

We finish our dinner and then watch the recap of the interviews. And there I am on the stage, throwing light over the audience and drifting like a lost cloud. Elias is charming as always, receiving the loudest applause. Many are only mildly interesting, playing mainly to the capitol audience. Three tributes talk almost solely about clothing; the girl representing six identifies 'Buying new wigs' as the thing she'll miss most. We stand out from the rest, but I begin to think perhaps I could have gotten away with telling them feigning the same interest in all of that shallow nonsense. Afterwards we stand up to go to bed, Katniss and Peeta pull Elias and I into a hug.

"It's going to be hard, but you need to try to get some sleep. Every extra moment of exhaustion in the arena is another moment that your judgement will be impaired."

We say goodnight to Effie and Haymitch then go back to our own rooms. After lying for two hours without success, Katniss knocks and then comes into my room.

"Peeta and I were prescribed these for the nightmares. They make you pretty drowsy, take them quickly." She tells me, placing two tiny white pills in my hand.

"Nightmares?" I ask.

"Shh, just take them. They'll make everything better." she whispers

I do as she says, and instantly feel sleepy. I feel her tuck me into bed just like my mother used to, and I slip easily and dreamlessly into sleep.


	6. Panic

Cillian wakes me up before first light, and gives me a simple t-shirt and pants to wear. Once I'm dressed he leads me up to the roof where a hovercraft silently appears. I want to see Eli, but he's probably with Ana. I reach for the ladder and brace myself. I hate the feeling of being frozen to them, I'm completely helpless. The man in white injects the tracker into my arm so they can find me in the arena. The ladder retracts and I'm helped inside once it releases me. An avox directs me to the dining room where breakfast is laid out for us.

I'm not hungry, but I know how hard food is to find in the arena so I load up my plate with thick wedges of bread and chocolate paste, and take a small pot of honey. It reminds me of those days in the park.

The journey lasts around an hour so I stare out of the window at the mass of green below until the windows fade to black and I knew we're almost there. It feels like somebody has reached into my stomach and twisted their fist, growing tighter as the moments pass. I'm told to grab the ladder as we're deposited in the catacombs under the arena.

Cillian tells me to shower so do as I am told, turning the heat up as high as it will go until the thick steam fills the room. I take deep breaths and try to steady my nerves. I stay so long that soon Cillian is knocking at the door to see if I'm okay. I call back in a shaky voice and wrap myself in the soft robe.

Cillian covers my hair in some kind of serum which allows it to dry completely straight. It is instantly more manageable. He pins it back from my hair in a simple twist and leaves to bring me my clothes for the last time.

He returns with a black t-shirt, matching tight pants and boots which fasten up to the knee. I dress quickly and Cillian helps me into a thin grey jacket. My hands are shaking so I struggle to lace up my boots. He kneels down to lace them for me as if I was a small child. That's what I am at this moment; helpless and desperate.

There's a little time left so we sit on the sofa in silence. He slides his hand into mine for comfort and I leave it there. His kind eyes remind me of Elias, I force a smile but it only lasts for a fraction of a second before my face falls once again. My fear blossoms into terror as the minutes pass. I could be dead within the hour. Elias could be dead by the end of the day. Even worse, I could still be alive by the end of the games and then Katniss will have to face Coin's punishment. I can't decide which I fear most.

Katniss walks in and straight to me. She's not supposed to be here, I can tell by Cillian's nervous look.

"I needed to tell you one last time how sorry I am. I really didn't think this far ahead. Why couldn't you have just been awful and hate me like I expected?" she says with a half-smile. She's joking, but it is a point I have considered a thousand times. If I had been able to dislike her then I would not feel so attached to her. I could blame her for where I am and she could blame me for what my grandfather did and the goodbyes would have been easy.

"I want you to have this. I only just got it cleared by the gamemakers otherwise I would have given it to you sooner. They were suspicious as to why you would want it." She says, opening her outstretched palm. It is a piece of blue ribbon.

"This belonged to my sister, prim." She says.

"Katniss, I can't. I know how much her things mean to you, I couldn't..." I begin, but she cuts me off.

"I'm giving this to you because you know how much it means. This way you'll have to survive, because that's the only way you could give it back. I know you'll keep it safe until we meet again." She says, the words tripping over each other in a rush. She's getting desperate; keeping me alive is the only way to numb her guilt. I take it from her a tie it around my ankle, safe beneath my sock. Her eyes linger on mine then drop to the floor. I do not have the energy to comfort her; it is I who will soon be dead.

Perhaps they will give it back to her when they retrieve my body, because I do not intend to win.

The three of us sit and I sip water until the voice announces that it is time for the launch.

I walk over to the circular metal plate. Katniss and Cillian force identical smiles. "Remember, don't stay for the bloodbath. If there's something close enough, grab it but then don't stop running until you're well away from them all. Go to the nearest water source, keep it near. Dehydration is painful and it will make you weak. Elias will try to keep up but don't be surprised if it takes a while for him to find you. We don't want them thinking you're allies just yet." She says.

"Good luck." Cillian says one last time before the glass cylinder lowers.

"Be brave." Katniss mimes as the cylinder begins to rise. The sudden change in light dazzles me for a moment; the smell of burning surrounds me. Claudius Templesmith's familiar voice booms around me. "Ladies and gentlemen, let the final hunger games begin!"


	7. Gone

I use the sixty seconds that we are required to stand on the metal plate to take in our surroundings. The sky is grey and overcast, the ground smokes gently all around us. I look around my opponents, finding Elias among them. He gives me a subtle wink which could easily have been a twitch, but I know otherwise.

We're on a stretch of land made up of tightly packed dirt, the cornucopia in the centre overflowing with the things that could be the difference between life and death. Katniss said not to take risks, but if I'm going to keep Elias alive we'll need supplies. As far as I can see there's nothing but sparse land, scattered craters in the ground are the only disturbance of the solid brown. There's a sign outside of a crumbling building which says "RADIATION HAZARD. NO ACCESS BEYOND THIS POINT" I'm processing this as the gong sounds so don't have time to figure out if that should be my biggest worry. The others seem to all have the same plan; they grab the nearest item and begin to run. There are so many things that could help us, so I lurch forward and run towards the cornucopia. Only a few tributes remain, I decide to take my chances with them. I fix my eyes on something shining near the centre and reach out for it. It's a belt with six throwing knives slotted into the holders. I manage to grab a grey backpack and stuff inside an empty bottle and a handful of dried noodle packets before the first arrow is propelled past my head, embedding it's self in a bag beside me which leaks grey powder steadily.

I turn to find my attacker, but see everyone except Elias locked in combat. He's screaming at me to run, to leave it alone. I turn and ignore him; I'm not in any immediate danger as far as I can see. I continue to grab items and stuff them into the bag. I get a bottle of red pills, a flint and steel and another bottle, this one half filled with a suspicious silvery liquid. By the time the second arrow comes, I realise that it is Elias who is sending them. He's wasting them, to be precise. He's a good shot, but he's not trying to kill me. He wants my attention. I decide that that it enough danger for now and run towards him, throwing the bag over my shoulder. We run as fast as we can, Elias drops every now and again to pick up objects dropped by fleeing tributes. After a few minutes I begin to see the scene change from cratered dirt to land covered by a thick layer of grey-black. We're soon on the outskirts of some kind of large town, or what used to be. It is only when we draw closer that I realise where we are. Although much smaller than in real life, we are in one of the districts. Or what used to be, that is.

Elias and I slow to a walk as we take in our surroundings. The blackened houses are all but obliterated; bodies lie strewn in the streets. The mixture of the smell of burning flesh and decay make me feel nauseous and I begin to feel like I may lose my breakfast if we don't get away quickly. We follow the path, stepping over the faceless masses as we keep to the path. They're much thinner than I have ever seen, some of them children so tiny that I'm sure even with all of their limbs they wouldn't way much more than a capital child half their age. I force myself to swallow hard; I must keep my food inside if I'm going to be any help to Elias. I don't know when my next meal will come and the sooner I starve, the sooner he will be alone.

The path leads to a short street containing twelve perfect, large houses untouched by the layer of black dust which covers everything else in sight. I reach out for a nearest door; Elias grabs my wrist and drags it backwards.

"What are you doing?" I shout, rubbing the soft red mark where his hand had been.

"Shush, you're going to get us killed. First that stupid act at the cornucopia and now you're just going to walk into what could easily be a trap. Why else would they make such obvious shelters?" he says.

"Maybe everyone else had the same idea. There might be something in there that could help us. If you're scared, stay outside and keep watch." I say.

"And leave you to face whatever's in there? No chance." He says.

"Fine, just stay quiet." I say. I feel bad for speaking like this to him, but I have finally decided on my plan. If he is determined to protect me, then I'm not letting him get any more attached than he is. I never should have acted the way I did, I should have ignored them all and then he might have forgotten all about our friendship. Eventually he will realise that I'm not being careful and he's safer alone. Not until I've helped him a little, though. Too much at once and he'll figure out my plan right away. Gradually, slowly I will allow him to hate me. I am responsible for his brother's death, after all.

We decide to try the doors, but we will not force them open. Too much noise will draw attention to us. The first eleven are locked, the last we come to is large and white. The glass door swings open easily at the touch of my palm, leading into a long hallway. We step in slowly, entering the first room we come to. It is a comfortable looking sitting room, the plush chairs and thick rugs suggest wealth. It is different to the fashions of the capitol, but reminds me of some of the older bedrooms in the president's mansion where I had stayed when I was younger.

Something catches my eye right away, a single photograph on top of the marble fireplace. I take it down and examine it carefully; Elias stands in the doorframe looking nervous. I'm wasting time, but I'm too curious to walk away. There's a handsome man holding hands with a young girl who looks just like him, her hair in two long braids. The young blonde woman carries a baby; the look of contentment on her face is obvious. It's probably the only genuine expression I've seen in days among the forced smiles and sympathetic eyes of those who intend to bet on us.

"Come on Mel, there's nothing in here we can use." Elias whispers, gesturing for me to follow him. The next room we come to is the kitchen; it's large and shiny and looks like it has barely been used. We go straight for the cupboards and look for food, but find that they are bare. I close the cupboard door a little too hard, the slam echoes. I notice the light footprints on the tiles which suggest that somebody else has already beaten us here. The mutter of voices upstairs and the soft padding of feet above us confirm my thoughts. They're coming.

I run for the back door which leads out to the garden, but it too is locked. I desperately search for somewhere else to hide, but we won't fit in the cupboards and we're running out of time. Our only option is to go back the way we came, to pass the staircase and be ready to fight if it comes to it.

We run for the door, Elias a few steps in front of me. They're on the stairs, I can't take any chances. I turn to face them and find a boy around my age halfway down the stairs and a girl standing at the top. He reaches for something behind his back, but I'm faster. I dislodge the knife from my belt and throw it. I hear her scream as it hits him in the chest. I can't be sure because I'm running again before I can think, but I'm pretty sure it hit somewhere fatal as the sound of his body tumbling down the remaining stairs echoes in my ears along with the pounding of my own blood. I keep running until I catch up with Elias, we don't stop until we seem to moving to the outskirts of the district. Their fence is not electrified, I climb through a gap near the bottom. The cannon sounds once, the bloodbath must still be ongoing. It is for the boy, I'm sure of it. Elias stops suddenly, his face blank.

"What the hell was that, Melodie?" he asks quietly.

"That was survival. He was reaching for his weapon, so I did too. This is the games, Eli. We can't just hope that everything turns out alright through sheer luck. I'm not Katniss, if I need to kill then I will." I say. I try to keep my voice steady, he has to believe me. "We have to keep moving, we need to find water." I say, as if I hadn't just killed somebody's son or brother or boyfriend. It is not the first time that my actions have ended a life, and it won't be the last.

"This isn't you, Mel, so don't pretend it is. I know you." He says as we walk.

"No. You knew me, there's a difference. You knew me when we were young, when we were just children. I'm not her." I say.

"Yes you are. I've seen you the last few days; you're as much my Melodie as you have ever been. You're the Melodie who cried when you hurt me although I had forgiven you a hundred times over. You're the Melodie who couldn't sleep for days when we couldn't save that bird that flew into my window. You're not a killer, so don't pretend to be." He says.

"Come on, Eli. We were five years old. You know who my family were, it's in my blood." I mutter.

"You don't really expect me to believe that, do you? I knew who your grandfather was, but your mother was a good person. You're like Rosaline, not him." He says. He's getting upset now; he's determined to make me see.

"Just drop it, okay? Arguing isn't going to resurrect him. What's done is done." I say. The landscape is again beginning to change; slowly the black-covered destruction and the faceless bodies begin to become fewer and further between. We must have been given just a section, because I know from studying them that the districts are far larger with further between them than this. In the distance I can see what seems to be farm land. We come to a fence, at least thirty feet high and by the soft buzzing I can tell it is turned on.

"We'll walk around the outside and look for a fault. There would be no point of putting it here if we can't get in." says Elias. I nod silently. We walk the perimeter; the first thing we pass is an orchard. From here I can tell that the fruit is rotten and brown. We carry on along the outskirts, passing field after field of decaying or otherwise destroyed crops. There's nothing here for us to eat safely.

"I'm sure that house back there was meant to be Katniss's, the woman in the photograph looked like her mother when she did the live interviews. The man looked just like Katniss, so I guess the baby was her sister." I say. Another way of threatening her, displaying her private home for the whole of Panem to see. District twelve. I've been thinking about it for most of the journey, there's no other explanation. She is a victor; I heard that her village survived the bombings.

"Yeah, probably." He replies. He's angry at me for killing the boy. I forgot that he does not know the things which Katniss told me, he does not know about Coin's plans. To me, this is a warning to remind her who is in control. To him, it is simply a chance event. One house was chosen, it happened to be hers. I don't tell him otherwise. I know they are listening.

We finally come to a gap in the fence just large enough to squeeze through, but there's the risk of bumping into the metal which is still buzzing.

"Maybe we should move on. It's not worth the risk." says Eli.

"It will be dark soon; it's too dangerous to walk through the night. We need to find somewhere to rest." I say

"Fine, but be careful. You've been in enough danger for one day." He replies. I twist my body through the gap easily; I'm a lot smaller than he is. His limbs do not tuck up as readily, he loses his usual grace for a moment and stumbles through. I grab his hand to steady him, feel his pulse racing in the moment of fear.

"We have to be careful from now on. If this is the only way out, we're trapped if others come." He says, catching his breath. I catch myself smiling and make myself stop.

We walk through the lane between two fields, parched ground on one side and long, overgrown grass on the other. We continue on until we get to the centre where the houses begin. They're small and square, falling apart in places. I can't imagine what it must have been like for my father living here; they seem to provide barely any protection from the outside. We decide not to go into any of the houses after last time.

We continue until we reach the other side of the houses, we finally come to a field which is not as bare as the others. One tree in the entire orchard still bares unspoiled fruit. I walk straight towards it, but Elias holds me back. Again. He's doing that a lot today.

"Oh what now? What could possibly be dangerous about a tree?" I ask.

"Don't you think it's suspicious that everything else is dead, yet this one is untouched?" He asks.

"Fine, let's just try to find somewhere to sleep." I say. The sky is pink like burned skin; I don't want to be caught in the dark without shelter. The air is warm, but I assume it won't stay this way. We didn't manage to get any kind of sleeping bag or blanket from the cornucopia, we need to find shelter.

We walk for a few more minutes until we find a small red barn. It's empty, but the hayloft is partially filled. There's a trough in the corner filled with water, it looks clean enough so I fill up the large empty bottle. "Come on, climb up. If it gets cold, we can use this as insulation." says Elias.

"Will that work?" I ask.

"It worked for Tilly." he says. He begged so hard for that rabbit that his mother gave in, but bought him a hairless breed with lilac skin. We had to fill the hutch up with as much hay as we could just so the poor thing didn't freeze to death went winter came. It survived, so I decide to trust him. I climb the ladder carefully, the wood creaks underneath my weight. Eli waits until I reach the top. The wood groans even more under him, I find myself worrying that the rungs might break.

I can see through the tiny window that night has finally fallen, although it was light only moments ago. The Gamemakers control day and night, so I can't be sure what time it really is. I'm exhausted already, so I find a comfortable place to sit on the bales. I begin to unpack the backpack as I realise I have not had a chance to examine our collection yet.

I still have five blades in the knife belt, the last is probably still inside the boy. I recall his name from training. Tristan, I think it was. The girl behind him must have been his sister, Felicity. Their parents must have done something really extreme to have both children reaped. The bottle of red pills is unmarked, but they look like the antibiotics that we used to be given to stop infection from cuts. Capitol residents are terrified of any kind of disease; poor health is a sign of poverty. There's the bottle with the suspicious silvery liquid, six packets of dried noodles and some bandages I picked up while running from the cornucopia.

Elias reveals a short serrated knife which had been tucked in his waistband, a small catapult and two bags of dried meat. We haven't eaten or drunk anything since the launch room; it only occurs to me how hungry I am. He lost his bow and arrows while running, but it's a good enough haul.

"We can't risk fire to cook the noodles. If we eat half the meat tonight, we can save the fruit for breakfast and hope we find food tomorrow." He says. I agree and he passes me a bag of the meat which I guess to be bovine but I can't be sure. In the capitol we can afford to be fussy, tonight I'm just glad we have anything to eat at all. The risk at the cornucopia was worth it, I can't imagine how I would feel if I had to go to bed hungry tonight after the exhaustion of the day.

I hear the anthem play just as I take my first bite of the salty meat, and realise that the cannons did not announce how many died at the cornucopia earlier in the day. They must be planning to do that now instead, or perhaps they have only just moved away from the bodies. Through the small window I see the capitol seal which seems to be floating in the sky. The sky goes black for a moment as the anthem ends. I wouldn't usually be watching the games back home; I only watched parts of the 74th and 75th games because I was curious about why my grandfather was so interested in Katniss.

The first to appear is the male representing district two. Next is the female tribute that got the lowest score in training. Her name was Isaura, the first to be reaped. Now the girl representing nine stares down at me from the night sky. The final face is the boy I killed. Tristan's face in the headshot used for training scores is strong and kind. He was protecting his sister, I can see that now. I panicked, but I don't have the energy to regret it now. I tuck it away to deal with later.

Just four died today, far fewer than in other years. That leaves eighteen tributes and myself to deal with before Elias can win. If the games carry on this way the Gamemakers will be forced to make it more interesting. We can't have a dull Hunger Games, that's the worst thing that could happen in the capitol. They're not desperate enough yet, but soon those who are used to three square meals a day will realise the importance of playing by the rules. Death is necessary for survival. Until then, however, we have to be careful. Coin could burn down this barn right now with us inside if she wanted to. The capitol seal is shown once more and then fades out with a musical flourish.

Elias takes a drink from the bottle then chooses a new place in the loose hay and curls up. "Goodnight, Mel." he whispers. I take my place a few feet away.

"Goodnight, Eli." I reply. I wish I could allow myself to curl up beside him, but then the day's work would be undone. This act is hurting both of us, but if it makes it easier for him to let me die then it will be worth it. I roll over and face away from him, and fall easily into sleep.


	8. Remember

When I awaken it is still dark. There's somebody outside the barn. I hear muffled crying, it's a girl. There's light flickering from outside, she has some kind of torch. If I stay right here she may never know where I am, but if she does see us we will be trapped and she is drawing attention to us with that flame. I'm still feeling reckless, so I take Eli's ridged blade and begin to climb down the ladder to investigate. The wood creaks, but Elias does not stir. The crying stops. Perhaps she has heard me.

I creep through the door to the barn which is slightly ajar. I took off my boots before I fell asleep; I feel the cool dirt underneath my feet. The jacket reflects back some warmth but the breeze on my face is icy. Elias was right about the hay. The girl is behind the barn, she doesn't see me at first but I step on a twig alerting her to my presence. It's the girl from the stairs; its Tristan's sister.

"You." She hisses, her face blazing with rage. She drops the torch and lunges for me, her hands reaching out for my throat. I react the only way I know how to, twisting my body so she misses. She tries a few more times, growing angrier each time she misses. She reaches for her blade, thrusting it clumsily in my direction. This is getting dangerous, I have to take action. I pull out the knife in an attempt to keep her at bay, but she lunges anyway. I feel the warmth of her blood pouring down my hand as the blade pushes further into her lower abdomen. A look of surprise is fixed on her face as I pull out the blade and she falls to the ground. It's going to take a long time for her to die if I leave her this way but I can't heal it.

I kneel down beside her head as her tears begin to fall. "I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry Felicity. It was an accident; I'm going to make it stop. Just hold on." I whisper. I pull her up slightly, lock my hands around her head and twist the way that the defence instructor taught us, warning that it was only for the most dangerous situations such as capture by rebels. I'm relieved that it works; I couldn't bear to witness her pain any longer. I can't decide if that makes me merciful or a coward. I should have to see what I have done, but at least now she is at peace. I have stolen both children from a single family all in the space of a few hours. Perhaps I am like my grandfather after all.

I move away from the body, a few metres from the front of the barn. The cannon sounds and the hovercraft appear to collect the body. I watch as her limp form is propelled upwards. Her family will receive two coffins soon at my hands.

I wipe away the tears with my sleeve and return to the barn. The cannon shot has woken Elias, he looks at me from the hayloft with a mixture of shock and disgust. He knows it was me, he can tell. He can always tell. I can see him deciding what to do as the moments pass. Stay with me, who has killed two people in less than twenty four hours and acts like she hates him or leave the his childhood friend. I see him decide on the former. Even after all of that, he won't give up. I begin to climb the ladder, and Eli pulls me into him as I reach the top. I weep into his warmth. I'm ruining everything. We're going to be heard, he's going to forgive me. I don't know what to do, my plan is awful and proving hard to stick to. I give in and curl up into him, his body pressed against my back. For the first time since the reaping, I feel safe. I will find a way to get my plan back on track tomorrow. I cry myself out, Eli's hand stroking my hair until I fall asleep.

When I awake once more, the barn is flooded with light and I am alone. I reach out to search for Elias but the path where he once lay is now cold as if he had never been there at all. I go to my backpack and find items missing – he has taken half. He has abandoned me. Although this was my plan, I can't help but feel hurt.

I eat my bag of fruit and take a sip from the water bottle before packing away my remaining items and climbing down the ladder. I refill at the trough, I can't be sure how long it will be until the next opportunity. I decide to take my chances with that tree, the round red fruit looked too good to avoid and it's only a few minute's walk away. I follow the dusty path through the decaying fields until I come to the one survivor.

The branches bearing fruit are a little too high for me to reach so I wrap my arms around the trunk and attempt to climb. It's been so long since the last time that it takes me a few attempts to gain enough grip. I manage to wrap my hand around one of the fruits before I fall. I shine it with my sleeve. Could it really be dangerous? It try to recall Katniss's little book as I drag myself to my feet and brush off the dust. I don't remember the name, but I'm sure she said they were okay to eat.

I take a bite, the thick sweet liquid drips across my chin. After the lack of food yesterday, it's the best thing I have ever eaten. I'm just about to take my second bite when a hand locks around my wrist. A large form wearing a white uniform stands before me, his grasp tightening. The capitol seal is displayed on his visor. A Peacekeeper. "What are you doing?" I scream at him as I try to break free of his grasp.

"Stealing is punishable by death." booms the deep, harsh voice. He begins to drag me, I dig my feet into the dirt but I'm powerless. He's at least eight feet tall and twice as large as normal humans. "Eli!" I begin to scream, but I'm letting other tributes know where I am so I force myself to be quiet.

We draw closer to the centre of the village. There's a cross in the centre of a raised platform. I'm dragged kicking onto it. He removes my jacket then ties my hands with thick, ragged rope so I'm spread out in a T-shape.

I begin to think my heart might jump out of my chest when I see the long, thin object in his hand. I know what that is for; I brace myself as the first hit comes. The sensation is like a million bee stings all at once. I press my tongue against the roof of my mouth to stifle the scream. It doesn't work; the sound just comes out guttural and thick. Six more blows come before there's a flash of blinding light and I'm floating.

When I awake, the sky is already growing darker and the rain is beginning. For those who have not yet found water, this will be their salvation. I'm no longer tied up; I'm inside one of the leaky shacks. Another drop of water lands on my face, rolling down the side of my cheek. I've been laid on my stomach, my head turned to face the door.

"You're finally awake." says a smooth male voice. I jump, I thought I was alone. I try to move, but the pain overwhelms me and I fall back into place. It's probably just as well; I don't seem to be wearing a shirt.

"Who's there?" I squeak. This is it, I'm going to die. It would be so easy for them to kill me; I probably couldn't be more vulnerable if I tried. My entire back is exposed and I can't move to fight back. All it would take is a few quick blows of something heavy or a good knife to an artery.

"Stay still or it won't work." says the voice.

"What are you talking about? What are you doing to me? Who are you?" I ask.

"Quit it with the questions, one at a time." says the voice. I hear shuffling then he walks to the other side of the room where I can see him. He sits a few feet from my head and crosses his legs.

"The silvery stuff in your backpack. It's a serum for healing skin. If you don't stay still, it won't set right and you'll be stuck with bumpy scars." He says.

"Don't you think that's the least of my worries? Why am I still alive?" I ask. I'm getting impatient now. I'm cold and tired and hungry, and the pain is driving me insane.

"You really don't remember me, do you?" he asks. I take a moment to take in his face. His skin is tanned in places as if he spends a lot of time in the sun, but he's here which means he's from the capitol. The two don't go together. His eyes are that shade of blue which suggests they have been altered cosmetically, but his dark hair hangs in a way that has not been fashionable in the capitol for years. His face is vaguely familiar, but I can't be sure.

"You seriously don't remember me? Wow. We practically shared a crib." He says.

I don't know how he expected me to recognise him; we knew each other long before I met Eli. Our mothers were friends; his father was part of my mother's guard whenever she was away from the capitol. The night the rebels killed her, his father was the only guard on patrol in our street to survive. The last night I was truly home.

"Ezra!" I exclaim. He looks so different, the last time we met he was short for his age with dark red hair and freckles. Surgery can do a lot if you can pay for it.

"I knew you'd get it in the end. But try to be a little quieter; you're going to upset the neighbours." He says. I'm confused for a moment until I see the corner of his mouth twitch. He's joking.

"This is no time for kidding around. This is dangerous; you should have left me there. I need to get moving, how long until I can move?" I ask.

"You should be able to sit up now, but be careful or I'll have to start all over again and it's not as easy when you're conscious." He says. I try to pull myself up again, the pain has subsided but only slightly. I find a comfortable position to sit in, and find Ezra's eyes closed. I realise why and feel intense heat in my cheeks. I'm still not wearing a shirt. I curse and giggle nervously. I don't know why, I'm not five anymore.

"Your jacket is in your backpack. Put it on backwards, that way it won't upset the reforming skin." He says. I do as he says, I look ridiculous but at least I'm covered up now.

"Are you going to tell me why I'm still alive now?" I ask.

"I searched your stuff while you were tied up. I was going to take the skin serum for this," he says, pulling the corner of his shirt up to reveal a deep, ragged hole, "and it didn't feel right taking it while you were unconscious. Besides, we were friends a long time ago. I thought if I helped you, you would help me apply it. I can't stay still and do it by myself." He says.

"Oh grow up, friendship means nothing out here. It's kill or be killed." I say. I've thought it so many times in the last two days I'm starting to believe it.

"So you're not going to help? I guess by your logic that means I should kill you now before you're strong enough to do the same to me." He says. He has a point. I can't refuse and be safe.

"Fine, I'll help. But after that, we go our separate ways." I say. He smiles in victory and removes his shirt. The black must have been concealing the blood, it's much worse that it initially looked. I wonder if this is a good time to mention that I really, really hate blood.

I take out my water bottle and clean the wound. It's raining; I can afford to spare some now. I wonder how Eli is now, without the bottle it's going to be hard to collect water. I push him out of my thoughts. I need to concentrate. Ezra lies on his back, resting his head on a folded blanket. I take out the silvery liquid and pour carefully into the wound. I see his eyes squeeze closed in pain, but he stays still. It takes me a few minutes to fill the entire wound as ragged flesh still remains.

"A bird did that, you know. Twenty three desperate tributes that could have killed me and I manage to get attacked by a bird. It was a great big thing; I only wanted one of her eggs." He says. I don't reply. I'm not here to reinstate friendships. I've made that mistake too many times already.

"Fine, you're not much of a talker these days. I get it. I'm just trying to take our minds off the pain." He says.

"Yeah? Well I'm just trying to get this over with so I can start walking again." I say.

"Oh come on, it's almost night and it's raining. You'll freeze to death. You're shivering already" He says. I hadn't noticed but he does have a point. He has a blanket and valuable body warmth.

"Fine, but just this one night. If you promise not to kill me in my sleep, then I'll take first watch." I say. The sky is growing dark; most of today has been wasted. First I slept late, and then I got myself beaten unconscious. Ezra agrees just as the capitol seal appears in the sky and the anthem plays. The first face to appear is a young boy who looks no older than twelve. He probably just became reaping age. He represented district 6. I must have missed his cannon shot. The next face is Felicity, my second murder. I'm relieved that Eli's face does not appear, I'm not ready to lose him. I wish I knew why I'm so attached to him although we've only been reunited for a few days. Still, something inside me wants to protect him so that is what I will try to do. Right now, he's probably safer without me.

"Don't worry the deaths will speed up soon. I don't think there's any food except from sponsors and the cornucopia. They'll get desperate and come looking for it soon, but not yet. We should be safe for tonight." He says.

"I guess they're really making it the Hunger games this year." I say.

"Well, without any careers we need motivation to kill otherwise everyone would just sit around and wait for the nature or the Gamemakers to finish them off. It's always boring the years when the deaths are natural. Remember the year everyone froze to death? There was outrage." says Ezra. I think about what he said. It is not true of me. I have food yet I have already killed two people.

"Yeah, I guess." I say. The seal is shown once more and the sky fades back to black. I search in my backpack and find the remaining dried meat. I wonder if anyone will still be close enough to see the fire to cook the noodles. I've barely eaten the last few days; I need to keep my strength up. I decide against a fire, I've had enough of danger for now. As if on cue, there's a chime as the silvery parachute flies past the window. It's attached to a small basket, my back is not so painful now so I crawl to the door to retrieve it.

"Ah, right on time. Hungry?" says Ezra. I set it down between us, his serum has turned from silver to white which signals that it is okay for Ezra to sit up. "I've been receiving these twice a day; I guess I have pretty good sponsors. I just hope I don't get really hurt if my mentor is going to waste all my sponsorship money like this." He says. I know that if we have any sponsors at all, Katniss and Peeta will use them wisely. I wonder if Eli has received anything yet. I hope that he hasn't because that would mean he is in danger.

Ezra opens up the basket and pulls out two bread rolls, some grapes and a packet of soft cheese. He must be particularly popular back home to have this much sponsorship, or maybe his mentors are just complete idiots. He hands me half of everything, I give him two noodle packets and half of my remaining meat in return. It isn't a fair deal, but he doesn't seem to mind. We eat in silence, regaining our strength. We finish and pack everything away again. Ezra unfolds a thick grey blanket and lies on the floor. I'm taking first watch, so I sit a few feet away and stare at the door. After a few moments of watching me shiver, he lifts up the side of the blanket and invites me to sit beside him. I rest my almost-healed back against the wall and get ready for the long night ahead.

I wake Ezra after a few hours, although I find it hard to disturb him. He looks so childlike in sleep, his face creased where the blanket has dug into his skin now resting against the outside of my thigh. His mouth is slightly open in an O-shape, and it is now that I can finally tie his face to the one who used to chase me around the park while our mothers talked. If it was my choice I would leave him to sleep, but I intend to walk through tomorrow so I need rest. The moment my head touches the floor; I nestle down into his warmth and fall quickly into sleep.


	9. Famine

When morning comes Ezra shares his breakfast of hot, meaty broth with me. I know that it is stupid, but I hate being in his debt and he does not appear to have any weapons so as a parting gift I give him two of my remaining throwing knifes. I hope that they will make us even as I say goodbye at the fence boundary. There's a larger gap on this side, so I guess Elias is long gone. He has at least a day on me. Ezra is going east, so I choose west. If my theory is correct, it should take me to richer districts which may bear better items. If this district is agriculture, the next must be livestock. Perhaps I will get the chance to find some real food.

The walk lasts around an hour until I begin to hear the soft lowing of cattle and the boundary is visible. There's a large piece missing out of this fence, I walk through without danger.

I follow the dirt path between the fields and again I am disappointed. The grass is brown; many of the cattle look like they have been dead for weeks. Those still standing seem like they would provide less energy that it would take to kill one. I continue down the path, many of the houses here are spread out rather than clustered in the centre. Instead there are smaller clumps which seem to belong to each section of farmland. I guess it makes it easier to tend to the cattle this way.

I spend a few hours searching for the cattle which seem the least sick, but my efforts are wasted. Just before I reach the boundary of what I'm assuming to be District ten, I find a smaller farm containing sheep. Their coats are so overgrown that they clumsily shuffle through the grass, some completely stationary. It gives me an idea. I choose one which seems the least able to move and begin to cut away the wool. Once I have enough, I stuff it into my backpack. I will be alone tonight; I can use it to keep me warm.

I'm just about to leave when I spot a lamb hiding in the long dry grass. I catch it easily, feeling the sensation of hot blood on my hands until the life leaves it. The sky is partially light; I use the flint and steel for the first time to light a fire. I haven't seen a tribute since I left Ezra this morning so I assume everyone else is far away by now. The gamemakers will draw us together soon, but there was a cannon fire around midday so that should satisfy them for a little while. I know that they are messing with time; Coin probably wants the games out of the way as quickly as possible so she can turn the attention of the residents of Panem back to herself.

I walk for a few minutes until I come to cluster of trees which shade me from most of the wind. It takes me a few attempts to light the fire, my hand are shaky and weak. I cut away what little meat I am able to find on the lamb in small strips and roast it on a stick I pulled from one of the few living trees. Although I am not satisfied by the end of my meal, I wrap a little up in leaves for later. I'm not sure how much time passes, but soon after I finish cooking the sun begins to set. The sky is a million shades of lilac and pink, streaks of sunny yellow and rich gold scattered across like it has been painted by a child. Most days I would marvel at the beauty of such a sight, but tonight it is a sign that I'm running out of time to find shelter.

I'm halfway back across the field where I caught the lamb when I feel something large knock into my legs with incredible force. I lose my balance and I'm left sprawled in the dirt. I don't have time to spot my attacker as the second blow comes, I'm being trampled. There's the trickle of hot blood on my face as something solid crashes into it. I feel teeth tear into the flesh of my shoulder, but not sharp tearing teeth like most predators. They're flatter like humans, but hurt all the same. I force my eyes open, it is time to confront my attacker or I'm going to die.

I rub my eyes to disperse the blood which has pooled around them and see a flash of white. I reach out and pull, trying to throw the beast from me. It's soft like something I know, something thick and familiar... It's wool! I open the other eye and find the sheep backing up in order to charge once more. I roll out of the way just in time, but it isn't finished yet. He catches me this time and once I'm down takes another bite from the same place. I can feel the blood trickling down my back now, my shirt is sticky and wet. I make myself stand up and pull out my knife. I catch it on the fifth charge and I take another life. Perhaps I ate her baby earlier; perhaps I have torn apart another family. I try to tell myself that this is just a game, that the animals aren't real. It doesn't work. She tasted real.

I walk until the sky begins to grow darker before I find a stable which provides a little protection. I wash my wounds but try not to look at them, I'm already feeling queasy and I'm determined to keep my food down. I can feel that the flesh is ragged and torn, but decide to keep the last few drops of skin serum in case I gain a bigger injury. I consider taking my chance with the red pills in case they are the antibacterial medication I remember, but decide against it. What if it is a trick?

The capital seal is shown and the anthem begins. The only face of shows is that of a boy whose name I do not recall who represented district ten. His death must have been particularly drawn-out and awful for the Gamemakers to be so patient. In other years if there had only been one death they would have been forced to make things interesting. Perhaps there are allies or lovers or other acts which have their attention. I hope that I am right and pray that I am allowed to sleep peacefully as I unpack the wool from my backpack and lay it across my body, forcing closed my eyes.

After the second hour it becomes apparent that I am not going to be able to sleep tonight. So many thoughts crash around inside my head that I struggle to keep track. I make myself remember the happy little things I stored away for times like this. The bird on the windowsill, Elias's eyes just centimetres from mine in the dark. Katniss smiling as she beat me at checkers. Peeta's smile watching Katniss, the love in his eyes. Haymitch teasing Effie, the five of us sharing in the joke. The way the Capitol looks from the rooftop of the training centre. The taste of chocolate and honey. Mother.

I Latch on to the image of my mother and hold on until she becomes real. I imagine the smell of her perfume, the touch of her soft hands on my face and the gentle rhythm of her breathing as I lie beside her. I feel her stroking my hair and she morphs into Elias. I'm back in his bed at the training centre, breathing into his warmth. I'm still thinking of him as I drift into sleep.


	10. Fumes

I wake early and begin to walk before first light. I chew on some of the lamb as I leave the fields behind. The area between the districts is smaller today; I approach the boundary fence just as the sun peaks over the horizon. My heart jumps when I see the tall grain swaying in the fields, but as I draw closer I find that they are covered with tiny black spots and many have an unhealthy salmon-coloured tint. I decide to keep walking for a little while in the hopes that its height will conceal me while I walk.

I spend the first hour wading through the fields; I search for water as I walk. My water bottle bares just a few drops so I ignore my thirst and save them for later. I check on my shoulder wound and find that the bleeding has finally stopped but the skin around the area has turned a concerning shade of green.

The air is thick and hot today; my muscles are weakened by the lack of food so soon I have to force legs to keep moving. That's why it takes me so long to realise that the grain is still swaying around me when I kneel to retie my boot. I hear the low growl and begin to run as fast as my aching legs will allow. I can't tell which way I am running, everything looks the same here. Whatever makes the noise continues to follow me, just behind my heels.

Eventually I come to the boundary between two fields and climb the large oak three which provides the first shade I have seen in hours. The creature reveals its self, snapping at my ankles until I manage to climb clumsily high enough to avoid it. Its snarling jaw and short, thick legs scratch at the bark, but eventually gives up and wanders back into the wheat. I make a mental note to stick to the dirt roads from now on.

I climb up to the highest branches so I can see what is to come. I decide to wait until the sun passes its apex and the afternoon begins to cool before I restart my journey. I wonder where Eli is now; if he is better off without me. I have proven myself to be dangerous to him, reckless and murderous. My plan to protect his was naive and stupid; if I had stayed away from him he might have had the best chance of winning this thing. After the hayloft they will have figured out that I care for him, I have put him in more danger than necessary. I begin to wonder where Ezra is, but remove him from my thoughts. It is foolish to become attached.

I'm just about to begin to climb down when I hear the sound of voices, at least two female and one male. Tributes. They become visible within minutes, two of whom I recognise and a girl I do not. The blonde girl is named Fleur; she was in our defence classes. The boy's name is Landon, his long dark hair and large eyes make him look much younger than his seventeen years.

They rest at the bottom of the tree; I try not to let myself breathe in case they hear me. "You two rest, I'll keep watch. We can walk through the night if you sleep now." says Landon in a gentle voice. I'm going to lose valuable time if they sleep but there's no way to escape without being caught.

The little girl rests her back against the trunk and closes her eyes so I settle back down to wait them out. I have only been sitting for a short time when Fleur opens her eyes. She and Landon rise to their feet, he takes something out from his backpack. It glints in the sun, reflecting a beam right at me. Fleur raises her finger to her lips and crouches down beside the girl, gently covering her mouth with one hard. She barely has time to open her eyes as the knife is plunged into her. I try not to cry out in outrage. I consider climbing down to confront them then realise how stupid the thought is.

I expect them to move on right away, but the first think they do is tear the backpack from the girl's limp body. She's not even dead yet, her eyes flicker weakly. They drive hungrily into it the moment it leaves her back. They empty out the contents, scattering the packets in the dirt. They divide them up, tearing open the packaging and thrusting the contents into their mouths. It has finally happened; the others have grown so desperate that they are ready to kill. I wonder how many more they will kill before the games are out.

"We should have stayed in that other place; at least there was somewhere to sleep. Let's go back" says the Landon.

"I've told you, we can't go back. It's not there anymore, don't you listen?" say Fleur.

"I thought you were just saying that for the girl. How could something that big just disappear?" he asks.

"The Gamemakers can do whatever they like. They're drawing us closer together, that way we can only move forward. If she'd just shared we could have let her live a little longer. She was a good shot." she says. The boy looks nervous, but the girl shows no remorse. Perhaps she will be the first to turn off her humanity.

They move away from the body eventually, taking her items with them. I wait for the cannon fire but it does not come. Of course, I must move away from the body. If I do not then they will become suspicious and return.

I climb down as quickly as I can and reach for my backpack, but it is gone. Of course, I put it down to tie my boot before the beast came. Luckily I still have three remaining throwing knives in my belt, but everything else is lost. I clench my jaw in anger and bend down to check the body for anything I can use. Fleur and Landon were clumsy; they didn't check any other part of her.

She has finally gone; my boots squelch in the pool of blood. In her pocket I find some clean white bandages and a small bag of dried plums. Everything else is so blood-soaked that it is useless. It would take more effort to remove them than they're worth.

I jump back across the body, turning back to close her eyes with my fingers. Now she looks like she could be sleeping. But she isn't. I hear the cannon shot just as I find myself back on the dirt road.

The walk to the boundary of the next district is a short one, I arrive late afternoon. It's an urban place, a severe change from the open land which I have experienced over the last few days. As far as I can see there are factories, their huddled masses cast the entire district into darkness. The lack of sun makes me nervous, I wish that I could pass right through but I don't have the energy to walk through the night.

I take this chance to check on my wound. I'm surprised to find that it still has not begun to heal, it weeps a yellowish liquid. I need to do something about it, but I'm not sure what. "I could really use some help here, Katniss." I whisper to myself. I don't know if she is listening or even if I have sponsors at all. I haven't been paying too much attention to the pain, too many things hurt to isolate it while I walked. Now that I'm aware of it I can't think of anything else.

I decide to use the last few hours of light to look for useful objects in the buildings. I recognise them from Katniss's propos last year; I imagine her standing on the rooftop in her mockingjay suit while the bombs rained down. The bodies that lay broken and helpless lain down on the ground. The living left decaying among the dead.

The smell of fumes makes my eyes water. My throat is now so dry that I struggle to swallow and every muscle in my body aches. I can't imagine living here among the tiny tenements and gloomy, dirty buildings.

In the third I search I find a collection of rags laid out on the floor as if somebody had been sleeping there recently. I will make sure to be careful tonight; if previous districts are disappearing then the others can't be more than a day ahead of me. There has to be at least some tributes nearby.

I know that there won't be any food here, eight is one of the poorest district and produces textiles. I will have to go hungry again tonight and hope that the next bears some sanctuary.

I walk until sunset, trying to get as far through the district as I can. I want to be able to leave before midday, earlier if possible. I can't stand it here, at least in ten and eleven I had the blue sky to keep me going. Here the thick mixture of smoke and fog blocks out much of the sky.

I wait outside a smaller factory until the capitol seal shows and the anthem begins. The only face to show today is the little girl who was killed by Fleur and Landon today. She trusted them, but the hunger has finally caught up with them. The games have finally begun.


	11. Namesake

When I awake in the corner of the dusty factory the parachute is waiting for me. It's a blue small pot with that harsh smell than I recognise. I take out a small amount and rub it into the wound, the effect is instantly soothing. The skin is now purple-black and still ragged. I whisper my thanks to my mentors. Perhaps I do have sponsors after all.

I put the pot into my pocket and get ready for the day's journey. The boundary fence on this side is high, but it seems others have passed through already so I don't have too much trouble. I heard other tributes last night but luckily they did not find me.

I just make it to other side when the birds fall silent. There's a rumbling beginning further away, drawing closer with the seconds. The first bomb falls in the distance, I feel the ground shake beneath me. I hear the shouting of other tributes as they panic. Those who were closer to the other boundary will have to run towards me or die. They're drawing us closer again; they must want to remove this district soon. There are still sixteen surviving tributes. Fifteen more must die before this thing can finally be over.

I run as fast as possible, I hear other tributes behind me. Their own feat beat against the tightly-packed dirt. I don't stop until I have thrown my body through the hole in the fence into the lush forest I have been waiting for.

Of course: Lumber. Trees mean wildlife and wildlife means water. Right?

I breathe in the sweet smell of pine and bathe my face in the streaks of sunshine through the trees. It's heaven after the fumes and darkness of eight, but like all things in the arena I know that it will not last. The voices soon draw closer, I need to move. I'm rather sick of running, but I'm not ready to die just yet.

I find myself thinking of the 74th games, the woods are so similar to those in which Katniss and Peeta fought for their lives. I hear the clanging of swords, a fight has begun. All those tributes are now in the same district, only a few must be ahead of us. I'm surprised that I do not run into another tribute until midday.

I spend the morning searching for water; a tiny stream hidden among the grass allows a little hope. It's not enough to drink from, but it must run somewhere. My head is aching and my vision is blurred, I don't know how much longer I will last. I'm getting clumsy, my feet trip over each other and the closely packed tree trunks become harder to dodge.

Eventually the stream merges into a small pond, deep enough to bathe in. I use my cupped hands to drink as much water as possible, forgetting that I'm supposed to take a little at a time. Soon I begin to feel ill but like all my other ailments I ignore it.

I peel off my clothes for the first time in days feeling the sun on my skin. I know that I am leaving myself vulnerable but I'm losing the ability to care. I dip my toes into the cool water, emerging myself a little at a time until I'm submerged. Little plants with arrow-shaped leaves and small white flowers poke out from the water's edge. I remember something that Katniss said in the training centre. 'As long as you can find me, you'll never starve.' she said, pointing to the little drawing in her book. Sagittaria. The plant for which Katniss was named. I dig up the soft mud with my nails and pull out the roots. If I can cook them then I may not go hungry tonight.

I wrap the roots in a large leaf and leave them by the water's edge. I wash my clothes, leave them drying on the rocks then go back to bathing. I scrub away every last spec of blood until my skin is back to its normal snowy tint. I float in the water for a little while but soon my happiness is disturbed once more.

I grab my clothes and crouch throw them on as quickly as possible and crouch behind a cluster of trees. I'm not completely concealed but it's as good as it's going to get.

The boy has his back to me; he fills a bottle at the water's edge. He looks around nervously; the disturbed plants give me away. I'm not ready for a fight today.

I pulls his knife and spins around. I gasp when I see his face. Dark skin, piercing green eyes. Even covered with mud-packed clothing an soiled bandages I would recognise Elias anywhere. His arm falls and he smiles when he sees me. Perhaps he has forgiven me.

"Melodie! Finally!" he exclaims, his eyes full of light. I can't even remember my plan I have changed it so often, I give in and walk towards him. He pulls me into him and we spin, laughing for the first time in what feels like a lifetime. I breathe in his scent, my body safe within his arms.

"Where have you been? I've been searching for you for days." he whispers into my neck.

"What do you mean where was I? You left, not me." I say. I realise that I still feel hurt although I did not realise it. I wish I had stayed quiet. I do not blame him for leaving, I am a murderer.

"I regretted in the moment I left, but I guess I'm just stubborn. By the time I convinced myself to come back, the entire district had disappeared. I couldn't find you, there was so much to search." He says.

"Never mind, forget I mentioned it. I'm just glad you're back." I say. I can almost feel Haymitch's exasperation as I recall him words. One of us still must die, but I'm tired of loneliness. I spent enough years alone; I do not wish my final days or hours to be the same.

I collect my Katniss roots from the bank and begin to walk once more. With Eli at my side everything looks brighter, more defined. Even though we do not talk to stay concealed from other tributes I feel safer beside him.

We walk through the forest for most of the day, there's a cannon shot late afternoon. We combine our memory of the survival station and Katniss' book to collect plants for supper tonight. By the time we rest I'm out of breath, Eli walks so much faster than I do but I didn't want to slow him down. If I am to stay then I must not be a burden.

Elias leads me into the centre of the district where the trees thin and more light is allowed to break through the canopy. We will not be safe to stay here now that eight is gone; too many of us are closely packed. We use the remaining light to build a fire before it is able to give away our location.

Eli has gained items since he was been gone; he removes a selection of plants from his bag. I feel bad that I have so little to contribute to the meal, but I know Eli well enough to know he will not mind. Katniss was right – the roots cooked are as good as any potato.

When sunset comes we put out the fire and walk until we find a lodge on the outskirts of the cluster. We decide to take watch in shifts, beginning with him. I am glad of it, I am exhausted. It is completely empty so Elias removed the blanket from his backpack and spreads it out on the floor. It looks like the one that Ezra and I shared. I'm not sure why but I feel guilty.

We wait for the capitol seal to show and the anthem begins once again. Just one death again today, a boy who represented district four.

"His name was Byron. He was a nice kid. The Kendall family moved into your old apartment a few years back. He had a little sister, she's just five." says Eli.

"There's no room for sentiment here, Eli." I say.

"I know that, I'm just sick of all the death. I miss real life, or as real as you could get in the Capitol." he says.

"Me too. Even the tower was better than this, and I was a few weeks away from plotting the murder of the head housemaid if she criticised my ability to make my own bed one more time." I say.

"I guess there's one advantage to this thing. I got to see you again." He says. I'd tell him not to be so stupid if I could bear it. Even though it is awful I'm l glad of him too. Without the games we may not have met again for years. Even if I only get to have him for a short time before my death it's better than not at all. It's a selfish thought, but that's who I am now. Selfish, murderous Melodie.

Eli sits with his back to the wall and I rest my head in his lap. This way if he leaves me again I will awaken. I fall asleep easily in his presence.

It's still dark when Eli wakes me to take my watch. The air is icy now; he lies beside me underneath the blanket. I can't stand the cold so he pulls me into him, my back pressed into his body and my head beneath his chin. His long arms wrap around me, protecting me from the world.

"I can't sleep." He says after a while.

"Shush, you need rest if we're going to walk tomorrow. They're drawing us closer together, we need to prepare for a fight if it comes to it." I whisper.

"I don't want to talk about the games. Just for a few moments I don't want to think about the lives that are to be lost. I don't want to think of the grieving families or anything remotely related to morbidity." I know what he is hinting at, but I am reluctant. I clear my throat as quietly as possible as I begin, for the first time in years, to sing the song which my mother learned in district eleven before my birth.

_Down in the valley, the valley so low_

_Hang your head over, hear the wind blow_

_Hear the wind blow, dear, hear the wind blow;_

_Hang your head over, hear the wind blow._

_Roses love sunshine, violets love dew,_

_Angels in Heaven know I love you,_

_Know I love you, dear, know I love you,_

_Angels in Heaven know I love you._

_If you don't love me, love whom you please,_

_Throw your arms 'round me, give my heart ease,_

_Give my heart ease, dear, give my heart ease,_

_Throw your arms 'round me, give my heart ease._

_Build me a castle, forty feet high;_

_So I can see her as she rides by,_

_As she rides by, dear, as she rides by,_

_So I can see her as she rides by._

She always called it 'The Valley song', although I was warned never to sing it in front of my Grandfather. For the first few weeks after she was killed it was the only thing that made me feel close to my parents. It was part of them, something that I only ever shared with Elias. I use the sword to see his face. He is smiling in sleep.

I had to explain to Eli what angels were the first time he heard it. I knew from my mother that a long time ago people believed that there was somebody in the sky watching over them, keeping them safe from harm. The angels were pure and helped him in his work; they lived in a world called heaven. All of that was forgotten by the time Panem was founded, all we had for reference was the books salvaged from the old world. The people of Panem need something to believe in, but those in the districts know nobody is there to save them. No mighty being would allow seventy six years of murder, twenty three children turned into monsters then executed at the hands of each other. Sometimes I wish we still had something to hope for, a better place to go once we die. For me it will be soon and I would love to believe that I will go to somewhere beautiful for the rest of eternity. The only thing stronger than fear is hope.


	12. Oasis

I drift in and out of sleep, always half-conscious to listen for danger. I wake Elias a little earlier than I wish. If it was up to me I would stay wrapped up in him all day but now the sun has peaked over the horizon we're exposed.

Once we're sure that we are not being watched we creep through the forest to check Eli's traps. Two rabbits hang on the line above our heads, I would never have seen them if he did not point them out.

"How long have you been here?" I ask him.

"Just a little while, I crossed the boundary an hour or two before nightfall. Couldn't believe my luck when I realised there was food." He says as he takes down the rabbits. He must have been in district 8 at the same time as me for a short time, just missing each other.

He slides the knife under the skin of the first rabbit and peels it backwards like a poorly fitting sweater. Any other day my stomach would turn at the thought but today she is lunch.

"Want to do the other one?" he asks. I hesitate, considering showing off my newly found bravery. Instead I shake my head and wait for him to do it. Perhaps I'm fooling myself. I find it hard to distinguish between bravery and stupidity these days.

We decide to continue on through the districts, after last night I'm sure that I don't want to be near when they remove this place. We use the time we have left to cook the rabbits and soak in the sunlight. I brush my fingers along the long grass as he and I follow the path through the trees until we reach the next boundary. We have to crawl under the fence. The soft, warm mud coats our clothing but at least now we're partially camouflaged.

"Here, you have a little-"says Elias as he reaches for my face. I instinctively flinch out of the way and he raises an eyebrow. "Come on, hold still. I'm not going to hurt you." He says as he licks his thumb and rubs a spot on my cheek. I pull a face and stick out my tongue.

"There, all gone." He laughs.

"You're disgusting. Just tell me next time." I say, narrowing my eyes as I scrub away the patch of moisture with my sleeve. He pushes his hand to his mouth to muffle the chuckle, his brilliant green eyes bulging slightly under the pressure. For a moment he looks less like a man and more like a child. I guess it's a good sign that he still finds things funny; this place hasn't broken him yet.

We spend the next two days walking through district six then five. There's nothing here to see – no water of food to sustain us. We sleep huddled together in a corner of one of the few buildings that have not been reduced to rubble; we maintain our sanity by talking about home. By the time we enter District Four just me, Elias and nine others remain.

District four is like a beautiful oasis in the desert. The pure blue sea stretches for miles out in front of us, fishing boats float lazily in the docks and I struggle to define where the sky ends and the sea begins. I look to Elias and see him smile back, I grab his hand and we run down across the sand toward the water. I throw off my shoes and roll up the legs of my pants, gasping at the coldness as the water laps over my feet. Elias ventures a little deeper although his clothing is getting soaked, treading water until suddenly he flips onto his back and begins to float. I bite my lip for a moment and realise how dangerous it is to let our guard down when so many tributes are near but the past two days have been dull so I decide to join him.

Elias and I are two of the few who can swim. There's little reason to swim back home but one of the party towers had a pool installed a few years back. Pool parties were a brief phase but after hours of begging we finally convinced Elias's mother to take us once a month. Of course that water was less salty and created so it appeared a million dizzying colours, but the sense of calm water brings has not changed.

I limit our time to just a few minutes, we're too easy to spot out here. Any tribute who knows who we are will instantly recognise his large dark frame and my increasingly pale body. Elias groans when I grab his foot to drag is floating form towards the shore but at least now we're clean. Eli's hair stands up in short spikes and I find myself reaching to flatten it down.

This is getting out of hand. I can't let myself love him. We can't both win.

I keep my distance for the hours that follow, suggesting that we pick different parts of the beach to try to catch fish. We find a long piece of wood and Elias snaps in into two, passing me the shorter side. He suggests using the knife to sharpen the end, but that will take time. Instead I use a piece of thin rope from the dock to tie one of my knives to each. We take our spears into the shallow water a few metres from each other.

Elias disturbs the water too much as he lunges in with his spear so I move slightly further away where the water is calmer. The large silvery fish dart around my legs, I stay as still as I can then plunge my spear into the closest. I catch one other but my luck ends there so I turn back to join Eli. I climb on the rocks as the sea has trapped me on this patch of sand, I clutch the slippery fish under my arm and try to balance. I'm close to the top when I feel a sharp stabbing pain in my thigh and fall.

I drop the fish and try to sit up but I'm hit by a wave of dizziness. I feel a small pair of hands wrap around my neck and a heavy form on my chest. I force open my eyes and see a small, perfect face above me. I know exactly who this is. When I was two years old the first designer child was born to my grandfather's first advisor. There was so much news coverage in the capitol once she was born that they had to live one of the bunkers beneath the mansion just to keep her safe from the reporters. Everyone wanted the perfect child, but she remains the only one. Every other born after her had a defect of some kind; they could never repeat the procedure. Now she's in the most dangerous place in Panem. I bet she's a favourite with sponsors.

I try to push her knees off my chest so I can breathe but I'm weaker than I thought. The hunger is taking its toll. I kick my legs and try to scream but without air in my lungs I just squeak uselessly. Her large blue eyes are wild and her blonde hair has been shortened. I guess from the black frazzled ends that it was burned off along with her left eyebrow. I use what remains of my energy to swing my arms up and dig my nails into her scalp, wrenching her head backwards by what remains of her hair. She lets out a long animalistic scream and pulls forward, leaving me with two handfuls of blonde and blood. She pulls my remaining knife from my belt and holds it up to my neck.

"I've been waiting for this moment for a long time. This is your grandfather's fault, my father didn't want to do those things but he was _forced_ to. It was that or death. I bet you loved being untouchable. Well, not anymore." She says, pressing the edge of the blade deeper into my skin rather than the tip. I wonder if she even knows what she is doing. I gasp for air in panic but she's crushing me. I think for a moment that this is the moment I die, but then her eyes widen and she coughs. She blood spatters all over my face and she is dragged off me. I take in a huge lungful of air and pull myself up.

It is Eli's scared eyes that look down at me, his spear hanging loosely from his hand and dripping with blood. The rest of his face is blank. I remember that this is his first kill. I pull myself up slowly as he stares.

"We have to move away from the body, Eli. Come on, quickly." I say softly. Grab his hand and pull him slowly across the rocks as we climb down. I know it is wrong but I need to go back. I tell him to wait but I don't think he can hear me.

I climb up to the body and remember her name. Cecily's eyes are still wide open; I try not to look at them as I search her pockets. I find a small pot of golden cream, a packet of dry fruit and a chocolate bar. A girl like this must have more, to carry so little means that she must have more elsewhere. I follow the only obvious path down the side of the rocks I guess she came from and find in. Right near the bottom under the rocks is a dark green backpack. I swing it onto my shoulder and it is promisingly heavy.

I find Eli where I left him still staring out to sea just as the cannon fires. He does not say a word for the entire walk to the other side of the district. By the time we get there the sky is a deep, bloody red. There are more burned bodies in the streets and the houses are all destroyed so I eventually find a small cave just large enough for the two of us. Elias lies on the cold stone and stares vacantly. Is that what I should have been like when I killed? If this is normal then I understand why Eli left. I barely reacted.

The seal appears in the sky and the anthem plays. The only face in the sky tonight is Cecily's. I hear Eli sniff but his back is now to me. I take out the blanket from Cecily's backpack and spread it on the floor, then take Eli's and drape it over him. His eyes are closed and his breathing is even but I can't be sure he is sleeping. I spend some time to search Cecily's backpack as the sky grows impossibly dark. Luckily the first item I find is a small orb that emits a warm fire-like glow when tapped. It's not enough to make us visible but I can see. There's a flask with what smells like hot chocolate still steaming inside. By now just this alone must have cost a fortune. There's a slingshot, a bottle of water and purification drops, a clean white pair of socks, a comb, a few feet of rope and some matches. Attacking me is the best thing she could have done, this could prolong our survival enough for Eli to win. I repack everything and scratch my hand on something sharp in the pocket. It's a small square of mirror. Of course, the perfect child needs to look at herself. It was probably a gift from an admirer.

I stare at my reflection and do not recognise myself. My white-blonde hair hangs long and loose around my face, the circles under my eyes are almost as dark as my irises. My face is still splattered with Cecily's blood and there's a long scratch across my cheek. The girl who looks back at me is wild.

I use a little water to clean my face, scrubbing it with my sock. I put on the clean pair from the backpack and try to pull the comb through my tangles. It makes my eyes water but eventually I'm finished. I remember Katniss' gift – Prim's ribbon. I untie the blue satin from my ankle and tie a bow around my hair in a high ponytail. I still look gaunt and ill but at least I no longer look quite as feral.

I'm awoken after around an hour my by Eli's sharp cries. I reach out in the darkness but he is not being attacked – he is dreaming. Or, I suppose, it must be a nightmare. I wake my gently but his hand flies out as If fighting an attacker. He catches my cheek and it stings white-hot. His eyes open and he realises where he is.

"Oh, Mel. I'm so sorry, I'm so..." he begins but I stop him.

"Shh, it's okay. I know you didn't mean it." I say as I stroke his hair with my hand.

"You're freezing, come on." I say. We move onto my blanket and sandwich ourselves between the two. I lie facing him so that our faces are just inches away. He presses his forehead to mine and closes his eyes. I feel his heavy breath on my face. I can almost feel Haymitch's despair. I fall asleep with my legs tangled in his.


	13. Burn

Elias' nightmares continued on throughout the night so by the time I rise I have moved to the opposite side of the cave where his thrashing cannot reach me. I wonder why I still sleep soundly while Eli is plagued by violent nightmares. I try not to think about it too much.

The hot chocolate is somehow still hot so we take small sips from the lid until our first gift arrives. We open up the little box and find two flat, round grey bread rolls. I remember Peeta's voice at breakfast. 'Try dipping them. It's delicious.' I smile and wonder whether it was his idea or Katniss'. I take it as a sign to hold on.

We finish our breakfast and reach the boundary of four before the sun has fully risen. There is no fence this time – there's a stretch of water between here and the next section of land. There's a single boat left on the shore and we go straight for it. We could swim but today I feel weaker, if there's a current I don't know if we would make it. We're about a metre away when a boy around my height comes charging.

His sword swings towards me but it's too heavy for him and he's clumsy. I untied the two knives from our spears last night but I don't have time to grab them before he tries again. Elias snaps out of his daze just in time to grab the boy's wrist and take his weapon. He throws it into the sea and pins the boy to the ground.

"I am not going to kill you, I can't. You're going to get out of here and we're going to take the boat. Now, my friend here doesn't mind whether you live or die so I suggest that you get as far away as you can" he spits through clenched teeth. Eli removes his weight and the boy shuffles backwards until he is able to stand and runs back across the cliff. I stand startled and try to figure what is going on. I think that he is finally broken. I just hope that the doctors can fix him when he wins.

We climb silently into the boat and row until we reach the shore. Eli refuses to catch my eye; he walks further from me than ever before. We're close now, I'm sure that district one is the answer. Perhaps luxury goods mean that there's something that could save us. It dawns on me that the perfect time to leave is now when he is distant and angry.

"Eli? Maybe this is a good time to split up. I don't want it to come down to you and me." I say. He doesn't even look at me.

"Fine, go. Tell my mother hello when you get home." He says.

I begin to argue but he is already walking away. If I had any decency I would kill myself right here but I'm too much of a coward. It will have to be at the hands of someone else. I begin my journey through district three. Like district eight, this district is mainly factories. Instead of material and clothing the gigantic machines occupy most of the space. I find a room lined with huge screens which seems so be some kind of control room, I take a screwdriver from the desk. I come into contact with another tribute around noon.

I crouch behind a pile of smashed screens and watch the boy from earlier walking carefully across an empty patch of land. He must have found another way across. I watch for a moment, I'm far enough away for him to appear no more than a foot tall. I take in a breath of the filthy air.

I'm blown backwards as the ground beneath the boy explodes. I'm disorientated and for a second I can't hear, there's something lodged in my thigh. I try to figure out what is happening but the air is filled with thick smoke. There's something pink lying beside me and I reach for it. It's soft and oozing red liquid, my eyes focus and I realise it's a hand. I throw is away from me in disgust. Of course this has been too easy – there must me mines buried at random points. My first instinct is to run and tell Eli but if I go back I won't be able to leave again. My head is filled with a painful ringing but no other sound break through.

I realise that the explosion will attract curious tributes and I won't hear them coming. I feel my feet pounding against the concrete as I try to run on shaky legs. I make it into a concealed corner a factory and cover myself with the blanket. If anyone comes I should blend into the clutter until my hearing returns. I'm too much of any easy target without it. I eat the last of the meat and a piece of Cecily's chocolate. I suck the slowly but it just tastes too sweet and sticks to my mouth like paste, I feel like I'm chewing the meat for hours and a chunk of bone scratches my throat on the way down. I find myself falling into sleep.

When I awaken the factory is on fire.

My hearing has returned but the first thing I notice is the searing heat. The air is filled with thick black smoke so that I have to flatten myself to the floor to breathe. I bump my arm against the metal leg of a workbench and pull away in agony as an angry red welt appears. I struggle to remember where the door is and the smoke is getting thicker. I'm coughing hard and my eyes sting but I keep dragging myself forwards. I can't stand it any longer; I rest my head against the concrete.

I feel a pair of arms wrap around me and I'm lifted from the ground.

The next time my eyes open there's something cool resting over my eyes. "Mum?" I call out in a moment of confusion. Of course it isn't. She's dead. "Elias?" I try. My voice comes out rough and wobbly.

"Guess again." Says the smooth male voice.

"Ezra?"

"You know, you should really stop being near me when you need saving. I can't just leave you. I wonder why that is."

"You should have let me die. Even better, just kill me now."

I hear a slow, deep chuckle beside me and he pulls off the wet material from my eyes. They still sting but eventually they focus. His skin in even more tanned and his dark blue eyes pierce out beneath tangled hair.

"You know, if I kill you then I've wasted all of that burn cream your mentor send. Hope you don't mind that I borrowed some. Don't worry, I thanked them for you" he says.

I sit up slowly and find that we are in one of the small rooms with the screens. Ezra pushes his hair away from his eyes with one hand. He passes me a water bottle and I take a long drink.

"Where is my backpack? All of my things?" I ask.

"I didn't have time to get both. It was you or the backpack and I care less about that." he says. I feel my cheeks burn slightly as he holds my gaze a little too long.

"Umm... are you hungry?" he asks, taking the lid from a small basket. He pulls out two china plates and cutlery and I can't help but laugh at the absurdity of the flowery dish against the dirty broken tiles. The pots contain lamb stew with the dried plumbs and rice. Katniss' favourite. I've never liked it but after days of starvation it tastes amazing. I catch myself smiling like an idiot as Ezra passes me a soft white bread roll. He's sitting so close that our knees touch, his hand brushes mine as I take it from him. I force myself to shuffle further away. I can't do this again, not to Ezra. Elias is the one I care for but I can't have either. I have to be careful.

We finish eating and I make it clear that I want to move on right away. He tells me that I should rest to let my burns heal, there's still an hour or two until sunset so Ezra packs up his things and leaves. It seems too easy. Every time we meet he needs something important that I have but regularly receives meals from his sponsors. Perhaps his mentors really are complete idiots or maybe they're brilliant. Why has he been around each time I was in danger?

Ezra Booth has been following me. Of course, why send him something when he can just play hero and receive it for free? I've underestimated him. He could be dangerous competition for Elias. I should have killed him when I had the chance.

I hear a cannon shot a few minutes before the anthem plays. I watch the capitol seal appear and the first face is one I recognize. There's the boy who stepped on the mine, then a young redhead girl. When the third face appears I can't help but cry out. It can't be. The cannon shot I heard was for Ezra.

His headshot shows his bright blue eyes peering down from the sky behind dark hair. If I had just insisted that I leave rather than him Ezra would be alive. Another face to add to the pile of deaths I caused. I personally killed Tristan and Felicity. Cecily's death was because of my weakness. The boy might not have stepped on the mine if we had let him use the boat. Now Ezra is gone. My mother once called it The Butterfly Effect - everything I do sends out ripples that set off a chain of events. Only mine are not ripples, they're huge waves destroying everything in sight. I imagine Ezra's brother standing over his graveside as they bury the wooden box containing his body, the life gone from his eyes.

When I fall asleep I have my first nightmare.

Ezra, Elias and my mother each stand on an island a few metres away. There's something hiding in the forest behind each of them, I can't see it but I hear the mechanical clicking and know it is going to kill them. It's getting closer but I only have time to save one. I dive into the water but unseen creatures wrap around my ankles, they drag me under and my lungs fill with salty water. I resurface and choose Elias; only the creatures are on Mum and Ezra now. They have the head of my grandfather and the body of an insect, the smell of chemically altered roses makes me gag. I keep swimming to Eli's island but never get any closer. He turns his back to me and leaps into the water then I'm left alone. The anthem plays. My face is in the sky.

I understand why Katniss and Peeta have the pills she gave me the night before the arena now. I wake in a cold sweat, I struggle to breathe evenly and double over.

The parachute appears a few minutes later. I open the tiny vial and smell it, the sweetness is instantly recognisable. It's sleep syrup. I drink it instantly.

"Thank you." I tell my mentors in relief. They know nightmares better than any person should.


	14. Victor

Overnight the Gamemakers have covered the arena in a thick layer of snow. I wake half-frozen and try to ignore the roaring of my stomach. I find that the boundary to district two has already been broken down; a large missing section of wire allows me to pass through easily. I add the cannon shots from this morning to those from the last few days. Twenty. There's just four of us left.

Officially district two produces stonework and masonry but informally this is where our peacekeepers and trained. Each village is spread around a stone quarry but this part of the arena seems to focus on just one. The buildings are plastered with posters and I pull down a few to read to distract myself from the increasing numbness of my limbs.

The first reads 'Enlist as a Panem Peacekeeper and patriot for a brighter tomorrow.'

The next reads 'Panem Peacekeepers maintaining order in the districts for seventy-five years.' I laugh although it isn't that funny. They must have been placed there for the benefit of the district watching, a taunt to the old government. Seventy five years of peace before the Mockingjay. Before Katniss and Peeta, before Coin and the rebellion. Before hundreds of innocent lives were taken at the hands of both sides.

I trudge through the snow for another few minutes before I hear a familiar sound. The roaring begins low, softly, but then increases as I get closer. I freeze and try to hide but the rumbling of my stomach gives me away. The beast reveals it's self.

Initially I guess it to be a wolf, or at least a canine of some kind. Its skin is covered in reptilian scales which glow like they're burning. It growls once more and the scales burst into flames. I'm frozen in panic but eventually I manage to turn and flee.

I stumble through the snow and will my numb limbs to continue. There's a tree just in sight but the creature is close behind me. The growling is so close now that I refuse to look back because my legs are already threatening to give in. The dull sky suddenly lightens and the low, golden sun is revealed. It takes my eyes longer to adjust so I'm left blindly tumbling with nothing but the desperate will to continue. I must be close now, I think. I feel the soft snow beneath me change into compacted dirt. I reach out for the branches right as something wraps around my legs.

I'm hoisted up by an invisible force, hitting my head on the lower branches. I'm dazed for a moment as I feel the warm trickle of blood flowing down into my eyes. I struggle and try to reach for my last knife but the net is too tight and my arms are pinned behind me. The clanging of swords continues and I hear Elias cry out again. My eyes finally adjust to the light and I see them – Fleur and Landon swinging their weapons at Eli as he steps closer and closer to the boundary between district two and three. I try to stay quiet but Elias is struggling and I can't bear to watch. It wasn't supposed to be this way but at least the beast is gone.

"We've got her!" cries Fleur

"Go, I can deal with him. Make sure she suffers." Landon spits.

She strides towards me and her face twists up in an unpleasant smile. I wriggle and continue to try to loosen my arms but it's no good. Perhaps it's better this way. I always knew that I wouldn't win; I even convinced myself I didn't want to. But if that was true I would have ended it ages ago. The second day, once I knew that Elias had a chance without me. There's nothing for me back home, the money doesn't matter now that everyone I love is gone. I can't go back to the capitol to live each day among the parents of those I killed or watched die. That world is too clean, too perfect and bright. I prepare myself for the blow as she spins the smaller knife in her hand. This won't be quick or easy. I wonder if she'll have the decency to kill me before Elias.

Fleur's eyes are dark and bruised under waves of red hair as she pulls the rope so I'm lowered. She draws her face closer to mine so I can feel her breath on me. Only now that the net is looser my hands can move more easily and I can almost reach the blade of my knife. If I can't help Elias myself then perhaps I can kill Fleur before myself and then there will be just Him and Landon. I feel a sudden rush of energy as my fingers wrap around it. It digs into my hand and I squeeze my eyes closed until the pain is less.

Fleur's first cut comes straight across my cheek. It's deep but the pain just blends in with the rest I already feel. Compared to the wound from where my head smashed against the branches her knife is nothing. Her eyes grow darker and angrier as she waits for me to cry out. I don't give her the satisfaction. She continues to make small cuts as I twist to see Elias and Landon. They're right on the boundary line now, Landon's feet both stand in district three. Their swords clang rhythmically but Elias seems to be winning, pushing Landon further and further from us. He catches my eye and the corner of his mouth twitches upwards into a soft smile.

My arms are finally free and I pull the handle of the knife into my hand. Fleur comes closer and further lowers net to find a better angle to kill me at. Too close, because mine is longer and she isn't expecting me to move. My mind is slower now but eventually I remember. Her legs are exposed; the material has been burned away leaving very little covered.

I picture the medical textbook in the library back home and dig the blade deep into her thigh. If I'm right then I've severed her femoral artery. She gives a long, high scream and falls to the ground. If I hit the right place she should be unconscious within a minute and dead within 4. She lets go of the rope as her arm falls weakly and I fall the final few feet to the ground. The wind is knocked out of me and I'm left gasping uselessly in a puddle of Fleur's blood. It pools thick and dark on the icy land. Her eyes are cold and vacant by the time I'm able to stand.

I spin to see Landon and Elias. Landon is obviously tiring but Elias has a look of determination. He catches my eye once more and mimes something I can't make out before pulling Landon close to him in what looks like an embrace but I can't figure out what is going on. I stumble forwards to get a better look, forgetting about my plan to end myself. He takes three strong, precise steps with Landon in his arms.

I'm thrown to the floor as the mine beneath them explodes.

The impact with the hard-packed ice comes and I feel something in my arm break. I'm showered in debris and I cover my head with my one good arm to protect myself. There's clean, perfect silence. I put my hand up to my ear and wonder if the blood is from it or another wound. I guess a mixture of the two. After a minute the ground stops vibrating. I'm dizzy as I try to sit up and my eyes struggle to focus. The entire patch of land where they once stood is gone leaving an enormous crater.

I can't believe it.

I'm alone.

My hand goes to my head again and it comes back slick with blood. My hearing returns but only slightly. Muffled, broken in the distance I hear the voice of Claudius Templesmith.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, I'm pleased to introduce our last ever victor of The Hunger Games, Melodie Snow! I give you the Capitol victor representing district twelve!"

I'm cursing Elias for leaving me when I feel the needle enter my arm because now I'm pretty sure I can scream at the dead.

I drift in and out of consciousness but I'm frozen solid. I try to move my limbs but they refuse. I can't feel anything and the only sound is the rhythmic beeping in the distance and the tapping of shoes on tiles. It's so peaceful that I wonder if I am dead. I wish I was. What do I have to come back to? My grandfather left me more money than I could ever spend but it is no replacement for what I need. Soon I will be alone with my nightmares, alone with the memory of the murder of twenty three tributes. I hate Katniss now more than I've ever hated anyone, she agreed to these games. Without her Elias would be alive and I would not be a murderer. Without her I'd be at home waiting for my first taste of freedom in the Capitol now that my grandfather isn't here to stop me. I could be in the new party tower from dusk until dawn; I could have found Elias and Ezra myself and built a good life.

What am I now?

I am the starving, wounded mess of a person and I wish they would let me die. I don't know how much time passes but I become increasingly sure that I've gone insane. My mother sits by my bedside and sings the valley song in hushed tones. Elias replaces her and rests his feet on the bed while eating a pot of chocolate pudding and honey. He offers me some and I scream at him to leave. Why didn't he just let me save him? He could have easily beaten Landon. But he saw that mine and he pushed the two of them into it. He, like everyone else, has abandoned me.

There comes a time when I can finally move. I open my eyes and find that I've been placed it a sitting position but a strap across my middle ensures that I cannot get up. There's a sharp, antiseptic smell and a needle in my left arm. Katniss stands at my bedside.

"Melodie, I..." she begins but I don't let her. I writhe and scream, always slightly too far away to get her. I try to scratch her, to cause any damage possible but I'm tied down too tight. She just watches me with the same sad look until my anger lulls and tears replace it. I cry until my throat is tight and raw and my chest aches until no sound comes out. Katniss sits silently and waits.

"Do you want me to leave?" she eventually asks.

Even I'm surprised when I shake my head.

Katniss returns every day until eventually I begin to hate her less but I refuse all other visitors. The time comes when the strap is removed and I'm free to stand but I do so extremely carefully, not trusting my legs. I find them surprisingly strong beneath me. There's a set of clothes folded at the end of the bed, a plain blue shirt and black skirt. I look to Katniss.

"It's time to meet your team. They usually make you do this in the arena clothes but what they don't know won't hurt them." She says.

I give her a small smile but it comes out more like a grimace. She helps me out of the papery robe and into the clothes. I find my skin smooth and flawless, every knife cut and bruise has been erased. A fully body polish, I should have known. It's like they've just wiped away all reminders of the games. It's a shame they don't work inside my head.

"Tuck in your tail, little duck." She says quietly like she's somewhere far away as she tucks in the back of my skirt. I get the feeling that she isn't really talking to me.

Katniss holds up the piece of blue ribbon freshly cleaned of my blood. "You brought it back. Thank you." She says. I stare at her and she stares back and I know that she is the only person who I trust. She too is broken, wearied by life before her time. I know that if I still had a heart it would be breaking right now.


	15. Promise

Katniss presses a little card to the door and we're finally released. They all wait in a big chamber at the end of the hall – Cillian, Peeta, Effie and Haymitch. I walk slowly, aware of the cameras with my head raised. I want to show them that they have not won. Coin does not own me now; she has not broken me yet. She might have taken the last people I loved but the real games are only just beginning.

I reach Peeta and he extends his hand for me to shake it but instead I pull him into an embrace. He's so solid and steady that I can't help but think of Elias. Peeta is smaller, stockier than Eli but he has that same easy confidence that put me at ease. I know that I stay holding on too long but he does not pull away until I'm ready. I let on one last quiet sob with my face turned from the cameras then release him. He gives me a comforting smile.

"Good job, Sweetheart." Haymitch says as he pats me on the back. For the first time since we met he does not sound sarcastic or angry or incoherently drunk. He sounds concerned but genuine. Peeta and Katniss exchange nervous looks and I can't help but wonder what they're not telling me. Effie just blathers on about being so proud of having three victors in a row and some rubbish about pearls.

"Go with Cillian, Melodie. You need to prepare for tonight." Peeta says. I look to Katniss and panic. I don't want to be alone.

"Don't worry; I'll be right there tonight." She says.

I fall into step with Cillian as he guides me away from the cameras, down a few passages and to an elevator that leads to the lobby of the Training Centre. The hospital then is far underground, even beneath the gym where the tributes practiced tying knots and throwing spears. The windows of the lobby are darkened, and a handful of guards stand on duty. No one else is there to see us cross to the tribute elevator. Our footsteps echo in the emptiness. And when we ride up to the twelfth floor, the faces of all the tributes who will never return flash across my mind and there's a heavy, tight place in my chest.

When the elevator doors open, Venia, Flavius and Octavia engulf me talking over each other so quickly and ecstatically that I can barely make out what they are saying. They sweep into the dining room and I'm finally allowed real food rather than that mushy, tasteless filth I've been eating for the last week or two. Their voices are non-stop as they discuss what they were doing at the time of each big event and I can't help but stare at Eli's empty chair. The food is too rich and I load up my plate too high, I didn't realise how little I can eat now. It's all too much and I feel my breath quicken, every muscle in my body tenses and I lose my meal right there on the carpet.

I begin to apologise but they insist it is fine and call over an avox to clean it up. We go back to my room and Cillian disappears for a while as the prep team gets me ready.

"Oh, Katniss said she wasn't going to allow the surgery but you look amazing!" squeals Octavia. My hands paw my body as I examine my reflection. In the mirror I see my body no longer pale and translucent, the days of sun have added a soft glow and I discover freckles I never knew I had. The surgeons have given me back my breasts, they've added subtle curves and I can no longer count my ribs. My hair, now no longer coated with blood, is a hundred shades of blonde cascading down my back. I look healthy but begin to feel that I may be more plastic than person. I'm grateful of it though, my body in the arena was sickly and broken. I don't ever want to see that again. The sagging skin and angular bones made me look vulnerable and weak. With this body I feel strong and less afraid. I make a mental note to thank her properly.

I take a long, warm shower and then my team go to work on my nails and hair when I'm done. I'm used to wallowing in the games here in The Capitol but now that I've seen it for myself it seems sick. I grit my teeth and stay silent as they babble on though the day. They're more nervous around me than before the games now though. With Katniss they were safe; she only killed to defend herself and her friends. I killed more easily and twice needlessly. I am dangerous, unpredictable, and insane.

Cillian comes in with my dress and relieves me from having to listen to them. They have styled my hair into a simple twist and worked with the new life in my skin to create healthy, rosy cheeks and full pink lips. The dress is a beautiful pale gold lace drifting to mid-thigh with a dipping neckline showing off the surgeon's work. My nails have been painted the same golden shade. Cillian helps me dress then fastens a thin black ribbon around my waste in a bow at the back. Finally I step into shiny back heels and the look is complete. I admire the clean, precise lines and perfection of it all. If I'm going to face Coin and the rest of Panem then this is the perfect way to do it. Cillian has done perfectly; everything about this outfit screams maturity and strength. In my old body I would have looked like a little girl in my mother's clothes but now I feel different. Perhaps I'm not me anymore. I don't feel very much like me but the best way to face this enemy is behind the mask created for me.

"No more Snow?" I ask.

"Now this is over you don't have to just be Snow's granddaughter anymore. You can be whoever you want to be. You remember that. You're earned it." Cillian says.

We take the elevator to the level where we trained. It's customary for the victor and his or her support team to rise from beneath the stage. First the prep team, followed by the escort, the stylist, the mentor, and finally the victor. I find myself in a well-lit area beneath the stage where the air smells like old books and it feels like home. I take in huge lungfuls in an attempt to stop the shaking over my hands but it doesn't help. They must have had to completely restore the stage to the original design after it was altered for two victors for the seventy-fourth games but as there was no victor for the quarter quell the work has been long since completed. It's a shame because I love the smell of building work. The woody smell of sawdust, the fresh paint odour floating on the breeze...

I jump as I feel a hand on my shoulder. I startle and spin around, still half in the arena I guess. I feel a wave of relief as I realise it is just Katniss. She looks at me seriously and grasps my hands between hers.

"Melodie, I think you already know that this isn't over. Remember what I said about Coin before the games? She wasn't making false threats. She saw the way that Elias looked at you, she saw the way acted together. Haymitch warned us but we didn't listen. She made us your mentors for two reasons: to punish me and so you would know what you had to do. You and Elias were supposed to carry out on threat Peeta and I made." She says.

I stare at her blankly and try to figure out what she means.

"Don't you see Melodie? If she had wanted you to die so soon she would have killed you herself. With so few victors left she assumed that you and Elias would kill yourselves rather than have to see the other die so that Landon would be left the victor. You two die, he kills Fleur and then wins. The last hunger games wrapped up neatly forever. But Elias sacrificed himself and left you. She isn't happy, Melodie, and this is only just beginning." She says.

"Everyone I love is gone, who is there left for her to hurt? I don't care what she does to me." I say so surely that I almost believe my own words.I should have known that it was too good to be true. I look around to see if anyone is listening but it's deserted under here.

"Don't worry Mel, Coin won't be listening and if she is she won't care. She thinks that she's untouchable now. She's a whole new breed this woman. Unpredictable." She says. I pull her into an embrace and she totters a little on her heels.

"I never did get used to these things," she smiles, "Time to take our places. Clench your teeth and imagine somewhere better until it's all over. You'll want to kill them all but just answer honestly and we'll figure out the next move tomorrow. There's nothing we can do now."

Katniss leads me to my metal plate and gives my hand one last reassuring pat before disappearing into the darkness. I count the seconds as the pass by and the audience is so loud that I can barely hear myself think. The anthem booms in my ears and I hear the voice of Ceaser Flickerman greeting the audience. The crowd breaks into applause as the prep team are introduced. I imagine their excitement as they have their second time in the spotlight. First my mentors and now me, I bet this is better than anything they could have wished for. Haymitch is not officially a mentor but he is introduced anyway along with Peeta and Katniss. The roar is so loud that I find myself thinking of the mine exploding again and the stomping that follows feel like the tremors that shook me afterwards. They are the most popular people in Panem these days. They brought the districts out of the darkness. Or so they thought.

Blinding lights. The metal rattles beneath my feet under the crowd's enthusiasm. I take long, confident strides towards Caesar and I shake his hand steadily. He heads me to a single, ornate chair and I sit as if I have always belonged there. This will usually lasts for exactly three hours and is required viewing for all of Panem. This time, though, the show is extended to show highlights from the previous seventy-five years. The Panem Seal appears on the screen and a new, unfamiliar female voice begins.

"Ladies and gentlemen of Panem. Our story began with the dark days, the time of the first rebellion. We were bombed into submission; we were threatened and bullied until we retreated back into our old lives. District thirteen, you all thought, was obliterated."

A round of amused muttering from the audience.

"For seventy five years we lived under the oppression, sacrificing our own children and watching them fight to death in a bloody battle. But then came a change, a new time. Some may even say that the seventy-fourth games was the spark that ignited the fire that was the Rebellion. This time the districts won and as punishment it was decided that the final games would reap twenty-four Capitol born children as tributes to those that were taken so cruelly from us. Tomorrow the districts will be given a very important decision. Are we satisfied with the twenty-three Capitol tributes that died when we have lost close to 1700 children over the years that this has continued? The choice is yours. Voting in mandatory for every District citizen over the age of 16."

The voice end and there's a roar of protest from the Capitol section of the audience. I look to my mentors but they're arguing in hushed tones. Even Caesar seems surprised; apparently he was not warned about this announcement. I lose all sense of composure and begin shaking life a leaf. So this is our punishment - the games will continue. Everyone already knows that their voting will not be taken into account, it is just for show. Tell the districts that they are being listened to so there's someone to blame when they go ahead. Caesar tries to bring the attention back to the audience but I barely hear him for as the hours pass.

The first half hour or so focuses on the pre-arena events, the reaping, and the chariot ride through the Capitol, our training scores, and our interviews. There's this sort of upbeat soundtrack playing under it that makes it twice as awful because, of course, almost everyone on-screen is dead. Once we're in the arena, there's detailed coverage of the bloodbath and then the filmmakers basically alternate between shots of tributes dying and shots of me.

I try to keep it together knowing that the cameras will be catching my reaction to the images. I almost lose it when I watch myself killing Tristan and then felicity, sleeping in Eli's arms in the hayloft, Ezra saving me after the whipping and sharing a meal. I watch as Ezra applies the skin serum. I'm chased by the creature in the grain and then I watch as the tributes kill the little sleeping girl beneath me and steal her food. They show Elias and I standing just metres away from each other in district eight still oblivious to each other's presence. Then the bombing of eight and me digging up Katniss roots. Elias and I reunited and the genuine joy on his face. They show the two of us floating in the water and fishing on the beach. Then the music changed slightly as I'm attacked by Cecily and Elias takes his first life to save me. We sleep in the cave and I clean myself up with Cecily's backpack. I thought I had made myself look normal but the child on the footage still looks feral. Eli's nightmares start, only this part I haven't seen. Me sleeping on one side of the cave and Elias talking in his sleep on the other. "You can't kill her, don't kill my Melodie. She's all I have." He mutters. I try not to let the cameras see my face drop.

Then they show us fighting the boy for the boat and Eli's anger as the boy's weapon is pointed at me. A quick shot of Ezra peeking out from behind the rocks. I was right. He was following me. Elias and I split up again and I'm left alone in three. The explosion that kills the boy and me in the factory. The flames that suddenly roar to life and me struggling to breathe. Ezra right there again saving me and applying the burn cream to me rather than himself first. When he does take some it is the bare minimum. Maybe I was wrong about him using me for my items.

Ezra leaves me and then he's with Elias. They're standing with their knives drawn and their knives drawn for a moment but then they relax in unison.

"I thought I told you to stay away from her." Elias says.

"If I had stayed away then she would have burned to death. The deal was that I stay away if you keep her safe. You obviously can't do your job." Ezra says quietly.

"I was almost there. I only left her for a second but then she was gone."

"In that second it took to lose her she could have been killed. Be more careful next time then I won't have to do your job for you" Ezra spits.

The next shot is Ezra as Fleur creeps up behind him and slits his throat. A split screen while the scaly fire wolf chases me and Elias is attacked by Landon and Fleur. I'm pulled into the air by Fleur's net. I kill her and escape. I finally get to see what he was miming before he stepped out into that mine - 'I love you'. Then the explosion that tears Elias and Landon into a million pieces. Me screaming his name covered in blood.

Much bowing and cheering follows. My arm is about to fall off from waving when Caesar Flickerman finally bids the audience good night, reminding them to tune in tomorrow for the final interviews. As if they have a choice.


	16. Liar

My team and I are whisked off to the president's mansion for the victory banquet. It's so strange being here again after all this time walking in the same halls as my mother and I once did. Capitol officials and sponsors elbow each other out of the way trying desperately to get a picture with me and my mentors. I drink glasses of golden bubbling liquid in delicate flutes and barely notice as the moments flash by but I never let go of Katniss. I catch glimpses of President Coin standing in my grandfather's place, her cold little eyes glaring at me. I widen my smile and raise my head to show her that I'm not afraid. As I become increasingly intoxicated and the cameras become too much I find myself drifting further and further away from my group until I eventually slip past the guards and out into the halls.

I stumble through the maze of rooms being careful to avoid the pods set up for intruders. I know exactly where to go – the rose garden. Katniss wouldn't follow me here and I need to have a moment alone. I push open the doors and step into my mother's world.

The rose gardens began when my mother was a little girl so very long ago. Back then the roses were pure and beautiful unlike the monstrosities that replaced them once she was gone. She is buried here beneath the tiles but only me and the men who placed her there survive to keep that secret. I walk the pathway and count thirty six slabs of marble from the door. The age my mother was when she was killed. This is where she lies. Beneath her my grandmother and the stillborn son she died giving birth to. I try to imagine a world where my grandfather had not become president. A world where we were a normal family. My grandparents, uncle, mother and father, perhaps some cousins.

I sit on the bench beside her and tell them everything. I'm there for at least an hour before Katniss comes bursting through the doors.

"Melodie, what are you doing? We've had every peacekeeper within five miles out searching for you. I thought someone had taken you, I thought I'd lost another one..." she starts as the words trip over one another in panic.

"I was with my family." I say simply, tipping my head towards the huge marble slab engraved with Irises at my feet. It was placed there for my Grandmother Iris but mother always said she wanted to be buried her own mother and the brother she never got to have. Sometimes I used to wonder if it was losing the three of them that made my grandfather so bitter.

"Ten minutes then we're leaving. I'll tell them to stop looking. You need your rest for tomorrow." Katniss says quietly.

The sun is just beginning to rise up over the hills turning the sky that beautiful shade of orange when we finally arrive back at the training centre. I say goodnight to Katniss and Peeta then throw off my clothes and climb in between the sheets. The last thing I hear before I fall asleep is Effie screeching "You should have all been in bed hours ago. The interview is at two and tomorrow is going to be a big, big, big day.

The nightmares begin almost instantly. I spend my night being chased by invisible roaring creatures and Jabberjays replaying the screams of my mother in her last moments. The giant insect with my grandfather's face appears and I'm forced to choose between my loved ones again. I only make it halfway through the water before they all dive in and swim away from me. Tentacles emerge from the water and but me under and I'm choking, my lungs fill with water, Eli screams as Cecily holds a knife to his throat and he is begging for me to help him but I no matter how hard I swim I never get any closer. I wake up still screaming and covered in sweat. I find Katniss already in a chair beside my bed.

"I wish I could tell you that the first ones are the worst. I wish I could say that eventually it all goes and everything is normal but it isn't. You've seen Haymitch and the other victors. This is the best I can do right now." She says holding out the same two little pills she gave me before the arena.

"What are these things?" I ask groggily.

"They're made of a small amount of Tracker Jacker venom to make you forget for a few hours and a little sleep syrup to keep you resting. They don't always work but it's better than nothing."

I swallow them dry. "They effect is so familiar but I can't quite..."

That's when I remember. The venom must finally trigger a memory because they come in flashes like a camera taking still images. A cold white room with poor lighting. The young doctor with the needle. The weeks I spend in that hospital bed after my mother was killed. The yellow Jacker venom flowing into my veins that made me forget Ezra, Elias and the girl named Cora whom I was so close to. My friends and family erased so I wouldn't try so hard to escape the tower. I even stopped visiting my mother after a while. My grandfather telling me it was for my own good. I'm just about to tell Katniss when the sleep syrup takes hold and I fall quickly into sleep.

I wake up and do not recognise my surroundings at first. My view of the city on the interactive wall has been changed back to default and the wardrobe is empty. The thick, plush carpet has changed from pale pink to blue. I walk out into the corridor and realise my mistake. This is not my room. This was Eli's. I must have been sleepwalking again. I haven't done that since I was a little girl.

The atmosphere at breakfast is tense as I sip peppermint tea. Haymitch is more sober than I have ever seen him. I thought it would be a relief but it just puts me on edge. His eyes keep flashing to Katniss and Peeta's left hand is clenched tightly through the entire meal. Oblivious as ever Effie attempts conversation and ends up coaxing me into discussing the new line of wigs available at Mabel's Emporium this season so I play along just to take my mind off the games for a moment although I'm sure everyone else can see how ridiculous it is. I put on my best airhead voice and it seems to please her. Thankfully the stylists and prep team descend and they relieve me of the need to talk for the rest of the morning.

My team give me bright pink cheeks and oversized eyelashes in an attempt to make me look like a real Capitol resident but as soon as they finish Katniss comes in and makes then change it so I look more like myself. They know not to argue with her so they comply and I mouth my silent thanks as she leaves. Eventually I'm left with Cillian and he dresses me in a silky white blouse and black shorts with a high waist and a chunky gold belt. I thank him and we make our way to the interview.

The final interview it's self will take place right here in the sitting room. The sofas have been removed and replaced by two comfortable looking ornate armchairs for me and Caesar. He gives me a warm smile and kisses my cheek when I come in. "Congratulations Melodie. How are you dealing with the news?" he asks. He seems genuinely concerned.

"Not so bad, I suppose it hasn't sunk in yet. But the districts could still vote no, couldn't they?" I ask. He hesitates and I know neither of us truly believes it. I wonder if he ever wants the games to end. He would be out of a job if they ended after all.

"Of course they could. Let us hope for the best." He says. He gives my hand a reassuring squeeze and I know he's on my side. Even he couldn't really want the games to go on. His youngest daughter and only grandchild would be eligible after all. Coin could have entered them this year if she really wanted to and I bet seeing them at the reaping was enough to terrify him.

I stand in the corner with Katniss and Peeta while we wait for the sign that it is time to begin. They fidget constantly, Katniss bites her nails and Peeta keeps shifting his weight from foot to foot. Eventually Peeta speaks.

"Look, Haymitch keeps telling us not to worry you anymore because there's nothing we can do to help but I can't stand it anymore. The voting begins right after this interview ends and their choice will be based on the impression you make. You have their attention and they've had their revenge but there are still those out there who are angry. You might think that Coin will go ahead anyway but if enough people are against more games she can't. She has only been president for a few weeks and not everyone is happy about it. People are still holding onto the energy of the rebellion and there's not promise that they will stay quiet if they disagree strongly enough. The embers are still burning and they could easily reignite. Make them care about you, Melodie. You have to make them care." He says. I stare in shock – I think this is the most Peeta has ever said since we met. It was obvious that he was angry about these games but he is loyal to Katniss. He loves her too much to let her mentor alone.

A member of the camera crew beckons and I take my place in the chair then there's no more time to worry because someone is counting backwards from thirty. And then just like that, I'm being broadcast live to the whole of Panem. At least the only audience this time are my mentors and the camera crew. I tuck one ankle behind the other and sit up straight with my head raised. Caesar is wonderful, taking every dull answer I give and turning it into an extraordinary one by prodding gently until I give up enough information.

"Well Melodie, we know that you were only shown a small part of the interactions between young Ezra and Elias during the games but I'm sure you realise what was going on. How do you feel knowing that the two of them cared about you so much?" he asks.

"I had no idea. I mean, I knew that Elias and I were close friends but I didn't quite realise how much I needed him until he was gone." I say.

"And during the family interviews once we reached the final eight. The parents of both boys mentioned that you all used to be good friends as children. Did this have any effect on the choices you made?" he asks.

"I think that I was lucky to know so few of my fellow tributes. Some of the others had grown up next door to each other; they had gone to school every day and played together. I can't imagine losing anyone else so I guess my childhood was an advantage. I was touched that Ezra remembered. We were so young back then. We shared a crib while our mothers talked; my first word was 'Ezza'. That's what used to call him, you know? I'm pretty sure I learned to walk by using his head to push myself up." I say and I'm not sure if the sound I make is a laugh or a sob. I look to Peeta and he gives me a nod.

"And Elias?"

"Actually the first time we met I broke his nose. I always was a clumsy child. I cried and cried although he forgave me instantly. I couldn't bear to see anyone hurt back then but that's what the games do. It turns children into murderers, it tears families apart. It doesn't matter if you're from the Capitol or district twelve, we're all somebody's daughter or grandson or best friend. We can't let them keep turning us into monsters." I tell him. I hold his gaze to make sure he knows that I'm talking about his family too.

He tries to turn the focus of the interview back to the games. "That song that Elias asked you to sing, it sounded so familiar. Where did you learn it?" Caesar asks.

"My mother said that she learned it in District Eleven when she met my father. She said that whenever she sang it she felt close to him so I guess I just picked it up. Eli used to love it so much. We used to sing it together when we played together. We used to pretend to be farmers or miners or fishermen in the districts. They used to make the Districts sound like a fairytale place, like the people were somehow less real that we were. The Capitol residents celebrated the games because that's what their parents did and their parents before them. They're convinced that the districts deserve their punishment and that they truly are a game. The parades, the interviews, placing bets on your favourites. The truth is that the games are just another way of controlling us. If the games go on then nothing will change. Punishing us is just a magical solution, an illusion really."

Caesar nods and begins to bring a close to the final interview. I haven't done enough to change their minds. I know what I have to do but it is incredibly dangerous and probably reckless. I've lost the ability to gage when enough is enough.

"Anything else to add, Melodie?" he asks. I clear my throat and look straight into the camera as I address the whole of Panem.

"Yes, Caesar, I do. Last month around sixty children including several toddlers and three babies were trapped in front of the president's mansion with the purpose of being used as human shields. We have strong evidence that President Alma Coin ordered the bombs disguised as Hunger Games Parachutes which killed all of these children. When a group including Rebel medics rushed in to help a secondary bomb was activated killing and seriously injuring many more resulting in the death of Primrose Everdeen. Primrose captured all of our hearts and I know most of you watching cared deeply for her. Without her there would be no Mockingjay and no rebellion. President Coin is no different from my grandfather. If this is what she is capable of then she cannot be trusted. Vote no for your children and for Prim." I say.

Caesar stares at me in shock. The camera crew shout between one another and it's obvious that that could not turn to cameras off before my speech was complete. I'm in a soft of daze of people rush around me and I'm aware of Haymitch shouting, Katniss pulling me from my seat, My feet thundering down the staircase usually used only by avoxes behind the elevator. Peacekeepers flood the streets running towards us but I'm pushed into a Capitol car and we're tearing down the road faster than I've ever travelled.

I don't comprehend the words coming from my mentors' mouths but they're obviously panicked. Haymitch is shouting down and pulling down the mouthpiece from his earpiece. I am numb, it's like everything is happening to somebody else. Everyone has been home watching the interview so the streets are clear but the further we travel the more pour out of their houses and into the streets. We fly past the city circle and see them all forming a sea of colour in front of the President's mansion. I have to hand it to them, if there's one thing the Capitol people care about its protecting their own and the news seems to have really hit a nerve. I feel a needle enter my arm and I look at Katniss in shock. The effects are instantaneous and the world fades to black for what feels like the thousandth time. The next thing I'm aware of is Haymitch's voice.

"Well, you've really done it now sweetheart." He says.


	17. Journey

It is completely dark. Ratting under my feet suggests movement but there is little noise except the ragged breathing of others around me. I'm aware of another body pressed beside me and warm moist air on my cheek. I reach out and find a hand in the darkness. Small, slim, feminine. Katniss. "Stand up carefully and get ready to jump as soon as the door opens." she whispers. I feel Peeta's hands push me gently upwards and I'm on my feet.

"The train won't fully stop but it should slow down." Peeta tells me. Great - If Coin doesn't kill me the fall might. This might not be the fancy tribute train but even the cargo trains reach 140 miles per hour on a good day.

The rattling lessens a little and the door screeches open flooding the tiny room with daylight. Katniss jumps first, then Peeta and I. Haymitch stumbles out last and by the time he tumbles onto the grass the train has sped up again and it has disappeared behind a hill. Haymitch picks himself up and grumbles, refusing help from Katniss. He whispers something inaudible into his mouthpiece and the hovercraft materialises. We're sucked upwards one by one by some kind of forcefield that feels like somebody has attached a robe around my waist.

The forcefield finally releases me and we're greeted by a young woman with hair like melted toffee and shocking sea-green eyes. Her face is motherly and kind but she has an air of authority that suggests we should not cross her. She introduces herself to me as Themis although Haymitch and my mentors already seem familiar with her. I don't recognise her strange accent; it's like nothing I've ever heard. The words are comforting and melodic with a gentle rhythm like a song.

I stand behind them shyly like a small child hanging on to her parents' legs and refuse to catch the eye of anyone else on board. They all look similar, light eyes and hair with varying levels of tan on their skin. I'm left alone in a small room containing just a small sofa and a barren bookcase. I stare out of the window for something to do but the world flashes by so quickly that it gives me a headache just watching it. Now that the rush of adrenaline has worn of I can feel the damage I have done to my ankle. It has swollen to twice the size and is already turning a curious shade of green-yellow. I sit and try to keep it raised.

The windows go black after a while but still nobody comes to retrieve me. Alone with my thoughts I finally realise what an awful mistake I have made. There may not be anyone I love left to hurt but that won't stop Coin punishing Katniss or Peeta or the people they care about. I wonder if Mrs Everdeen is safe, if Gale and his family will be targeted. Of course they will. Katniss loves Gale whether romantic or otherwise and Coin has already proven that she is ruthless. I have embarrassed her in front of the whole of Panem and for that she will never forgive me.

I begin to wonder how all of this was planned so quickly. The car was already waiting for us, the train slowed down just a few metres from the hovercraft and I escaped with nothing worse than a sprained ankle. It was too ... convenient. What did they have planned before my speech?

It occurs to me that having three mentors was not for our benefit nor was it just for moral support. It ensured that there would always be someone looking out for us while the others were elsewhere. Before the reaping when Katniss told me the truth about the bombing of the children something changed in her, Peeta was less distant. Something had given them new hope.

I remember all of the times that I found Elias with Peeta and they stopped talking as soon as they noticed me. Was he in on it too? He sacrificed himself so that I would be the victor but was that really just out of love? It was a huge sacrifice to make to a girl he had only been reunited with for a few weeks. Then Ezra and Elias talking about a 'deal' to protect me and not doing their 'job'. Was he in on it too?

My thoughts are disturbed by the sound of a man clearing his throat. At first I think it is Gale but then I notice that he is not like the images I have seen. His eyes are larger, darker. His jaw line is less pronounced and after looking for a moment I see the subtle signs that he is younger than he appears. He is slightly shorter, slimmer, and less muscular.

"You're Melodie, right? I'm Rory. Katniss asked me to show you to your room." He says. I try to place him and find myself imagining him younger with more childlike features. His is one of the faces from the train station at the 74th reaping. He was introduced as one of Katniss's cousins. Gale's brother. I breathe as small sigh of relief – one less person that Coin can torture just yet.

I follow him down the hallway until we find the card with my name. Slid into a small plastic holder in the door is the name 'Melodie'. I'm glad they have not included my surname and make a note to myself to change it if this thing ever ends. This is another sign that they have had time to prepare – a small selection of my clothes from home already hangs in the wardrobe. He tells me to press the little blue button if I need anything and I thank him. He gives me a shy smile before disappearing back into the labyrinth of halls and I throw myself down on the soft bed.

I'm vaguely aware Katniss asking me if I'm coming to dinner but I don't full awaken. All of my limbs feel heavy and the drowsiness pulls me under again every time I wake. I'm not sure how much time passes but it can't be far off midday when Katniss returns and rouses me. The events of the last few weeks have stolen all my energy and this thing still isn't over. Last night, for the first time, I sleep dreamlessly.

I dress quickly and try to tame my hair then follow Katniss into some sort of elevator along with Peeta. He looks at her with such love that I wish that I still had my heart rather than the dark empty hollow where it used to reside. I glance down and see that she is holding onto his hand so tightly that her knuckles are white but he does not flinch. More than anything it makes me feel lonely.

I'm dazed by the sudden change in light from the semi-translucent walls as the capsule begins to float gently down from the hovercraft landing solidly on some kind of dock that tightens around the base keeping us in place. The door slides upwards and we step out into the light.

The first thing I notice is the cold. It must be at least freezing here and I'm still wearing a thin dress. The hills to our left are capped with snow and there's a thin layer of cloud drifting lazily. The buildings are spread out beneath them and I struggle to keep up with my mentors as they stride towards them.

"Which district is this?" I ask Peeta quietly.

"Melodie, this isn't even Panem." He tells me. That explains the accents, I think. Katniss gives me a wide smile more genuine than I've seen in a long time.

"We're not alone." She whispers.


	18. Fuse

I glance behind us and see Gale emerging from the second capsule with a woman I recognise to be his mother. Behind her another boy who looks to be around eleven or twelve and then Rory. They are each holding one hand of the little girl who can't be more than six years old. I give a quick sob of relief. They are not dead. They are here, with me, in this place that is not Panem.

Once inside the sturdy red brick building the only sounds are the tapping of shoes on wooden boards and the grumbling of my stomach. It has been almost twenty four hours since I last ate. We follow Themis until we reach a room containing a large table surrounded by a ring of chairs. The wood is covered in scratches and the padding on the threadbare cushions has long since flattened. Themis notices the look on my face and laughs.

"All of the furniture in this place is over two hundred years old; it was built here when we were first establishing Patria. It was new when my great-grandmother ran the place but we never got around to replacing it. We like to think of it as antique rather than just old." She says. I'm still not convinced. It looks sturdy enough but even in the president's mansion nothing is more than a few decades old. She gestures and I take a seat at the side opposite her. Peeta and Katniss sit on her left, Haymitch on her right. Gale and Rory are the last I recognise of the six others who take their seats around the table.

"I know that you're probably dying for an explanation by now and we intend to give you one. Right after lunch, that is." She says pressing a little button on her cuff. Two young women and an older man appear carrying large trays of food. I'm surprised when they talk freely between themselves and to others at the table. I wonder if they have Avoxes here in this place that is not Panem.

Rory sits beside me and offers me polite conversation but everyone can tell that I'm itching to begin. I practically inhale three sandwiches and a gigantic slice of cake then sit chewing on my nails until everyone else is finished. The same people come to remove our plates and Themis thanks them like old friends. In the Capitol we aren't even allowed to make eye contact without someone getting punished. It feels different here. I like it. Eventually Themis clears her throat and we turn our attention to her.

"I know that everyone around this table has had varying participation in and knowledge of this project but for those of you who are less informed I will start from the beginning as all good stories do," She smiles at me.

"We have always known that other countries like us survived but in the beginning there was so few of us that we assumed that they were just stories. My mother used to tell me about a place like us far across the sea. That place, as it is known now, is Panem. Fifty years ago we managed to get the first glance of you all and we were hopeful. Our country of Patria was well established by then, our cities thriving and getting by just fine. Sure, we had our struggles, but overall it was good. Eventually, though, we got brave enough to attempt contact with Panem. We sent thirty of our best men in the most advanced hovercraft we owned to a meeting with the President. They wanted things we could not give them though and it ended badly. The hovercraft was destroyed and every man on board was killed. Not before they gave us the most important piece of information though. Knowledge of The Hunger Games was enough to interest the entire county. Everyone wanted to help. It took another twenty five years before we had the resources to do anything about it." She says. She looks to Katniss who takes over the story.

"After the rebellion I wanted so badly to kill Coin instead of Snow but if I couldn't. I'd killed enough. I knew that not everyone was happy about Coin's new regime and that's all we needed. There are more peacekeepers in the districts and people are even worse off than before. Nothing has changed for the better and people are beginning to suspect that they never will. Panem might be bigger but Patria has been advancing for longer. In Panem only the Capitol control the advancements in technology and apart from Thirteen the Districts are unarmed. We have spent the last few months arranging away to get to Coin. Turns out she's predictable after all – announcing that there could be more Games lit a spark and your honesty about the bombs has reignited the flames. There's a lot of unrest and she will have to address them soon. That's when we strike." She says.

I stare at her with an open mouth.

"That is the stupidest plan I've ever heard." I say frankly. I'm done playing nice. "Coin will be protected by hundreds and probably already has every nuclear missile in Panem pointed at you right now. Do you really expect that she's going to go down that easily?" I say. There's stony silence as others around me look at each other nervously.

Haymitch gives a short, sharp laugh. "I knew I liked her for some reason. This side of you has ... spunk!"

"Well, it isn't quite as simple as Katniss makes it sound. We're just trying to give you a basic understanding." Gale says. I see him give an amused smile to Katniss but she does not return it.

"Exactly," Themis says "but that's enough information for one day. You don't have to worry too much about that, you've been through enough and we don't want to overwhelm you. Here in Patria we believe in honesty so if at any point you feel that you need more information just ask. There are no secrets here."

"We're going to be pretty busy today but there's a train waiting to take you to the nearest city if you want to find out what Patria has to offer." says a young woman beside Themis.

"Hey Rory, why don't you go with Melodie?" Gale asks. He flashes a mischievous smile and I'm surprised by how natural it looks. To me Gale is that sombre, silent face on the television. Another snapshot of the people they all were before the games. Katniss looks to Themis nervously and then back to me.

The Hovercar waits just outside of the compound to take us to the train. I walk around it slowly admiring the long silvery body and sleek lines while Rory waits patiently by the door. My guard follow behind.

We pass between green hills and over rivers then reach the station in just ten minutes. Unlike the victor's train this one has seats all facing the front and it has obvious signs of wear. Rory and I sit at the front so that I can ignore the six armed men behind us. I'm beginning to feel like a prisoner.

We travel across the longest bridge I've ever seen in my life. We cross miles and miles of water but at the speed we're travelling it takes little more than a few minutes. I see the excitement on Rory's face and realise that it is probably the first time he has travelled by train. When we finally pull into the station on the outskirts of the city I don't even bother to muffle my gasp.

Among the tall gleaming buildings the people pass us by with smiles. They are not like the people of The Capitol whose colours are bright and harsh nor do they die themselves strange colours or wear huge wigs. They are like the people of the districts if they were healthy and strong. District four with their light eyes and hair in a world where nobody is dying of starvation. The dark passenger inside me wonders if we could just live here permanently and leave Panem as it is. The last whisper of light reminds me that if we did I would be no better than my grandfather. Life is a constant battle between the two.

I walk down the streets and notice the cracked sidewalk and imperfections in the glass surrounding me. The buildings may shine but they are obviously not new. There are people here so hunched and beaten down that they must be at least in their first hundred. They're a shock to my eyes – in the districts people rarely survive so long and in The Capitol people hide their age with surgery. Perhaps perfection is not so important to them. One of the men smile at me and etched into his face is a map of the world. The creases and imperfections tell me that he has lived a long life here in Patria.

The guards close in tighter around us as we draw closer to the centre of the city. Their identical blue uniforms and swinging weapons hardly make us inconspicuous. Every person we pass stares. Some take out tiny spheres which float towards us and snap pictures before floating back to their owner. The close proximity of the armed men combines with the flashing of the spheres and staring of others is too much. I feel my breathing quicken, my heart race. I'm pressed beside Rory and through the guards I can hardly see where I am going. Their movement forces me to keep walking, parading me through the streets. I begin to ask them to move but they ignore me. I try a little louder until I'm shouting. Even more people flood into the streets to see what where the noise is coming from. I am screaming, beating my hands on the guards and trying not to hurt Rory.

Suddenly he is Landon and the guards are a net. He's talking to me but I don't hear the words. His hand reaches out and in a moment of confusion I knock him away from me and he stumbles backwards. There's a crunch as one of the guards reacts too slowly and steps on his arm. He cries out and I bend down to help apologising through tears but a rough pair of hands are already wrapping around me and I'm pulled backwards kicking, screaming and biting into something soft like flesh. The men shout something at the people who back away instantly. The guards pull down masks and then the air is filled with blue smoke. I feel myself being pulled into a hovercraft but I can't see Rory. I try to make them tell me where he is but I'm getting sleepier, my limbs heavy pulling me under. My something red and liquid runs into my eyes. Then I'm floating.

When I awake I hear the muffled sound of arguing somewhere close by. At least two female and one male. I pull off the wires and tubes then stand on shaky legs. There's a beeping sound and I find that the source is what looks like a small red bead embedded in the skin of my forearm. I try to pull in from my skin but it is deep. The beeping grows louder and more frantic as my nails try to dig in out. The door slides open and Katniss pushes past a young doctor. Peeta, ever the diplomat, apologises for her. Gale follows behind.

"Oh Melodie. I knew I shouldn't have let you go. Themis said that it would be perfectly safe with the guards in the smallest city." she says.

"Where's Rory? Is he okay?" I ask desperately. I couldn't live with myself if I hurt another one. That part of my life is supposed to be over.

"Shh, he's fine. He has a broken arm and a concussion but nothing that can't be fixed."

I raise my hand up to my head and feel the flesh ragged and hot. The young doctor gently pulls my hand away. "Don't you touch those stitches or you'll be left with a nasty scar until you get home. We don't fix things like that here." He says. He holds little box over the bead in my arm until the harsh beeping stops. "You shouldn't mess with that either. It will tell us if you're in trouble again. Remove it and it could be too late by the time we find you."

"I want to see Rory." I demand.

"You can't." He replies simply. I look to Katniss then Gale. Neither of them catch my eye.

"Perhaps tomorrow." Peeta tells me softly.


	19. Flash

The young doctor returns once all of the needles and tubes have been removed and he convinces me to sit in the ridiculous wheelchair so that the nurse can move me. I insist that I can walk and no longer require being treated like a child but he is adamant so I eventually give in. The compromise is that I get to change into my own clothes rather than the embarrassing flowery paper nightgown. I ask if I can see Rory now but he shakes his head.

I'm wheeled into a bright, airy room decorated only in blues. There's the gentle rushing of waves which are barely audible and a balding man wearing one hoop earring. The nurse leaves and I hear the lock slide across. We sit in silence for the best part of the hour that follows and he looks at me expectantly for the entire time but I refuse to speak. I know why I am here. They think I'm losing it. I probably am, but perhaps that is the correct response to becoming a murderer. The fact that I feel the heavy, deep ache alone means that there must be a small chunk of me left in there.

"You think I'm crazy." I eventually tell him. It isn't a question. He raises one eyebrow.

"Do you think you're crazy?" he asks.

"That's why Rory doesn't want to see me. He knows I'm broken. I hurt him." I say.

"But you didn't mean to."

"No." I tell him.

More uncomfortable silence. He suggests we try something different so I play along. He asks me to tell him about the last time I was truly happy. I tell him about playing checkers with Katniss in the tribute tower. We focus on making the sounds and colours brighter and clearer. I strengthen delicate sound of Katniss laughing and the feeling of the plush carpet beneath my bare feet. The way Peeta's eyes light up when he sees her happy even briefly. The smell of lunch still hanging in the air mixed with the scent from the flowers on the coffee table. Lilacs. They grow more solid and I concentrate until I think perhaps I could almost reach out and touch them. Elias teases me and I look into those bright green eyes shining out against dark skin. Those little creases around his eyes when he smiles.

But then it becomes too real, too bright. Suddenly the walls of the room fade and they're replaced by cloudy sky. The carpet is replaced by thick snow surrounding a pool of blood. Elias shrinks further and further away until he is across the boundary between district two and three. Then Landon materialises just in time to be blasted into a million pieces again and I'm screaming in frustration because I can't stop it. I never can. A pair of hands rouses me from my flashback.

We try again. This time we use a memory that does not include anyone or anything from the games. I choose feeding the brightly coloured birds in the park with my mother. She is carrying me on her hip and I'm close enough to smell her skin. She smells like a mixture of violets and lemongrass. It is summer and although the sun has set turning the sky a million shades of red the air is still hot and humid. She has just returned from a trip to district eleven and her skin has turned from pure white to soft caramel. We sing all the way back to our apartment although others out on their way to parties stare. My mother is the President's Daughter; she's the most popular woman in the Capitol. She doesn't have to worry about being judged. Her two guards follow us the entire way. Elias' father and his older brother. The scene changes again and I'm crouched in the cupboard because my mother told me to stay here. She has been gone for almost half an hour.

The sound of struggling and my mother's pleading stopped a few minutes ago but I'm too scared to move. I'm weeping as quietly as I can so they don't hear me. I can still hear their boots on the floorboards and they come closer. They open the cupboard but I'm hidden between mother's gowns so I hold my breath. With the door open I can see my her. Her head lies in a puddle of blood and her eyes are wide open. They're looking right at me but I can't let myself scream. Her guards silently enter after a few seconds. Elias' brother finds me and tells me to stay quiet. I let out a soft sob but it's enough to alert one of the intruders to his presence. He moves away from me so the other man doesn't know I'm here. There's a struggle and by the time they find me only Eli's father and I are still alive. It was me. I was the one who killed Eli's brother. I haven't thought about it since that day in the arena and now that I'm not longer receiving the tracker jacker injections the memory is returning. I finally start to weep but there are hands on me again.

My eyes open and Landon is sitting in the chair opposite me with that hungry, desperate look I saw on him when he killed the little girl under the tree. His knife is in his hand. I fly across the table that separates up and wrench my nails through his flesh before he can attack me. He is caught by surprise but I continue to thrash and hit his body with my fists. Both of our beads beep frantically and the door swings open. I'm dragged backwards and I see what I've done. The man bleeding on the floor at my feet, his hands pulled up protecting his head. Two armed guards drag me away but they don't need to use much force. I'm completely limp and no longer fighting them. They're too rough and every jerking move they make hurts. I know that I'm in no position to complain so I don't even try to escape as they march me down the halls and back into the bed with straps. The liquid pouring into my veins sedates me but does not make me sleep. I can still hear everything, feel everything. It only lasts for a few hours but being trapped inside my own body makes it feel like years.

Katniss argues with the doctor once more but this time he gives in and the needle is removed. Within an hour I regain the ability to move my limbs and I sit up carefully. Katniss is waiting in the seat beside me in her mockingjay armour. There's an outfit hanging on the peg ready for me.

"We hadn't planned for you to leave for another three days but I convinced Themis to let you go now. The hovercraft is waiting for you as soon as you're dressed." She says. I look at my wrist and notice the bright red band. I twist my arm so I can read the words. I am now classed as mentally unstable. I have the bracelet to prove it.

"But-" I begin

"Melodie, it isn't safe here. Letting them parade you around the city with all of those people and leaving you with that idiot this morning has caused enough damage. I try to make the right choices but I keep making things worse. You're on every news station and in every newspaper in the country. I haven't done the one thing I promised I would. You'll be better in the safe house with Gale's family. Hazelle will look out for you much better than I can." she says.

I know by the defeated look in her eyes not to argue. I dress quickly and then we meet Peeta in the hall. They walk me to the hovercraft and this time the escort of guards walk further away. Every time one tries to come closer Katniss glares at them and they quickly retreat.

We reach the ladder and it's time for the goodbye but I'm tired of losing people. I'm tired of being alone and they are the only people I feel close to. Everyone else is gone. I pull the two of them into a hug at once. Peeta returns it instantly but Katniss stiffens for a moment before relaxing. "One more week then this will all be over." She whispers and for a moment it feels like having a family. I reach out and I'm frozen to the ladder as it retracts pulling me away from them. I see Katniss's hand slide into Peeta's and I smile before they disappear from view.

Once inside I find another selection of armed guards waiting for me. The journey is short so I sit in a small compartment lined with seats and try to ingore them as we travel. I can't help but hate them all with their identical hair and eyes. I find it hard to distinguish between their faces but each one wears the same blank expression. We are released from the hovercraft once we reach what seems to be a little village and they march me down the path. Without Katniss I to stop them they close in on me again and I feel my heart race. Luckily there's somebody waiting for me at the door of the little house to relieve me from them. It's Rory. I walk to him slowly but he doesn't seem afraid like I expected to be. He even gives a shy smile as he tells the guards they can go.

"I'm so, so sorry. Your arm – is it – are you?" I stutter as the words trip over each other.

"I'm fine, really. All fixed before the end of the next day. It wasn't your fault. It was those idiots out there." He tells me. I give him a grateful smile although it drops quickly. Smiling takes a lot of effort these days. The house is one story tall and is not particularly large but the gardens outside are beautiful. Inside we pass a comfortable looking library, a couple of bedrooms, a living area and a generous dining room.

"I assumed you would be helping them." I say. He bows his head a little and gives a half-frown. I notice the little wrinkle it makes between his eyebrows.

"Gale wouldn't let me. He said that somebody needs to look after Vick and Posy and my mother while he's gone but I think that's just an excuse to keep me out of the way." He admits.

I'm just about to try to muster up something comforting to say when we reach a small kitchen and find the rest of the Hawthorne family in it. I can see how they passed for Katniss's cousins now. They all have the same dark hair and grey eyes which are a relief from the masses of Patria people. Posy sits on the bench beside her mother with flour all over her clothes and butter in her hair. Hazelle doesn't notice me at first but then brushes herself off in a flustered way before greeting me warmly. She gently puts her hand on the side of my arm and for the first time I don't panic at a stranger's touch. Her smile is warm and genuine. The way a real mother should be.

"We're so happy you're here." She says and I even consider believing her. Nobody can be happy to have a mentally unstable girl who has already injured one of her children hanging around her home. I'm even more surprised when she leads me gently to Posy and suggests that I help to make biscuits while she makes a call. Rory sits with Vick and begins to ice the cupcakes in swirls of red.

Posy swings her legs and wipes her face with the back of her arm further covering her bright pink dress in specs of white. The dough is rolled in a perfect rectangle and the cutters are spread out beside her. She picks up the one shaped like a flower and hands it to me.

"Here, you can have this one. Or you can have any but that one is the prettier." She says.

"That's okay. I like this one just fine." I say quietly. I hold it while she pushes her own cutter into the dough and removes the heart shapes pieces.

"Here, I'll show you then you can do it too. Peeta showed me." She says proudly then takes her little hand and wraps it around mine. She flips the cutter in my hand then presses in down so it leaves a flower shaped hole. She gives me a wide smile then goes back to her own. We continue until all of it is gone and I promise not to tell when she eats a little of the raw dough. We keep our backs turned to the boys and she makes me eat a little too and Vick asks what we're doing then we laugh like it's the funniest thing we've ever done. I get lost in the moment and almost forget why we're here. But only almost.

We finish making the cookies then I help Hazelle make dinner although I don't know how to do much without supervision. I rarely got a chance to cook in my tower with the head housekeeper breathing down my neck about making a mess plus all of my meals have been prepared for the last fourteen years of my life. Hazelle is patient, though, and soon we're serving plates of fish and vegetables. We sit around the table with the radio playing in the background but instead of the approved capitol playlists they play all kinds of music I've never heard and men talk between. They introduce the county news and the first story is about Panem. My name is mentioned and Rory jumps up to turn it off before I can hear the rest of the story.

I offer to help wash the dishes but Posy demands that I read her a story instead. Hazelle insists so I allow Posy to pull me by the hand to her room. All of the books in the little library are reprints of older ones so the pages are stiff to turn at first. I sit on the edge of Hazelle's bed apposite her and begin to read her the one about the girl called Cinderella but she is asleep before I reach the fifth page. I tuck the blankets around her and wonder how it came to be that a little girl so sweet is trapped in a world so harsh and dangerous. Her face in full and healthy now but her stature is small in a way that suggests she wasn't always so well fed. I whisper goodnight then ask Rory to show me to my room. He points me to a room decorated in pretty shades of lilac and I climb under the covers without bothering to remove my clothes. I fall asleep with a distinct feeling of belonging. I tell myself not to hold onto the feeling too tightly because everything I touch breaks. Without Katniss's fire to protect me I feel fragile but Hazelle's warmth is something I want to keep.


	20. Awaken

The first night is the worst. The injured therapist and Eli's brother join the mass of faces in my nightmares. I check the clock beside my bed each time I wake and each time little over an hour has passed. I finally give up trying to sleep and creep out of the back door into the garden. I sit on the swinging bench is the middle of the lawn and stare at the house until my skin is as numb as my mind. It is nearing first light when Rory emerges with a huge blanket and takes a seat beside me. We are silent but the quiet is warm and pleasant. Each night I talk to him a little more, I tell him about the games and the nightmares that rouse me from sleep. I find myself noticing little things like the way his skin smells faintly of apples or the way the little mole on his neck looks like a bird taking flight at the right angle. I'm convinced that he has grown at least an inch since we met. Eventually we fall into a habit of talking in the swing all night until I fall asleep and each morning I wake up in my own bed with no recollection of how I got there. The voices beneath are quieter when I am with him.

I count down the days until the end of the week. We help Hazelle cook and clean and we take walks with the guards around the area but I can't really concentrate knowing what the end of the week might bring. We could be blasted into non-existence or this could all be over. We could be captured and tortured, I could lose them again. Coin could keep me alive just to make me watch the last people I care about suffer. It won't be quickly either. It will be drawn out for as long as possible. As the day draws closer I manage to keep less and less food down until I lose what little fat I had gained since leaving the arena. Hazelle fusses over me worrying that I'm ill but I can't be annoyed at her because I know she only does it because she truly cares.

On the fifth day Rory and Vick are gone again and for the first time Hazelle and Posy are walking with their guards outside the house so I sneak into the living room and turn on the TV. I know from watching Hazelle that there are many, many channels but the news is the easiest to reach. I flick to channel 1 and watch as the desk appears with the two women with the generic Patria appearance. People are so different in Panem but there's little variation between these people. I find it unnerving that they are so similar and begin to find that the Hawthornes are the only breath of fresh air I receive. I'm even starting to suspect that all of the guards are clones of the same man because each one is almost identical. I never thought that something so small would make me miss the Capitol. At least Caesar is interesting to look at.

They are already talking with a picture of Katniss and Peeta on the screen. I'm too busy staring at their faces and realising how much I miss them so it takes me a second to concentrate on what they are saying. I turn the volume up and glance nervously to the window to make sure nobody is coming. They have made it clear I'm not to watch the news for fear of me hearing something about myself.

I watch as they show guests extracts from various Hunger Games over the last seventy six years for the first time to get their reactions. They vary from pale with shock to horror and disgust. Out of the twenty or so people who are interviewed four ask to be excused before the clip is finished, two leave in anger and one man is sick right then and there on the studio floor. We are so numb to it that even our worst reactions on reaping day are muted. They show the reaping of Katniss and Peeta where she volunteers for Prim then briefly cover the rebellion and Coin's plans. They show my part in all of this and they say that they understand why I injured those people now. I check my bracelet just to be sure. Yep, still mentally unstable.

Themis really wasn't lying when she said that there are no secrets here. They say that all is going well and they expect their final move to be received without problems. They must really be confident in their people and technology to broadcast such things because they give most of the important details. Those who still remain by the end of the show they are all weeping or pacing and they everyone is talking about how they want to do anything they can to help. They end with a clip of Peeta thanking everyone for their support in that charming way of his.

"Oh Melodie, I told them they should take this thing out of here but nobody _listens._ You don't need to see those things again; you're supposed to get better. You're doing so well her. You don't need these memories." Hazelle tells me as she turns it off. I look up in a moment of shame and feel the sorrow in her dark eyes because in that moment she looks so worn and frail that I am scared to breathe for the fear that she might shatter. She is a fearless mother and a wonderful woman but at times like this I can see that she is just like us. She is Atlas with the world on her shoulders only she tries to bear the weight of her children and me too. It is breaking her quickly and each day she looks a little more beaten down.

"The memories will stay whether I watch or not, whether I close my eyes or stare into the sun. Even I can't even escape in sleep and I'm tired of pretending to belong here. I spend the entire day terrified that I'm going to hurt one of you again." I say.

"Now don't you talk like that, you belong here as much as anyone else. We all love you and that makes you part of the family in my eyes just like Katniss. We've been invited to dinner so you go get yourself changed and then we're going to get out of this place for a while. There's a dress hanging up for you in the wardrobe." she tells me with an air of authority but the small smile tells me that she isn't really angry.

"I felt bad so I told mom that I ate the cookie dough before it was cooked but I didn't tell on you and mom says that you can get salmon from the egg and get sick then I told her you ate it too because I didn't want you to get sick too." Posy tells me as she tugs at my hand and that same line forms between her eyes as Hazelle when she worries which is often. I tell her that it's okay because I feel fine and don't have salmonella but she still looks worried. I guess it's a good sign that this is her biggest worry in a world with so many other dangers. The day after tomorrow will decide which demons she must face.

I find a beautiful powder blue dress hanging in the wardrobe and dress quickly, sliding into the matching heels then before I know it Posy is dragging me out of the door dressed in at least seven shades of pink and Hazelle is wearing an elegant gown that suddenly transforms her from weary mother to ordinary, smiling woman. The guards close in too soon for me to truly enjoy the illusion but I do everything I can to hold onto the moment. We pile into one of the Hovercars with the blacked out windows holding on to Posy for comfort. She wiggles in her seat and swings her legs until we finish soaring over the hills and we're released in front on the most beautiful house I've ever seen. It looks like something out of one of my books at home and the guards usher us quickly into a magnificent hallway. Everything from the paintings on the walls to the elaborate furniture seems so old it could have grown from the earth itself. We turn into the room to our left and stand shocked as I find the room filled with people I know standing in gowns and drinking from delicate flutes. Peeta is the first to greet me.

"Happy Birthday, Melodie." He says as he kisses me on the cheek. "I told them this was too much but they insisted." He whispers when his is close enough. I'm still shocked and I little confused. I have lost count of the days since the reaping so I have no idea whether it is my birthday or not but I assume they have checked. I find Katniss in the crowd along with Cillian, Ana, my prep team, Effie, Gale, Vick, Elias and Rory among many other Patria residents. Wait, what? Elias can't be here. I take another look and realise that I had imagined him standing over there leaning on the wall with a drink in his hand. He seemed so solid but that is impossible. I try to shake it off.

I walk to Katniss and we pull each other into an embrace because even after everything I have missed her. She became my defender and I feel safer hiding behind her flames. I would say that she feel like a sister if the words didn't feel so bitter and alien in my mouth. I could never replace Primrose nor would I want to. But still, there's a feeling of family among us as we all wander among the guests pretending that inside we're not dark and empty and broken.

"You must come and thank our host. He is simply charming!" Effie tells me and I trudge unwillingly to the centre of the room. He is surrounded by a crowd of fair-haired people who disperse as Effie and I approach. She is a brief rainbow on a bleak grey day among these people and for once I am glad to have her here. The man revealed by the crowd must be little over twenty years old and wearing the most ridiculous suit I have ever seen. Every piece is a different colour from the pink floral cravat to the mint green pants and purple jacket so that it takes everything I have not to laugh out loud. Once you get past the initial shock of it all he is actually quite handsome, his eyes are a pretty sort of amber and his light brown hair hangs in thick waves around his face. I introduce myself and he kisses my hand and welcomes me to his home but once I have thanked him I slip away as quickly as possible leaving the two of them together. I retreat back to Hazelle as the music begins.

"Henri Windsor. More money than good sense but generally harmless enough. We wanted a little party in the garden but they seemed adamant and we didn't want to offend anyone. If it gets too much you just tell me and we'll go." Hazelle tells me. But it doesn't get too much, in fact at times I even begin to enjoy it. The food is good and the drinks flow freely leaving us perfectly prepared for the dancing that follows. I dance until I feel like my legs are going to fall watching the others spin around us. At one point I even see Peeta graciously pass Katniss onto Gale so they can dance together and he takes my hand. It's obvious that the three of them are overworked and underfed but tonight they act well.

It's getting late and Posy is yawning when she suddenly points behind me and says "That boy is watching you. Who is he?" I look over my shoulder but the stop on the wall is empty. I put it down to her being overtired and overexcited but I can't help but wonder if she has seen him too. I consider asking her what he looked like but suddenly feel ridiculous and let it go.

The best part of the night is when Katniss makes me close my eyes and they reveal a beautiful cake with the branches of a cherry blossom tree winding around the tiers. A flock of little birds take flight from the branches and it's the most beautiful thing I've seen in a long time. I embrace Peeta and thank him and wonder where he ever made time to do this for me. "Vick helped. He's quite talented, actually." Peeta tells me then I hug Vick too and he's slightly embarrassed for a moment but then he gives in and returns it.

I notice Rory standing beside me looking amazing in his crisp suit and the music begins again, slower this time. I pull him onto the floor in a haze of happiness and we do not leave again until we are almost the only ones left. We sit on the ornate loveseat and I rest my head on his shoulder and feel something stir inside me that I thought was gone, another speck of light igniting among the darkness. The promise that perhaps one day I will find the strength to love again. Perhaps Rory's pure, unspoiled light will be enough to substitute the fire. Perhaps he is that cool, fresh breeze that I need when I'm standing too close to the flames. He is not tainted by The Games and I doubt that darkness grows in him like the rest of us. I don't remember falling asleep but when morning comes I'm in my own bed at the safe house and there is only one day left on our countdown.


	21. Reaching

When I awaken only Rory and Katniss are in the kitchen and they are both standing with their backs to me by the sink. The radio is playing but they do not notice me in time to turn in off. I catch the end of a segment before they turn. "- and we have received reports of the newest arena being constructed just a few miles away from the home of our newest friends Miss Everdeen and Mr Mellark. President Alma Coin does not seem to be planning on a quiet resignation despite continuous unrest in the districts. Tomorrow the strike is planned and with any luck we it should all be over by the end of the week with the lowest number of casualties possible but we're expecting a good-" The voice says before Rory cuts it off.

"I'm coming. I'm coming with you tomorrow." I tell them.

"I know." Katniss says. Well, that was easy.

"I don't think that's a good idea, anything could happen. What if they capture her, what if she gets hurt, what if-" Rory argues.

"I belong there as much as anyone else. I'm a part of it and I want to go home." I say. Rory clenches his jaw and that little line between his eyes appears. Even in a pink nightgown Katniss looks so fierce that I know she will win. I am going.

"You stay in the hovercraft and you'll be safe enough." She says.

"No! I want to come with you. I want to be there when you get her. I want to watch her the moment she is caught." I argue.

"Don't you think making them let you come in the hovercraft was enough? I'm tired Melodie, more tired than you would believe. Don't argue with me. I'm not losing you and that's final." She says firmly and I hear Rory let out a long breath of relief. Peeta joins us looking ruffled fresh from sleep.

"Then I'm coming too." Rory says crossing his arms.

"That's for Gale and your mother to decide. I can't decide that for them." Katniss says.

"Then why do you get to decide for Melodie?"

"Because Peeta and I care about her. Plus if I didn't let Gale decide I might as well be dead already." She tells him. Peeta pats Rory on the back and gives him a knowing smile.

"I care about her too. Doesn't that give me a vote?" he mutters and Peeta chuckles then mutters something inaudible. I blush and refuse to catch any of their eyes for the rest of the day.

Gale arrives a little before lunch then Peeta and Katniss leave an hour later. The arguing between Rory, Gale and Hazelle begins the moment that they leave and continues on throughout the day so I take Posy and Vick and we play at the bottom of the large garden all afternoon so that they don't have to listen. By the time dinner comes the argument is settled and Rory seems to have won. Gale stays for dinner since tomorrow is so uncertain and we're leaving soon. Sitting side by side Rory and Gale have so few differences apart from height that if I squint slightly they become the same person. Gale catches me doing so and raises and eyebrow with an amused smirk. I've interacted with him so rarely that I still see him as that intimidating man on the screen but here at the table teasing Posy he isn't so frightening. He and I are part of the same mismatched family pieced together from the broken and the weary.

It comes to time to leave and Gale goes to wait in the hovercraft. Posy demands that I am the one to put her to bed again tonight. When I come in she has the sheet pulled up over her head. "What are you doing under there, silly?" I ask and try to pull it down but she hangs on.

"Hiding from the monster." She tells me and sticks one hand out of the cocoon to point at the wardrobe. I give a small laugh and open it up to show her that it's empty. She pulls the sheet down to her shoulders.

"Posy, there's nothing there. Let me tell you a secret. Adults make up stories about monsters to scare children into doing what they're told but the truth is that they don't exist, at least not the way you think they do. They don't lurk under the bed or in the wardrobe. They look just like you or me. The real monsters are out there, Posy, and people like Katniss and Peeta and Gale are the ones who catch them. What do you think about that? Posy Hawthorne, sister of a monster hunter. If everything is goes well then by next week you won't ever have to worry about monsters any more. Poof! All gone." I tell her. I think the meaning of my words is lost on her but she isn't hiding under the covers anymore. "Goodnight Rosy Posy. I'll see you again soon." I promise then kiss her on the head and close the door behind me.

Rory is already saying Goodbye to Hazelle and Vick so I try not to interrupt their moment together but Hazelle pulls me in to join their embrace. "You two stay together and do what you're told. Don't leave the hovercraft. Don't do anything stupid. If anything happens to you I don't know what I'd do. You come home safe then we'll go home. Home to Panem together in our new life." She says as the tears run. She has to worry about Gale, about Katniss, about Rory and about me. I'm sure she cares about Peeta too and that's a whole lot of worrying for one woman. I promise that we'll be fine then we each grab a ladder and we're dragged frozen upwards into the hovercraft.

We meet Gale in the cargo area and he leads us through the halls to a room at the back with a huge window that wraps around half of the room. Themis sits at the head on the large table with Katniss and Gale on each side of her and Patria soldiers filling many of the other seats. A huge screen fills the remaining wall and on it is a map of The Capitol. At least twelve red dots glow and each has a lighter area surrounding which touch each other so almost the entire map is covered. I ask Themis what they represent.

"Each dot is a bomb positioned over the Capitol right now. The paler area is what will be destroyed if Coin doesn't surrender. We're hoping that we won't need them." She tells me.

"Can't Coin just destroy the crafts carrying them or do the same to Patria?" I ask. Themis laughs lightly.

"Panem's technology is decades behind ours. Those bombs aren't in regular hovercrafts. They're miles above the earth in unmanned capsules. Panem can't reach them but they're aimed right at her. Any bomb she has aimed at us will be destroyed before it even gets halfway across the sea even if she has anything that can make it that far. Our sources suggest that she doesn't. I'm all for more excitement but this is pretty simple. Zugzwang." She says.

"Zugs what?" I ask.

"Zugzwang. It's a term we use in games to describe a time when the opponent can only move with severe loss or disadvantage. Like chess or checkers. In other words we've got her trapped." Themis tells me. She fills in a few other details such as Coin's refusal to leave the President's mansion but I stop listening after a while. I excuse myself to use the bathroom after a few minutes but do not return. I find a little supply closet beside one of the bedrooms and sit on the floor in the darkness. This is my home they are talking about. Every place I ever walked and every person I ever passed in the street could be gone if Coin doesn't surrender. I can't comprehend every place I've ever known being destroyed. For a moment my darkness asks if it wouldn't be preferable to let the games go on to save my home. But then I remind myself that if it did I would never really go back there, I'd always be half in the arena for the rest of my life just waiting for the next tributes to come along then leave me. Hundreds more I cannot save. I rest my head on my hands and breathe in the stale air.

The door opens and Katniss is there in her mockingjay suit. She notices me and smiles. "You're in my spot." She says. I shuffle over and she sits beside me. We sit in the silent, warm room and listen to the sound of our own breathing. "Rory was looking for you. He told Themis that they should all be looking for you in case you've been kidnapped or something." Katniss says eventually. I give a half-hearted laugh. Of all the things he could be worrying about he is fretting over kidnap from a hovercraft many miles above the earth.

"Are you sure you should leave Peeta and Gale alone together?" I snap although I'm not sure what made me so angry. Perhaps it is Rory's constant worrying or perhaps it is because I know that in a few hours my home could be gone. Katniss tips her head back and sighs.

"Gale found his Dandelion and I found mine. He doesn't need me anymore. Her name is Phoebe. She's... She's perfect, Melodie. She's everything I can't be for him. He's happy. And I have Peeta." She says and although she is smiling she looks like she could cry. "I do love him, Peeta I mean, only sometimes I forget that. Sometimes it still feels like a game or I show I have to keep up until all of this is over. Some days it takes waking up in his arms or the smell of baking bread to remind me that this is real. He is mine. I get to keep him."

I close my hand around hers to comfort her. "I think that knowing that we get to keep the person we care about is the most important thing these days. I don't know what if you or Peeta or Rory or Posy or heck, even Haymitch got taken away from me. I can't bear to- I can't even- I won't-" I try but I can't steady my breathing enough to finish the sentence. I feel the wave of panic come again and the edges of my vision go fuzzy. I feel Katniss's grip tighten.

"Melodie, listen. Listen Melodie, concentrate. You're going to give yourself ten seconds to be scared then you're going to get and up we're going back. Just ten seconds then everything will be fine. You have to believe it."

I let my mind race and my breath quicken as she counts down from ten quietly. It ebbs and flows around me consuming my mind. She gets to "One" and I take in a huge breath then push the panic away until it detaches from me. I straighten feeling a little drained but it is time to move. Katniss pushes the door open and lets in the light then I pull myself up and we walk back to Themis and everyone else. "Where have you two been?" Rory asks.

"Oh, just chatting." Katniss replies coolly. She is getting scarily good at pretending. Themis tells us that we won't arrive in The Capitol until early tomorrow morning so we are dismissed to get some sleep.

I'm shown to my room by the guards but I can't settle. I toss and turn for an hour or two then give up and wander the empty halls for a little while. I grow bored and turn back to go back to bed but run into Rory on the way leaning against his door wearing nothing but long red pyjama pants. He catches me staring then gives a shy smile and I blush. "Can't sleep either?" he asks.

"Same as always. I hoped I would run into Katniss and Peeta but I had no luck. Have you seen them?" I ask.

"They're with Themis and Gale still. I guess you'll have to settle for me." Rory smiles. He opens his door and I follow him into his room. I sit at the foot of his bed beside him and we talk in the darkness until sleep finally takes us.


	22. Contain

I wake up to banging at the door and a male voice. The nightmares still came last night but instead of the usual thrashing and screaming I was locked inside my own mind frozen in position. I was always aware of the dream but never able to stop it and I chased my mother through the arena all night. I roll over and find my face just inches from Rory's. He looks so young in sleep, even younger than Vick. His features are soft, relaxed. I notice that he has a small freckle on the middle of his bottom lip. The voice continues and Rory opens one eye. "Rory, are you up? We're almost there. Themis wants you ready in ten." Gale calls. Rory smiles and pushes his finger to his lips.

"Yeah, two minutes. I'll be right out." Rory shouts back. I nestle down under the covers and try not to laugh at Rory's wide panicked eyes.

"That means you too, Melodie. We all know you're in there." Gale calls after a long pause and I can hear the humour in his voice. Rory and I freeze for a second as we listen to the tapping of Gale's feet on the floor as he walks away then I finally let out a laugh then suddenly I feel like a kid again giggling after being caught playing with my mother's makeup.

"I guess we should do as we're told then. It's almost go time. Home." Rory says.

I go back to my own room and dress in the long black shirt and pants that have been set out for me then slide my feet into the soft leather boots. I wrestle my hair into a band then brush my teeth as quickly as possible before returning out to the hall. Rory waits outside my door dressed similarly. We walk together in silence to the dining room where everyone waits for us. "Ah, you're finally here. Sleep well?" Peeta asks with a good–natured smile and out of the corner or my eye I see Gale smirking. I'm glad that everyone is in high spirits even if it is at my expense. Katniss, though, is cold and distant compared to normal. Of course, to anyone who does not know Katniss well she would always seem distant and emotionless but I have become one of the few who truly see her. Even for Katniss this is strange. I guess I can't blame her knowing what today might bring.

"I slept perfectly, actually. Thank you so much for asking" I lie sweetly then take my seat between Katniss and a woman named Matalla who seems to be somewhat important. I eat three bowlfuls of fruit and two slices of fresh bread but nobody else seems to have much of an appetite. Themis tells us that we have Coin surrounded and the arrest will be made at 10. Afterwards we are scheduled to speak to both the districts and The Capitol to confirm the events and announce that the Hunger Games are finally abolished. I hardly think that we are qualified but Themis says that the news will come better from The Mockingjay who led the rebellion, the boy whose love they have followed so closely and me, the final victor and Snow's Granddaughter. Peeta's natural charm will make up for our lack of experience. Freedom is so close I can almost taste it.

Themis confirms that the Capitol Hovercrafts have all been taken out and that thirteen has already surrendered. I realise how much I have been kept out of the loop as they recap all of the actions which have lead up to this day. I can see why Katniss and Peeta and Gale have been so exhausted. They have the mansion surrounded and they are expecting Coin to surrender within the hour. I hope with the blackened little piece that remains of my heart that they do not need the bombs.

I run to the window as we finally pass over The Capitol as they fade from black and I finally see it. I never cared for it before but after being away for so long the shining buildings and perfect curves of my home are the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. The streets are lined with guards and even from this high up I can tell them apart instantly from the few Capitol residents that still stand outside their houses desperate to be the first to have gossip. This is nothing like the chaos of the evacuation when Katniss and everyone else made their way to the mansion to kill my grandfather. The guards are controlling it well, there is no panic and no stray bullets fly. The soldiers of Patria are careful and precise. Patria understands the value of human life.

Rory and I accompany the team which have been assigned to Coin's arrest. Katniss, Peeta, Gale and seven others stand in the cargo area waiting to enter the capsules and descent down onto the city circle. The first team of five descend and I say good luck the three members of our fractured little family and hug them one by one. Even Gale. I find that he has the same sweet, woody smell as Rory. Peeta is solid and steady but Katniss is stiffer although she does hold on for longer than I expect. "Stay safe, girl on fire." I whisper and she gives me a small smile before turning and stepping into the capsule. The three of them are joined by the two remaining soldiers then the door slides closed and they fall away from us. I slide my hand into Rory's and we're lead to the room with the screen to watch as Katniss swings her bow over her shoulder and walks between them through the mass of guards and into Coin's mansion.

The screen flicks to another view which seems to be walking with the team. I assume by the view that it is attached to one of the guards behind them. I tighten my grip on Rory's hand as we watch them enter the main hall and walk to the great hall. The doors swing open and they stride towards Coin. She sits in a golden armchair in the centre of the floor with a Patria guard at each side. She sits with her hands clasped in her lap and an unforgiving look in her cold grey eyes. She stares right at Katniss the entire time. Gale and Peeta each grab one of her arms and they walk her out into the hall. Katniss walks behind them and it happens so fast I barely realise that she is reaching for her bow but the arrow is already flying through the air an into Coin's flesh. "Goodnight." She whispers to it then lets the bow fall. I drop Rory's hand and cry out as the guards descend on Katniss and the boys are shoved off as they try to protect her. The camera is aimed at Coin's body and I see her crumpled body stop twitching in the small pool of blood. She looks old and fragile lying there on the mahogany floorboards with her face pressed against the wood and one arrow protruding from her back.

Rory tries to comfort me but I can't breathe as I watch Katniss dragged away screaming. She is wild, feral. I almost can't stand it when the camera pans to Peeta's face as he watches Katniss falling apart. Rory's arms try to wrap around me again and pull closer but it takes my body a while to relax into him. I keep my eyes on the screen as we watch in horror as the three of them are marched back to the capsule. I grab Rory's hand and we race past our own guards and into the cargo area but they catch us before the capsule arrives. My hands are pulled behind my back and I stop struggling but Rory continues to fight them. I feel something sharp enter my neck and my body goes limp just as the capsule containing them slides into place.

When I wake up I am already sitting up in an armchair beside Rory. His eyes open and he grabs my hand in a moment of panic. Themis waits for us at the door. We follow her down a short corridor then she turns to us. "Gale is on the right. His leg should be fine by tomorrow but he must not touch those stitches so be careful with him. Hazelle will be here before dinner. Katniss is on the left but don't mess with the buttons." She tells us.

"Where's Peeta?" I ask.

"He's at the other end of the medical centre. He got a few scratches but nothing major. After you see Katniss you're on air with him to announce Coin's death. He has the script, you just have to be there." She says. I begin to argue but she warns me that after the scene that Katniss has made it is the least I can do. I turn left and Rory turns right. When I enter the room I gasp.

In the centre of the room is a long glass tube and in it lies Katniss. Two wide straps keep her tethered to bed within. The four guards around the tube seem rather unnecessary considering the thick panel of glass surrounding her but I don't even bother trying to ask them to leave. I walk slowly to the glass and peer inside. Katniss is covered in bruises that have already begun to show. There's a long cut across her exposed stomach and a bandage over her left eye. She presses her hand to the glass and winces. "Prim?" she whispers.

"Just Melodie." I tell her.

"Hello, just Melodie." she mutters.

She sits up carefully and bites her lip. I notice the bright red band on her wrist that declares her to be mentally unstable. "We match." I say holding up my own wristband. She gives a half-hearted smile.

"It's finally over." She says and I catch the fire still burning weakly behind her eyes. Part of her is still in there.

"I really hope so." I whisper and give her a small smile. She looks so fragile and broken now that she has shed her mockingjay wings.

"You'll come home with us to twelve, won't you?" she asks.

"Uh - I hadn't thought about it. I suppose I don't really have anyone here but I don't know if..." I begin but I already know that I will go with her. They are my family now. Rory, Hazelle, Posy, all of them. "Of course I will." I tell her.

I hear someone clear their throat and I turn to see Haymitch. I haven't seen him since we arrived in Patria but we all know that he was the one who was behind gaining Coin's surrender. "Peeta is waiting in the car. It's show time." Haymitch tells me then he gives me a pat on the back and I wave goodbye to Katniss but I know for the first time since we met that this goodbye is not forever.

My guards escort me out of the medical centre and into the car but now back in Panem it does not hover. We ride frustratingly slowly through the crowded streets stopping at every cluster of guards to prove our identity without the ability to soar over the top of them all. "How is she? They – they wouldn't give me any time to - to see her so I - I don't even know if she..." Peeta stutters.

"She's as good as can be expected, Haymitch is with her. Gale has a broken leg but they say he'll be fine by tomorrow." I tell him. He lets out a breath of relief. His thick blonde waves of hair are becoming too long and keep drifting into his eyes, another reminder of how little time they have had lately. At least this interview will be the end of it.

We arrive at Panem's broadcast tower where all of The Hunger Games are edited and prepared along with any Presidential announcements. Peeta and I are crammed into the small elevator along with our guards and then soar upwards stepping out into an airy circular room with blue tinted windows that allow a view of the entirety of The Capitol. Two ornate silver chairs are set out in front of the camera crew along with a screen so that we can watch the parts that will be edited in while until we are on. I sit in my own seat beside Peeta and find that my script has been written on a second screen above the camera. Apparently Peeta doesn't need it because the announcement is starting. Peeta squeezes my hand for encouragement and the screen starts to move then we're broadcast to the whole of Panem in

5,

4,

3,

2,

1...


	23. Risen

"...and we're glad to announce the official abolishment of The Hunger Games. Commander Matalla Paylor will be acting as our temporary President until the elections new month when every resident in Panem over the age of sixteen will be eligible to vote. More bulletins should be expected over the next few weeks but for now Goodbye and Goodnight from Melodie and I with best wishes from our newest allies in Patria." Peeta finishes and then the there's a round of applause and cheering from the crew. The cameras pan away and it's over. There's a feeling of contentment on the ride back to the apartments we have been assigned to until everyone is healthy enough to go home.

I stand in the place where I slept for five years and brush my fingers along the furniture. The kitchen, the library, the living room, my bedroom. I hated all of these places when the tower was my home but now I think perhaps I might miss them. My head housekeeper watched me with those same mean little eyes and I dismiss the thought. Once everything I want is packed I descend the marble staircase and say goodbye to this place forever. "All done?" Rory asks.

"Forever." I reply and we step inside the capsule ready to travel to our new home in twelve.

* * *

We all stand around the table in Peeta's dining room with drinks bubbling in our hands. Last month Doctor Aurelius pleaded with the court that Katniss had been emotionally and mentally unstable at the time of Coin' assassination and therefore should not be held accountable for her behaviour. We have been back in twelve for a week now but today we celebrate now that everyone is beginning to heal.

As a family we inhabit most of the twelve mansions in Victor's village. I live between Haymitch and Hazelle's houses although the place where Peeta and Katniss now live together is our favourite for gathering together. Annie Odair and her son live in Katniss's old house because she cannot bear to be there without Prim. Gale has claimed the sixth house and Phoebe stays often. Katniss was right, she really is wonderful and already one of us. Sometimes when Gale looks at Katniss there's still that look in his eye but then he turns to Phoebe and I know it could never be the two of them. Katniss doesn't need Gale's fire; she has plenty of fire herself. What she needs is her dandelion in the spring, the bright yellow than means rebirth instead of destruction. Phoebe, Peeta, Rory. They are the only people can give us what we need: the belief that life can be good again. Katniss and Peeta still play their game of 'Real or not real'. Rory and I were sitting with them in the garden last week and suddenly Peeta turned to her and asked 'You love me. Real or not real?" and she replied "Real."

Rory wraps his arm around my waist and we drink to our new life. He has not left my side since we arrived back in Panem and I hope that he never does. I still see Elias leaning against the wall watching us now and again but the hallucinations are beginning to come less often. If that is all they are, that is. Sometimes I still wonder. I am finally told that Ezra and Elias did not know of what was happening outside the arena and that their bid to protect me was purely because they remembered what the jacker venom forced me to forget. Love and friendships formed long before we were aware of what kind of world we lived in.

The districts each received their first food parcels last week and Paylor makes sure that the head peacekeepers assigned to each understand the new regime. She was elected fairly and Panem seems to be changing already under her. By the end of the year we expect to have distributed enough wealth to stop the starvation. It's rather a naive and optimistic goal but we are intent on accomplishing what we have promised. Patria officials will continue to monitor our government until a time when they are sure that we will not fall back into our old state. We know that we are still in that sweet time when everyone agrees that the atrocities of previous years should not be repeated but eventually it will end. One day we will have more demons to face but nothing could be as bad as what we have seen.

"Do you really think this is it? Is this the end?" I ask Gale.

"I don't know. Maybe this time will be the one. The time that it sticks. Maybe we've shocked ourselves into a new way of thinking." He replies. I smile and then he spins away with Phoebe and they join Hazelle and Vick dancing to Plutarch's new singing program on the TV. It's upbeat and new and pretty much sums up the feeling of the time. Katniss and I have agreed to participate next month. Apparently my small song to Elias during the games was enough to convince them I am qualified. The girl on fire and the last victor are in high demand right now. The districts will be able to enjoy the same viewing as the Capitol in a bid to raise spirits throughout Panem. With the increase in food, decrease in peacekeepers and general changes occurring even the districts are beginning to awaken.

Mrs Everdeen still refuses to return to twelve but Katniss tells us that she has started a new hospital in district four. She won't come back here with Katniss's father and Prim and the ashes. Katniss and Gale took their first hunting trip in months yesterday while Phoebe and I helped Peeta to make lunch. Although most of twelve was destroyed we have started to bury the bodies in a mass grave under the meadow.

Rory leads me out onto on the green in front of our houses and we walk among the flowering shrubs. From twelve I can see so many stars that we invisible under the constant glow of the city lights. The money left to me by both my mother and my grandfather is enough for me to live a Capitol life on for three lifetimes so I use as much as I can spare to help rebuild twelve. We have begun building a hundred or so houses where the destruction has been cleared away but there are plans to build real cities on where the districts once stood so for now they house only those who survived the bombings of twelve and wherever else needs them. Gale has a fancy job in district two but with use of the hovercraft he is always home for the weekend. We are finally together again. It is over.

"It's cold out here tonight, isn't it-" Rory begins.

"Oh shut up." I laugh and finally I kiss him. I catch him by surprise but it is the most natural thing on earth. I am his and he is mine and best of all, I get to keep him. Forever.


	24. Epilogue

They run a few feet in front of us giggling all the way. The twins each hold one hand of their brother as he plays along although he already fourteen and towering above me. He looks just like Rory when he was younger, grey seam eyes and dark hair. The girls are more like me. For Katniss the choice was harder, terrifying. More so with Aster than Wren but even with him she was unsure of herself. But I have always known what I need to keep me sane. The moment I felt that first stirring inside me I was overwhelmed with joy rather than fear. Being their mother came so naturally to me, they became the sole reason that I would drag myself from my bed each morning. Vale, Heather and Dawn play on their way to see their cousins in the meadow. The Mellarks belong with us even though they are not blood relatives. This is a Sunday tradition of the family we have created.

Vale knows about the games and our participation in them but for the girls the secrets of their home are still a mystery. He and Rory are the ones who protect the girls on the days when I am gone. With their help those days come less frequently but I doubt they will ever really stop. There are still mornings when I wake screaming at Elias to run. Sometimes I find myself feeling guilty, still wishing that it had been me instead of him. But then I walk downstairs and see them all sat around the table smiling up at me and the feeling passes. Those are the days that remind me that there is more to life than just breathing.

Gale and his Phoebe arrive late as always with their daughter Poppy. She is almost eighteen now and every bit lovely as the flower for which she was named. Gale is fiercely protective of all of our children which usually we appreciate but sometimes we can't help but tease him. Poppy brought Annie Odair's son Finnick to dinner last week and Gale glared at him all night like he was back in the woods and Finnick was the game. Katniss even joked for the first time in years that we could trade him for two turkeys and a loaf of fresh baker's bread at The Hob then offered him a sugar cube. The children had no idea what she was talking about. The place where it once stood has been replaced by a pet store where the children still beg me every time we pass to buy them that ugly grey kitten with the smashed-in nose.

Over the twenty years that have passed Panem has changed drastically. The districts, now dispersed, made way for cities modelled on Patria. Under President Paylor, who has been re-elected every single year since the rebellion, we remain a democracy. We thrive. Patria still remain our allies and we remain ever grateful for the sacrifices they made to free us. Panem is still rising from the ashes but quickly, steadily.

The children have so many choices now that I can barely believe it. We travel freely between the cities. You can go to work where district one once was and be home in time for dinner. Aster Mellark even told us she wants to become a doctor like Prim was going to be. Mrs. Everdeen briefly returns from her dark place when the children are around but never for long. We keep our visits short.

I began with so little family that if I had known I would have so much now I would have been overwhelmed. I couldn't have wished for a better mother-in-law than Hazelle Hawthorne. Sometimes I see what I have now and I'm overcome with sadness that my mother never got to see them. Her beautiful grandchildren are happy and free.

Peeta and Vick opened a little bakery on the other side of the city and made all of the cakes for our birthdays, weddings and eventually baby showers. Although they regularly receive offers to expand their business they say that they are happy as they are. Posy works in fashion in one of the largest cities. Her beaming face and bright pink hair is plastered across billboards all over the country advertising her new line of dresses. She designed my wedding gown as well as the ones worn by Phoebe and Vick's wife Talia. Katniss eventually married Peeta in a simple dress as orange as the sunset with little fuss but we made sure to include the toasting ceremony. Her ring bears Peeta's pearl. Thanks to Gale all of our children still call her 'Auntie Catnip'.

Our children, who are safer now than any child outside of The Capitol has been in hundreds of years. Our children who will soon learn about who my grandfather was and why the nightmares come. Our children who don't know they play on a graveyard.

I am no longer Melodie Snow. I am not just Coriolanus' Granddaughter or a Capitol tribute. I am Melodie Hawthorne. Mother. Sister. Daughter. Aunt. Friend. Victor.

**The End.**


End file.
